


Lock Your Windows

by Abnormal_Cleric



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Abused Anxiety | Virgil Sanders, Abused Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, Abusive Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Abusive Deceit | Janus Sanders, Alcohol, Alternate Universe, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Bondage, Character Development, Cheating, Crying, Deceit | Janus Sanders Being an Asshole, Domestic Violence, Drugged Sex, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Fluff and Angst, Gun Violence, Gunplay, Healthy Relationships, Hurt/Comfort, I don't know how it will end, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Incest, Kidnapping, Knife Play, Logan and Patton trying to be good parents, Logic | Logan Sanders is a Sweetheart, M/M, Married Logic | Logan Sanders/Morality | Patton Sanders, Mild Language, Minor Violence, Morality | Patton Sanders is a Sweetheart, Murder, Non-Consensual Oral Sex, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Parent/Child Incest, Past Abuse, Past Child Abuse, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Serial Killers, Sibling Incest, Stalking, Suicidal Thoughts, Suspense, Sympathetic Anxiety | Virgil Sanders, Torture, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Unhealthy Relationships, Unsympathetic Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Unsympathetic Deceit | Janus Sanders, Watching Someone Sleep, but it's complicated, but more angst than fluff, ignoring the problem, recovering from trauma, taking requests
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-07
Updated: 2020-10-11
Packaged: 2021-03-04 18:35:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 17
Words: 52,907
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25120972
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Abnormal_Cleric/pseuds/Abnormal_Cleric
Summary: Patton halted, taken completely off guard by the nature of the act before him. He took a sharp, unprepared breath and his shoulders and voice shook with every word. “Get your hands off my son before I call the cops.”
Relationships: Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders/Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders/Deceit | Janus Sanders, Logic | Logan Sanders/Morality | Patton Sanders
Comments: 130
Kudos: 122





	1. When We Live Such Fragile Lives

If he was smart, he would have been suspicious when his twin brother locked their bedroom door. Of course, Roman was a stupid little sucker and thought nothing of it. He didn’t blink when he heard Remus flop onto his bed and pull his feet up to sit with his legs folded.

“Hey, Princey, if we’re twins...”  
  
Roman looked up from his sketch and raised an eyebrow, as though doubting the wall in front of him. Any sentence Remus opened with ‘if we’re twins’ ended in disaster. He could only hope this wasn’t about telepathy again. “What?”  
  
“...And twins are like, genetically the same person... then if I banged you, would it even count as-?”  
  
“No.” Roman set his pencil flat on the desk and tipped his head back as if to ask the ceiling why his brother was like this. “Absolutely not.”

Remus leaned forward and his wicked grin came through in his voice if not his words themselves. “So that’s a yes?”  
  
“That is not what I meant and you know it.” Roman shuddered at the thought, then pushed it aside and tried to return to his sketch. _Repulsive._

“Okay, fine.” Remus climbed off of his bed and stood in the middle of the room, head tipped to the side, arms folded across his chest. “If you don’t want to go all the way right now, then you don’t have to. If you’d rather take it slow, I’d let you get away with just taking your shirt off and making out with me.” He said it like an offer Roman couldn’t refuse.  
  
Roman could definitely refuse. He twisted around in his chair so his chest was protected by the back and his legs were off to the side. His eyes held a lifetime of experience dealing with the man before him. “Remus, stop.”  
  
Remus’s eyes shifted from a golden honey brown to almost black. His smile lit up his face in the worst possible way as he took the two steps over to Roman. He raked the hair away from his twin brother’s eyes and held it back with his fist. “C’mon, Princey. We’re both consenting adults.”  
  
Roman had picked the wrong chair. His instinct was to kick Remus in the stomach, but his legs were trapped and useless. The next thought that flashed through his head was to grab his throat, but Remus would probably just say something about how kinky that was. Roman reached for his wrist instead and dug his nails into the skin to try to make him let go. “I did not consent to this! Let me go, you sick-!”  
  
Shouldn’t’ve opened his mouth. His mistake cost him the fight. His twin’s tongue was between his teeth and a sudden wave of terror dripped from his eyes and ran down his cheeks. He tried to fight back, but he couldn’t figure out how to do that without help. He could always just bite him, but again, Remus would think that was sexy.

The door handle rattled and someone was knocking on it. “Are you two okay in there?”  
  
This was his chance. He shoved Remus away and looked to the door. “Virgil! Do someth-!”  
  
Remus put a hand over Roman’s mouth and didn’t break eye contact. “Virgil, we’re fine. Roman’s just being dramatic.”  
  
The tightness in Roman’s stomach doubled when he heard loud, fast footsteps moving down the hall and changing rhythm when they reached the stairs. Not because he knew they meant Virgil was scared and probably going for help, but because Remus also knew that.

Remus leaned in, adjusted his hand over Roman’s mouth, and hissed, “We have about sixteen seconds until that door opens and I wanna make you beg before that happens. Try to keep it down, though. The neighbors will talk.”

Roman couldn’t move or put up any kind of decent fight as Remus caught his wrists and forced him into a standing position with his back against the desk. “Remus, stop! This isn’t funny! I want to leave!”

“And you can. When that door opens. For now, shut up and try to act like you’re enjoying it.” He smiled as if that would make what he was doing better. He transferred Roman’s wrists into the same hand and put his lips an inch from Roman’s ear to whisper, “Just for a minute, Princey.”

Roman could taste the sour, bitter contents of his stomach in the back of his throat. He was still crying and struggling like a hooked fish, but somehow the hand around Roman’s wrists was stronger than his whole body. Remus’s other hand was busy with the zipper on Roman’s jeans.

He got it open right when they heard someone calling from the bottom of the stairs. “Remus Sanders, whatever you’re doing to your brother has to stop five minutes ago!”  
  
Remus’s expression went from slasher film madman to psycho-thriller murderer in a heartbeat. He glanced at the door and then back at Roman. “If you scream, I’ll kill you.”

Roman didn’t scream, but he also didn’t stop fighting. His elbow hit the desk and shot a bolt of numbness to his fingers, but had one hand free.

A moment after he had escaped, Remus snatched his hand again and put it back between his fingers. His voice was the unique brand of hoarse and venomous that happens when one tries to yell and whisper at the same time. _“I said be quiet!”_

Remus got his thumb into Roman’s boxers just as the voice reached the door and gave it three solid pounds with the side of a fist.  
  
“Remus, open this door right now or I swear I will open it myself!”  
  
A shockwave of cold horror shot up through Roman’s stomach and spine when it happened.

Remus’s hand found what it was looking for. He smiled in a way that was both triumphant and dangerous. “Well, let’s give him something to walk in on.”  
  
Roman couldn’t even form a whole thought before Remus was pulling his wrists to one side and pressing his lips into the skin of his neck.

The lock on the door clicked and the slab of wood hit the wall with a noise that drowned out Remus’s “Shit!”, Roman’s sob, Patton’s “Remus!”, and Virgil’s frozen silence.

* * *

Virgil couldn’t tune out the noises from the twins’ room anymore. Not after he heard Roman distinctly shout “I did not consent to this!”  
  
_Didn’t consent to what?_ He flung his own door open and ran the two steps to the other room. He couldn’t picture the scene inside being anything short of dangerous and probably illegal.

First, he tried the handle. Then he tried knocking. Panic filled his lungs, but he tried to keep calm enough to speak. “Are you two okay in there?”  
  
Roman’s voice sounded frantic and close to tears. “Virgil! Do someth-!”  
  
A muffled second of silence, then Remus. “Virgil, we’re fine. Roman’s just being dramatic.”  
  
Before Virgil could even start to list possible things that might be happening in that room, he knew it wasn’t good and he needed help. He was down the stairs and standing in the kitchen before he took another breath. “Patton, it’s Remus!”  
  
Patton looked up from the stove and checked the timer. He didn’t seem to care about how _urgent_ this was. “What’s he doing?”  
  
“I-I don’t know. I think he’s gonna hurt him!”

“Hurt who? Roman?” It was like Patton didn’t even think Remus was _capable_ of doing any real damage.

Virgil knew better. He knew that anyone could be a saint in public and a snake at home. He had learned that lesson the hard way. For three years. When he was a kid.

Before he had a chance to confirm Patton’s guess, they both heard the better twin shout something frantic and angry.

Patton dropped the ladle into the pot and wiped his hands on a kitchen towel. Now he was starting to get it.

Virgil trailed behind Patton as he strode across to the stairs and yelled, “Remus Sanders, whatever you’re doing to your brother has to stop five minutes ago!”  
  
Patton waited a moment, then, when he heard a noise that sounded like something hitting a wooden desk, he understood enough to know that this couldn’t be solved by shouting across the house. He went up the stairs and hammered on the door a few times. “Remus, open this door right now or I swear I will open it myself!”  
  
Before he had even finished the sentence, Patton was searching the top of the doorframe for the key they always left up there in case something like this happened. He slid it into his hand, shoved it into the lock, and turned it hard. He twisted the handle and threw the door back to reveal the exact scene Virgil had both feared and expected most. “Remus!”  
  
Remus looked up at the sound but didn’t move either of his hands. “Yeah?”  
  
Patton halted, taken completely off guard by the nature of the act before him. He took a sharp, unprepared breath and his shoulders and voice shook with every word. “Get your hands off my son before I call the cops.”  
  
Remus let his eyes fall back on his twin brother, who had stopped trying to escape when the door opened. Now, he just stood there not moving. “Here that, Princey? Daddy’s gonna get me arrested because you squealed.”  
  
Technically, Virgil had been the one to ‘squeal’, but he had been afraid enough of Remus before this and really didn’t want to be next. He kept his mouth shut and stood on the far side of the hall, frozen.  
  
Patton set his jaw and his eyes turned into storms of anger and disappointment. He pulled his phone out of his pocket. He really would call the police if it came down to it. “Now!”  
  
Remus slowly extracted his hands from Roman’s body and took a step back. “Happy?”

“No!” Patton’s knuckles turned white around his phone. “What were you _thinking_? This isn’t how I raised you! I have been doing my best to keep you safe and happy and you go and pull _this_ behind my back? I knew you were trouble, but I never imagined... Remus...” he looked down and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Go downstairs. Don’t leave the kitchen. I’ll deal with you in a minute.”  
  
He shrugged and glanced at where Roman was kneeling on the floor, shaking. “Whatever.”  
  
Virgil pressed himself against the wall to avoid Remus, then crept into the room.  
  
Patton pulled the blanket off of Roman’s bed and draped it around Roman’s shoulders. His voice was completely opposite the harsh, stern tone he had used a second ago. “Are you hurt?”  
  
Roman shook his head mechanically and his hand closed around the edge of the blanket.

Patton straightened his back and looked at Virgil helplessly. “You make sure Roman is okay. Don’t go downstairs until I come up to get you.”

Virgil nodded and lowered himself onto the floor next to Roman. He tried to keep himself from panicking all over again. It was over. Roman was alive. That alone was a statistical miracle. “What happened?”

Roman’s eyes were glassy and distant. His breathing was sharp and shallow. He didn’t move except to shudder like an old house in a hurricane.

Virgil shifted around and tried something potentially dangerous, but that he knew he would want to be done for him if he was in Roman’s place. “Can I touch you?”  
  
Roman snapped his head up and his eyes focused on Virgil’s face. His voice sounded both resigned to his fate and defiant to the end. “Where?”  
  
“I just want to hug you. I want to make sure you feel safe. I swear I won’t use my hands and I’ll let go the moment you want me to. Do you want me to do that? Would you like a hug?”  
  
Roman nodded slowly, then picked up confidence. “Yeah. Thank you.”  
  
Virgil tucked the ends of his sleeves into his hands and bent them away from Roman at the wrists. He wrapped his arms around Roman and held him until he felt a tap on his arm as a signal to let go.  
  
They both sat back against the desk drawers and Virgil watched Roman for any sign that he was getting worse.  
  
His face was soaked in tears that were still coming and his shoulders shook with every breath. He kept rubbing his wrists and not responding to questions.  
  
Virgil was starting to feel pretty useless when Patton returned.  
  
“Roman? It’s okay. Remus is in the garage.”

“Is he going to sleep in here again?” Roman’s voice was thick and wet. Nothing like the voice he had used just yesterday in the middle of the kitchen with Virgil, a recipe for brownies, and ‘ _Santa Fe’_ from ‘ _Newsies’_ entirely from memory.

Patton looked at Virgil as though asking him for help. “No. He’s not going to sleep in your room for a long time. I told him he could set up the cot in the garage if he didn’t want to sleep on the floor.”  
  
“Lock him in there.”  
  
“I did. He won’t be able to hurt you again. I’ll keep you safe. I promise.” Patton knelt in front of Roman and smiled. “Hey... do you want to come downstairs? Sit in the kitchen and help me with dinner?”  
  
Roman started to stand up and both Patton and Virgil caught him when he lost his balance. He looked at Patton and took a shaky breath. “I want to help you.”  
  
Patton and Roman left for the door, but Virgil stayed for a second. He looked around at the room and he could still feel the tension from only a few minutes ago. It was heavy and dark, like the sky before a thunderstorm. The worst part was that everything was in its place, as though he had imagined the whole thing. It was like being a kid again. If he could learn anything from his past, this was only a small taste of the things to come. He shut the door on his way out and shook his head. There was nothing more he could have done.

* * *

Patton stood at the stove with Roman on a chair at the counter snapping the ends off of a pile of green beans. Patton was humming and Roman had washed his hands and face and was working away at a glass of water. It would almost be peaceful, if not for the darkness hanging over the house.  
  
Patton wanted to say something, but if he had learned one thing from raising Virgil, it was that talking something out before they’re ready could be worse than not saying anything at all. It had been thirty minutes. Roman was not ready.  
  
The door to the garage opened and Patton’s heart rate spiked. He looked up into a peck on the lips from his husband. He tried to dispel the moment of panic and didn’t meet his eyes. “Logan...”  
  
“What’s wrong?” Logan’s pleased smile faded into confusion and a dash of concern. “Did something happen today?”  
  
Patton had no idea how to answer that. He searched Logan’s black-framed brown eyes for a moment, then said the only thing he could. “Please don’t surprise me right now.”  
  
Logan took a step back and glanced at Roman, then back at Patton. “Does this have something to do with why Remus is sitting in the garage?”  
  
Roman had stopped working when Logan came in and he lowered his head to rest on his arms at the mention of his brother.  
  
Patton took a deep breath and tried to figure out what to do. His voice betrayed that he was crying before it showed in his eyes. “He... how do I say this? Remus tried to- He almost...” He closed his eyes and held Logan’s tie for support. “Virgil came downstairs and said he was going to hurt him and when I got up there- ...he was… he had Roman… he was……”

“He almost raped me.”  
  
Patton let his eyes open just enough that he could see Logan’s shoes. He used his hand around Logan’s tie to draw from the man’s well of professional honesty. He sounded like he was testifying before a court. “Yes. Remus sexually assaulted Roman.”

Logan nodded, fitting the pieces together. “I believe you. Both of you. I wish I could say I’m shocked and confused, but I can’t. I’m sorry I wasn’t home.”  
  
Patton looked up and scraped the heel of his hands under his eyes, then fixed his glasses and met Logan’s gaze. “What am I supposed to do?”  
  
“We can decide what to do later. When we’re alone.” Logan nodded toward Roman. “For now, we should all eat something. I’ll go get Virgil.”  
  
Patton returned to the pot on the stove and turned the heat off. “He’s in his room.” His face held every warning and piece of advice he had ever given. “Be gentle.”  
  
Logan nodded and left the room.

* * *

Virgil’s door was locked. Not that Logan expected otherwise after hearing what happened. He knocked softly and folded his hands to wait.

The response came almost immediately. “Who are you!?”  
  
Logan winced. He had known he should have identified himself first. “It’s me. Logan. Dinner is almost ready.”  
  
This time there was a silence before Virgil spoke again. “Okay.”  
  
“Can I come in, or should I leave you alone until we’re ready to eat?”  
  
The door unlocked and swung open. Virgil’s eyes were red and his cheeks were streaked with black. His voice wavered and he choked on the words. “Why did this happen?”  
  
Logan pushed his hair away from his forehead and let it fall back into his face. Virgil was counting on him to make sense of all this. He hated to admit it but... “I don’t know. The world is messed up and so are the people. Some are just... a lot more messed up than everyone else.”  
  
Virgil dried his face with his sleeve and took a deep breath. “I’m scared. I was scared he was going to hurt Roman, I was scared he was going to hurt Patton, and I’m scared he’s going to hurt me.”  
  
“I know. I know you’re scared because I’m scared too.” A cold hand gripped Logan’s stomach. He hated the thought of his family living in fear and suspicion of each other. He hated the thought of his husband and sons living with a violent criminal. “I'm scared for everyone. I’m so sorry you had to go through this. I can’t imagine what I would do if he did anything to you.”  
  
Virgil nodded silently and didn’t look like he was going to say anything else.  
  
“Do you want to try to eat something?”  
  
Virgil zipped his jacket up, stuck his hands in the pockets, and followed Logan down the stairs to the kitchen.

* * *

No one ate anything. No one said anything for a long time. The tension was dull and cold. The four of them sat around the table not touching their dinner and not talking for a long time. When the clock in the living room struck six-thirty, Logan shoved his plate into the middle of the table and set his head in his hands. _“Damn it.”_

No one argued.

Patton hesitated, then said very softly, “Logan...? Can I put my hand on your arm?”  
  
“Yes.”  
  
Patton took Logan’s arm and a breath. He just wanted to know that someone was there; that someone could help him through this.  
  
Roman pushed his chair back and stood up. “I’m going to take a shower and go to bed.”

Logan didn’t move. He didn’t want to tell his beautiful, talented son to hide from his problems but that was the only thing he could do. “Lock your windows and change in the bathroom.”  
  
“Sure thing.”  
  
Not long after Roman was up the stairs, Virgil stood and started clearing the table without a word.  
  
Patton broke down within minutes. He rested his head on his arm and sobbed a few times before the tears came.  
  
Logan’s chest was full of pain and an apology that would never be enough. He spoke gently and carefully, as though to a small child or an overwhelmed spouse. “Patton, can I touch your back?”  
  
Between sobs, he managed to nod and choke out a, “Please?”  
  
Logan put the tips of his fingers at the top of Patton’s spine and dragged them down his back. He turned the lines into circles and spirals as he talked. “I’m so sorry I wasn’t here. You’re not hurt, are you?”  
  
“He... he didn’t touch me.”  
  
Logan sighed and closed his eyes for a second. “May I please see your face? Can I put my hands on your cheeks?”  
  
Patton looked up to accept the hands cupping his face.  
  
“I didn’t ask if he touched you, although I can’t be grateful enough that he didn’t... I asked if he hurt you. Did he say anything? Did he threaten you? If he even vaguely hinted at wanting to hurt you, I want to know about it.”  
  
He pressed his cheek into Logan’s hand. He couldn’t hide this from him. It would kill him to keep it a secret. “When I was alone with him in the kitchen-“ Patton’s breath hitched and he was crying again. “...he said he was going to... he said... he would f-force me to… to……”

Logan collected the tears on Patton’s cheeks and shook his head a little. “I won’t let him.”

Patton gripped Logan’s wrist and held eye contact through his tears. “...He s-said he’d make you _watch!”_

His stomach dropped and he took a moment to insist that his mouth say the words that would let him help his husband. “Will you let me hold you?”  
  
Patton tried to catch his sobs with short, deep breaths. He stumbled to his feet and Logan held his arm the whole way. “Please... please hold me.”  
  
Logan stood as well. He wrapped his arms around his sweet, precious man and gently rocked him back and forth like the ocean. “I’ve got you. It’s okay. I’m here and I’ll protect you.”  
  
They stood like that for a while, just being together and being safe. It was the first time they had really focused on each other’s company in a long time. It felt good, even under the circumstances. Patton’s hair and skin held the subtle scent of pine and lavender, like it always had when they were dating. Logan breathed it in and closed his eyes, returning to a time when it was just the two of them with their whole lives ahead and all their worries behind.

Eventually, Patton mumbled something into Logan’s shoulder that sounded like, “We should clean the kitchen and go to bed.”

Logan nodded and slowly let go of Patton. It was like letting go of a lifeline. His stomach froze again and he was acutely aware of the gravity of the situation. “You’re right. I think we all need some rest.”

* * *

They both stopped in the kitchen doorway at the same moment.

The counters were clean, the leftovers were in the fridge, the trash was where it belonged, and Virgil stood at the sink, elbow-deep in dish soap and warm water.  
  
Patton crossed the room with no effort to be quiet so he wouldn’t startle Virgil by suddenly appearing at his shoulder. “Virgil, you can go to bed. Logan and I will finish up here.”

Virgil didn’t look up from the dishes. “No. You two should get some sleep. I’ll finish up here. You’ve both done more than enough already.”

Patton and Logan looked at each other, a little surprised and almost proud. This was the same kid who would stay in his room until the third or fourth time he was called, just to be sure he really did have to partake in family activities. “So have you. You really have done everything you have to. Logan and I will finish the dishes and-”

“No, I haven’t. I haven’t done nearly enough. Let me do this.”

Logan leaned against the doorframe. “I understand wanting to stay busy, but paranoia feeds on sleep deprivation. I know it’s not even close to ‘late’ for you, but the more sleep you get now, the better off you’ll be later.”

Virgil rested his arms on the rim of the sink and dropped his head and let his hair fall into his face. “Take the key off Roman’s door frame. At least move it somewhere else.”

Patton shifted uncomfortably and nodded. “Yeah… of course, I’ll do that.”

“You need to go to sleep. After the day you’ve had-”

“I’ll be fine down here by myse-”

Something hit the door to the garage and Virgil jumped.

Remus knocked on the door again. “Can I come inside now? I’m cold and hungry.”

Virgil glanced between his dads’ faces and nodded. “Y’know, you’re probably onto something with that whole sleep business. Goodnight. See you in the morning.”

When Virgil had gone upstairs, Logan and Patton finished the dishes and retired to their own room. They didn’t say anything as they crawled into bed and turned out the light.

The whole house lay awake, trying to make sense of the world. Roman couldn’t stop replaying what had happened. Virgil didn’t want to let his guard down for a second. Patton kept thinking of things he might have done wrong to cause this. Logan was trying to make a plan for what to do next. Remus just couldn’t figure out what the big deal was.


	2. And Pushed It Down The Stairs

Roman slept like a baby, which is to say he woke up crying every hour or so. At four-thirty, he decided that it wasn’t worth it to keep trying. He kicked his sheets off and lay on his back in silence. By the time five o’clock rolled around, he had had enough. He could barely hear the clock downstairs strike the hour, but it was enough to make him get up and stand in the middle of his room.

He turned the light on and his eyes landed on the dresser at the foot of Remus’s bed. It was covered in bottles and jars of rocks, shells, and a few less visually welcoming items such as bones, teeth, and a locked wooden box with the words  _ Fragile - Like a human life _ etched into the lid. Roman didn’t know what was inside the box and he had never been brave enough to ask. After yesterday, he didn’t care enough to want to find out. He hated it. He hated everything on that side of the room. The bed, the dresser, the weird creepy collections, and especially the box.

Before he could change his mind, he went against the most important piece of advice he had ever been given. Roman knelt on his bed, unlocked the window that looked out over the garage, and slid the glass aside. He removed the screen and set it on the bed.

Now the clock was ticking. The feeling that anything- or anyone- could get in settled in the back of Roman’s throat as he climbed off of his bed and stripped the sheets off of the mattress his brother used to sleep on. He gathered the bedclothes and dropped them one-by-one out the window and onto the roof of the garage. That was a start, but it was far from enough. He pulled the drawers out of the dresser and dumped their contents out to join the blankets and pillows three feet below. The drawers themselves were the start of the noise. The cracking, splintering sounds were muffled by the clothes and sheets, but it was enough to make him wonder if anyone was awake to hear it.

Regardless of the status of the rest of the street, there was still stuff in the room that didn’t belong to Roman and he had no intention of leaving it that way.

He picked up a jar of seashells and tested the weight in his hand. The surface was cool and smooth. He didn’t want to damage the roof, so he opened the window over Remus’s bed that looked down onto the driveway. It was maybe a twelve-foot drop straight down to the pavement. He tested the lid of the jar to make sure it was tight enough to hold.

Two seconds later, the driveway was littered with broken glass and pieces of seashells. If the dresser drawers hadn’t woken anyone, that had done the job. A jar of rocks followed shortly after.

The wine bottle of pennies and dimes hit the ground and shattered into a firework that reached to the edge of the pavement. The glass and coins sparkled in the light from the window across the street.

As soon as Roman noticed the other light, he froze. There was nothing he could do. All he really knew about the man who lived in that house was that he always dressed like it was nineteen twenty and he had a nicer garden than anyone on the street.

The silhouette in the window waved in a “carry on, didn’t mean to interrupt” sort of way, then disappeared and the light went out.

Roman started breathing again and looked at the glass vessels still on the dresser. It probably wasn’t worth the risk of continuing to throw everything out the window individually, even though it was satisfying and cinematic. He moved to the other window and reached down to pull one of the dresser drawers back up into the room. One corner was coming apart and there was a split all along the back, but it would hold together long enough for his purposes. He set it on Remus’s bed and moved every trinket and treasure from its place and into the drawer.

When his fingers touched the wooden box, he paused. He didn’t know why, but he picked it up and turned it over in his hands. The contents sounded like they were made of glass and clinked against each other when he tipped it to the sides. It wasn’t the loose shuffling, scraping sound he had expected. It was more regular and controlled, similar to a wind chime or a swinging crystal chandelier. It was lighter than he had expected.

He tossed it into the drawer with everything else and heard something inside it break.  _ Whatever. It’s all going to break eventually. _

The drawer was heavy and clumsy, but it balanced nicely on the windowsill. He combined pushing and throwing as best he could under the circumstances in an attempt to keep any shrapnel from hitting the house or the kitchen window.

The crashing, crunching, splintering sound echoed down the empty street and Roman’s satisfaction was almost matched by his fear of having woken the whole neighborhood. Almost. Not quite.

Before the sound had died, the light across the street was on again and the silhouette was opening the window. His voice wasn’t loud, but it carried like that of an opera singer. “Are you alright over there!?”

Roman flushed red and reached for the window screen. He conjured up everything he had been taught about projecting and speaking to the back of the room. “I’m fine!”

Both windows shut at the same time and it was over. Roman looked around at the space that was now thoroughly his and no one else’s. He could still feel his brother’s energy in the room, but that should dissipate by the end of the week. Maybe he could go back to sleep now.

He replaced the screen from the other window and closed it, then lay down on his bed. This was going to be the best two hours of sleep he had had in a while.

The room felt empty and hollow. The blank wall and empty cavities of the dresser stared at him and sent a spark of fear crawling up his back. He didn’t regret what he had done. Really, he didn’t. He just didn’t like the dark holes.

Five seconds into trying to sleep, he sat up again. He moved to the desk chair, but that just brought back what had happened the last time he sat there. There was no escape.

* * *

Virgil woke up to a loud crash from outside and didn’t move for a long minute. He checked the time and closed his eyes. It was five-fifteen. He had gone to sleep at around three. He listened for any more sounds, but he didn’t hear anything.

Just when he was starting to let his guard down and close his eyes again, there was a soft knock on his door. “Virgil, are you awake?”

He knew it was one of the twins, and the tone and cadence were close enough to Roman’s, but with everything that had happened yesterday coupled with the crash, he wouldn’t place any bets. Remus had a horrible knack for imitating Roman’s voice and Virgil wasn’t taking any chances. If it was Roman, he would identify himself.

“It’s me, Roman.”

That wasn’t proof. He stayed as still as possible and hoped that, if it was Remus, he would give up after not getting a response.

“I need you to help me with something. I know that sounds like something Remus would say to get you to open the door, but I need you to trust that I’m Roman so I don’t have to get Dad or Father involved.”

Remus wasn’t one to put effort into building a case for himself. Virgil climbed out of bed and pulled on a hoodie over his pajamas, then unlocked the door and opened it a crack.

Roman stood in the hall, wrapped in a blanket. “Thank you.”

Virgil smiled in an attempt to hide the residual panic in his voice. “What do you need help with?”

That was when Roman laughed. It was a nervous, fragile sound that could fit in the palm of Virgil’s hand. “About that… you know how to clean up broken glass, right?”

Virgil let a look of horror and confusion cross his face. “Yeah, but-”

“Good. Come on.”

Roman led Virgil downstairs and to the front door. They both put on shoes and Roman grabbed a paper bag and some paper towels from the kitchen. All the gardening gloves were in the garage, so that wasn’t really an option, but Roman and Virgil both knew how to be careful.

“Where are we going? What did you do?”

Roman opened the door and slipped out into the night. He looked back at Virgil. “Be careful. It’s everywhere.”

Virgil shut the door behind them and looked out at the driveway. His shoulders sank and he lost any words he had thought of saying.

Most of the mess was centered under Roman’s window, and a large percent of it was contained in what looked like a dresser drawer that had been through a blender. Some pieces had skated all the way to the grass and the whole area around the drawer sparkled like snow in the moonlight.

“Roman… what did you do?”

“I threw all his shit out the window. His sheets are on the garage roof.”

Virgil laughed louder than he had expected to and tried to turn it into a cough.

Between the two of them, they managed to get the worst of the glass into the drawer and collect the dust and smaller pieces with wet paper towels.

When they were finished, the sun was coming up. They went inside as quietly as they could and washed their hands all the way up to their elbows. No telling what might have been on those jars.

* * *

He sat up and turned on the lamp by the bed. “Logan, did you hear that?”

Logan’s eyes were still closed and his breathing was shallow and even, a stark contrast to Patton’s own erratic, deep breaths. Logan’s eyes were scrunched shut and his face held a tension that Patton had only seen when something was very wrong.

He recognized the symptoms of a nightmare and gingerly placed the backs of his fingers on Logan’s forehead. He wanted to wake him up, wanted to tell him to investigate the noise- the noise that had woken him and sent his pulse into an unhealthy mile a minute. At the same time, he knew he wasn’t supposed to interrupt a nightmare or he would risk… something. Something bad would happen. It had never been clear what.

Patton closed his eyes and took a deep breath.  _ It wasn’t a door or a window breaking. It was his imagination. It was a trash can accidentally being knocked over.  _ When his own denial didn’t satisfy his fears, he turned to the habits of the man sleeping next to him.  _ There’s a perfectly normal explanation for this. There’s a perfectly normal explanation for this. _

There was a perfectly normal explanation for the door opening across the hall too, but that didn’t mean Patton had to like it. “Logan, wake up.”

It took a little convincing and a lot of whispered curses, but Logan opened his eyes and squinted up at Patton. He took his hand and squeezed hard. “What’s wrong?”

“I heard something break and there’s someone in the hall. It’s probably nothing, but will you  _ please _ -”

Logan sat up and kissed Patton to keep him quiet. “I’ll be right back. Don’t be afraid.”

Patton nodded and was afraid every second for five minutes until Logan returned.

“It’s okay. There’s nothing to be scared of. Remus is still asleep in the garage and Virgil and Roman are safe. The noise you heard was just something falling over down the street. I’m sure the person in the hall was either Virgil or Roman checking on the other.” Logan sat on the edge of Patton’s side of the bed and stroked his cheek. “Everyone is alright.”

“Thank you.” Patton smiled weakly. As long as his boys were safe, nothing else really mattered at that moment.

Neither of them truly went back to sleep, but they both tried to convince each other they had. Logan had one arm wrapped around Patton to keep them both grounded and to assure him that he didn’t have to face anything alone. Patton held Logan’s hand and gently ran his thumb over the back of it as a subtle way to calm both his own nerves and those of his husband.

* * *

Remus opened his eyes and briefly wondered where he was. The location returned to him and the events of yesterday followed shortly after. He was curled up in a blanket on the floor of the garage because he hadn’t been able to figure out how to set up the cot before he was too tired and frustrated to try anymore. Why was he awake?

Another sound, this one louder and a little less soft. It was like wood hitting wood. Again. It was coming from above him.

After the fifth noise, things quieted down and he closed his eyes again.

His shoulder hurt from lying on the concrete floor and nothing made sense anymore. He hadn’t really done anything that bad. It wasn’t like he had killed anyone. He had let Roman go when asked. He hadn’t hurt him. 

The glass breaking made him sit up. He might have imagined the first one, but the second and third crashes were clear and definitely from the driveway. There was only one place in the house that could access both the garage roof and the driveway and it was full of glass. His glass. He had spent years collecting rocks and pieces of bone and shells.

Even if what he had done was wrong, it didn’t warrant something this drastic. Revenge, he understood. This was an attack.

Maybe Roman wouldn’t break all of it. Just some things. The less rare ones.

The next sound was that of nearly a decade’s work hitting the ground from two floors up.

Remus sat up and couldn’t even think of something to do. He was far too tired and dismayed at the idea that all of his work had been destroyed by his own brother. Roman knew how much that stuff meant to him. He hadn’t done anything to deserve this. It was like Roman didn’t understand the severity of what he had done; like he believed that one harmless kiss and the destruction of his prized possession were on the same level.

He lay back down and resolved that he wasn’t going to retaliate. If he had done this over something so small, then Roman was more mentally unstable and unpredictable than Remus had thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still taking requests. Thank you to SuddenFan for inspiring the last segment of this chapter.


	3. You Look So Dumb Right Now, Standing Outside My House

The house was quiet when Logan finally admitted that he needed to get up. He tried to slip away without disturbing Patton, but the hand around his wrist tightened as soon as he moved. He had to go. He closed his eyes and pulled Patton closer, breathing in the smell of his hair. His voice was a whisper, rough with morning and an apology. “Please let me get up. I won’t leave without saying goodbye. I promise.”

Patton released him and he waited a moment before climbing out of bed.

He only vaguely registered anything he did. Showering and getting dressed was a blur of random thoughts.  _ There wasn’t anything he could have done. There was no way to predict this or prevent it. No… there were ways to prevent it. He could have paid more attention and… And what? What could he have done? Remus hadn’t done anything like this before. Why now? Why this? Why Roman? Why not… no.  _ He wasn’t going to ask that. He wasn’t going to wonder why Remus hadn’t picked Virgil. There were too many things wrong with the question. Too many ways to make it sound cold and distant. He would have been devastated either way. If he had the chance to choose which of his sons would be... there was no way he could pick. It didn’t even matter that it was someone in his own house. He didn’t want his family to be afraid of  _ anyone _ like that. Remus being Roman’s brother didn’t change anything. Logan would still feel this way if he had done this to a drunk girl at a bar. He wouldn’t let it slide.

Logan came out of his trance sitting on the edge of the bed. He brushed Patton’s hair away from his eyes. “Are you awake? I’m going to work.”

“Can you call in sick? Tell them you’re not going to be there today?”

“Patton…” Logan hated to leave him like this, but… “I have to go. They need me.”

Patton opened his eyes and turned over onto his back. “No, they don’t. Not like I need you.”

“I know. I know you need me and I want to stay with you. But I can’t do that.”

“Then get out of here. You’re going to be late.”

Logan took Patton’s hand in his. “Please don’t be mad at me. I’m sorry I’m never here.”

“I’m not mad.” Patton started to sit up. “I’m just… I understand. You need to go. We’re going to be fine until you come home.”

Logan smiled sadly. “I love you.”

Patton set a kiss on Logan’s lips and adjusted his tie. “I love you too.”

Logan stood and took two steps toward the door, then stopped and turned to look back at his beautiful husband. “We’ll figure something out when I get back. For now… if Remus is ready to apologize, and Roman is ready to listen, you should let him. I don’t want them to hate each other forever.”

“I’ll see what I can do. Good luck.”

“I have training. You keep the luck here. You’ll need it.”

* * *

At seven-thirty Logan had been gone for an hour and Patton stood in the kitchen, vaguely wondering whether he should check on Remus.

He had been in the garage for more than twelve hours and Patton may have been unsure how to handle his behavior, but he was still the boy’s dad and he didn’t want Remus to think he had abandoned him.

Before he could come to a solid conclusion, the doorbell rang.

Patton glanced out the kitchen window and judged the man stepping back from the door to wait as at least somewhat unlikely to be a serial killer, at least in the homicidal sense. To be perfectly honest with himself, the man was something of a lady killer- or a man killer as the case may be.

He closed the curtain and glanced at the door to the garage before crossing the room and opening the front door a crack. “May I help you?”

The man tipped his hat and offered a smile the consistency of cold butter. “Have I caught you at a bad time? I can come back later this afternoon if-”

“No, no… it’s alright.” Patton opened the door a little wider and tried to look like he hadn’t been crying. “What can I do for you?”

“My name is Janus. I live just across the street. I’m not here to pry or anything of that nature, but I’ve been hearing disturbing sounds from your house as of late.” The man held eye contact like it was a mortal sin to look away. “I only wish to know that everyone is alright.”

Patton glanced back into the house, then nodded a little. Under different circumstances, he might have been tempted to smile back and open the door all the way. “Yes. Everything is… we’re fine. Nothing is wrong except for the weather.”

Janus seemed to know exactly what Patton had just thought and exactly what to say to make everything worse. “Then I suppose whoever was throwing glass jars out the window over the garage was merely cleaning the room and decided efficiency was more valuable than respecting the peace.”

“What?” Patton blinked, struggling to imagine why anyone would have been throwing things out of Roman’s window at any time of day. The noise from earlier made infinitely more sense, but that was about it. “I’m sorry for any trouble… I’ll send him over to apologize more formally when I see him.”

“Thank you for your time. I appreciate the gesture.” Janus tipped his hat again and turned to walk back down to the street.

Under different circumstances, Patton might have been tempted to call him back and invite him in for a moment. He shut the door and locked it.  _ You’ve been happily married for eleven years to the only man you’ve ever wanted to be married to,  _ Patton told himself.  _ But then… you don’t want that kind of commitment toward Janus, do you? Forget about it. This family is falling apart as it is. Don’t make it worse. _

* * *

Roman came down the stairs after an hour-long attempt at sleep and walked across the street after hearing out Patton’s request that he apologize to Janus. He was dressed and his face was clean, but he didn’t look nearly back to his regular extravagant self. He looked like a regular young man one might see on the street if a bit more fashionable and polite.

The house across the street was in better shape than Roman’s entire life. The yellow and white flowers under the window looked clean and healthy to the point of fake, like an advertisement or some kind of surreal propaganda. Even the flagstone path up to the door was spotless and the stones fit together like gears in a clock. The only thing Roman had always thought looked out of place and against the grain of traditional society was the statues.

About ten or so bronze snakes lay in the grass by the flowers or curled up in the corner between the step and the house. The less disturbing ones were sleeping or just making their way across the lawn. Fewer than half of them were that tame. Some lay in wait for unsuspecting visitors, some had mice or other small mammals halfway into their mouths, and the worst one was as big around as Roman’s arm and stared up at him from the edge of the flowerbed with two sets of eyes and two tongues stuck out of two mouths to taste his scent. Creepy.

He stood on the doorstep of the gray house with yellow trim and rang the bell once.

A moment later, the door was open and a petite man who would have looked at home on the  _ RMS Titanic _ was standing before Roman with a raised eyebrow and an expectant nod. “Good morning. I assume you’re here about last night?”

Roman had never been too confident in the ways of proper etiquette without a script and now that became glaringly obvious. He hadn’t felt the need to impress the man until the social difference was staring him in the face. He knew how to improvise, but not within a set of rules he had never learned. No time to doubt himself. Just say what sounds right. “Good morning, sir. I’m Roman. I… I’m sorry if I woke you up last night.”

The man, Janus, smiled and turned his head just slightly. He looked like a photograph. “No, not at all. You didn’t wake me. You startled me and scared me half to death, but I wasn’t asleep to begin with.”

He rubbed his hand over his arm and forced himself to look at Janus. “Well, then I’m sorry for scaring you. Everything is fine. No need to worry or anything.”

Janus laughed under his breath. It was a pretty laugh, the kind that wins elections and gets away with murder. “Oh, I won’t lose sleep over it. Don’t fret. And… if you ever feel the need to drop something fragile and expensive out a second-story window again, I have a large collection of hideous ceramic figures for just such an occasion.”

“Thank you for the offer. I’ll keep that in mind.”

“Have a nice day.” Janus shut the door and it was over.

* * *

Virgil froze halfway down the stairs when the front door opened. He let out the breath he didn’t know he had been holding when he realized which twin it was.

Roman locked the door behind himself and acknowledged Virgil’s presence with a quick nod.

“Where were you?”

“Apologizing to the neighbor for the noise.”

Virgil stopped on the second step and leaned against the railing, hands in his hoodie pockets. “Yeah? Which one?”

Roman shrugged. “Across the street, nice garden, you know the one. With all the creepy snake statues? He’s actually kind of a nice guy. His name is Janus though, which makes him sound like a-”

“A bastard and a tyrant.” Virgil tensed and studied Roman’s face.

The confusion in Roman’s eyes was tainted by the concern in his voice. “What?”

Virgil shook his head. “Sorry. I knew someone with that name back when I was a kid. He was dating my last foster mom.”

“Oh.” Roman knew a little bit of Virgil’s story, how he had been given up before he could read and shuffled around between underqualified, uncaring adults for a while until Patton and Logan took him in. “I’m sure it’s not the same person.”

Virgil pulled at the edges of his sleeves and didn’t make eye contact. How had he not known who lived in that house? The yellow trim and door were bad enough, but the snakes should have been a dead giveaway. He knew he had seen one of them somewhere before. Once. In a room he had always been afraid of. He suddenly remembered being twelve years old and sitting on a straight-backed chair with tears in his eyes. A two-headed bronze snake watched him as the man facing the window whispered thinly veiled threats and bold abuses directed at his identity, his appearance, and his intelligence.

They stood in silence for a moment, then Virgil jumped and Roman spun around at the sound of a familiar voice.

"I'm not going to move back upstairs, but-"

* * *

Remus hadn’t fallen back asleep after he woke up, even after rearranging his blanket seven times and trying to convince himself his back would be fine.

He didn’t say anything an hour later when Logan left for work. He didn’t even open his eyes. He knew that, if Logan thought he was awake, he would probably drop everything to lecture him or something.

Another hour passed and the doorbell rang. He threw the blanket into a corner and sat on the cool floor to wait for anything to happen. He wasn't mad. He wasn’t upset. He was… honestly, he was betrayed and confused. They were the same person. It wasn’t like they were close but not quite, so something bad was going to happen. He understood Virgil, but Roman? Was he just mad because Remus had interrupted him while he was drawing? No. He did that all the time and no one had a problem with it. Roman would have said something if that was what it was.

When he had thoroughly thought himself in circles and only confused himself more, there was a soft knock on the door to the kitchen. “Remus, are you awake?”

It was Patton. He had tried to explain what Remus had done wrong yesterday, but he was so emotional and Remus didn’t really believe he had known what he was talking about. Patton meant well, but he wasn’t in control and he didn’t want to think about anything serious hard enough to solve problems. He may have been Remus’s dad, but he was no Logan.

“Yeah. I’m up.”

The door unlocked and Patton put a hand on the doorframe to steady himself. He shook his head as if he was trying to forget something and looked at Remus. He was distracted. “If you’re ready to come back inside… you can apologize to Roman and eat something.”

Remus stood up and folded his arms. He wasn’t going to apologize to Roman for anything. At least not sincerely. What was he even supposed to say?  _ ‘I’m sorry you’re such a prig’? _ “Okay, whatever. It’s a deal.”

“Thank you. He‘s in the hall. Please be polite.”

That, he would do. He wasn’t evil. “Yeah. Of course.”

Patton smiled and stepped aside to let Remus in. “Good. Please… please don’t make me regret this.”

Remus pushed past Patton and scraped his hair away from his face. His clothes were just wrinkled enough to look like a bad boy who didn’t give a shit about his parents’ money. The aesthetic was only reinforced by the fact that he was a horrible person who didn’t give a shit about his parents or earring money. He stopped when he saw Roman at the bottom of the stairs, talking to Virgil who was two steps up. He sticks his thumbs in his pockets and tossed his head back. “I’m not going to move back upstairs, but-”

“ _ Don’t  _ sneak up on me like that!” Roman put a hand over his heart and took a few shaky breaths.

Remus had always been told that they ‘both have such pretty eyes’, but now, searching them like this, he realized it was true. Roman’s eyes alone could get him to Broadway. The subsiding fear only added to their charm. “But Dad says I can stay in the house as long as I don’t hurt you and I apologize for yesterday.”

“Then apologize or leave.” Roman folded his arms across his chest and looked almost angry. His eyes were narrow and dark and there was something uncharacteristically sharp about him. “But don’t just stare at me.”

Had he been starting? He hadn’t noticed. “I’m sorry. I guess I should’ve been more considerate. I just…” Remus knew intellectually that Roman was more sensitive than Logan or Virgi, more emotional. The hard part was figuring out what exactly he had done that Roman was reacting to. “I’m sorry.”

Roman didn’t say anything. He just shook his head slightly and looked away. His eyes filled with tears and his lips were pressed together. He looked exactly like Patton had when Remus had threatened him in the kitchen yesterday.

Virgil had been quiet up to that point, but he couldn’t take it anymore. He glared at Remus from behind the dark circles under his eyes and a potent mix of fear and anger. “Bullshit. You’re only sorry you didn’t get away with it this time.”

“Fine. But if Dad asks, I did apologize.”

Virgil and Roman both started to say something at the same time, but neither of them was more important than Patton calling from the kitchen to ask Remus what he wanted for breakfast.

As he turned and left, he could feel their attention shift. They went right back to gossiping like schoolchildren.

Remus wasn’t one to eavesdrop, but it was okay when it was about him, right?

“Virgil,” Roman whispered like Remus wouldn’t hear him, “what did you mean by ‘this time’?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoever knows all the songs referenced in the chapter titles gets a prize.  
> It's a "congrats, [name], you guessed all the songs", but hey, still better than nothing.
> 
> Anyway, this one was a blast to write. I know I promised Virgil and Remus's history, and that's coming, but I hope this tickled someone's fancy in the meantime.
> 
> Still taking suggestions.


	4. Another Day Another Drama Drama

_ Virgil was twelve years old when the door to the closet under the stairs clicked shut. He couldn’t see the face six inches from his own and his heart rate knew it. His breathing was fast and hard. Too fast. He couldn’t speak, let alone scream. _

_ The light snapped on and a pair of mischievous brown eyes smiled at him. “Virgil, you’re almost as old as I am. Are you still scared of the dark?” _

_ He scraped the tears off his cheeks and tried to swallow his terror. It wasn’t the dark he was afraid of. It was being locked in a closet with one of the twins. He couldn’t even tell them apart yet. “Yeah. So what?” _

_ “Don’t tell anyone I said this, especially Roman, but there’s something I have to confess.”  
_

* * *

Roman shut the door to the closet under the stairs and went up to his room. He locked his own door and opened the window over his bed. It felt… safer this time, knowing that Remus was downstairs being watched. He reached out the window and lowered the broom down to start pushing the dresser drawers and clothes down off the garage roof. The sheets were more of a challenge.

After Roman had pushed all the debris off the roof, he pulled the broom back up and shut the window. Remus was a capable young man. He could get his clothes if he wanted them.

An unpleasant thought crossed Roman’s mind and he tried to make up an argument against it, but there really was no case to be made. It was entirely possible, and even probable, that Roman would have to burn all his clothes and get a completely new wardrobe. He didn’t want to, but he didn’t want to take any chances that Remus had done something to his clothes either.

He was also hungry, but he wasn’t starving. It wasn’t bad enough for him to risk seeing his brother again. He pulled his phone out of his pocket and texted Virgil.

_ I’m in my room, come with food. _

* * *

_ Virgil would be fifteen in a month when Remus caught his arm halfway up the stairs after school. Virgil made the mistake of turning to him. “Yeah?” _

_ “I…” Remus’s eyes traced everything about Virgil except his face. “I heard what that girl said about you.” _

_ Virgil’s shoulders sank and he felt a pinch on the back of his neck. “It’s okay. I’ve been told worse.” _

_ Remus took a breath and tightened his grip on Virgil’s arm. “I won’t let it happen.” _

_ Every warning bell in existence rang through Virgil’s head, but he waved them aside as leftover trauma from Janus. Remus may have been weird sometimes, but he wasn’t a bad person. “What do you mean?” _

_ “You’re not going to die a virgin. I’m going to make sure of it.” _

* * *

Patton was in top-tier denial. He had to be. He wouldn’t let Remus stay if he really understood what was going on, right? Virgil slunk out of the kitchen with one eye on the evil twin until he was out of sight.

He knocked on Roman’s door a moment later and whispered, “It’s me. I have starch.”

The door opened and a familiar, if tired and strained smile welcomed him into the room. “Thank you. You’re wonderful.”

Virgil slipped in and sat on the desk chair while Roman took a seat on his bed. He tore a small piece off of his croissant and tucked it between his teeth. He was an expert at stress-eating, but he couldn’t compare to Roman’s skill at depression-eating.

“So-” Roman mumbled around a bite of bagel, “-you don’t have to tell me if it makes you uncomfortable or anything, but…” he swallowed the bite and his eyes found Virgil’s face. “What the hell does ‘this time’ mean in this context? Did one of your old families…?”

“No. Nothing like that.” Virgil rubbed his wrists, then ripped off another bite of croissant. “Remus has been talking like that to me ever since I got here. He’s never touched me though.” It’s a blatant lie and Virgil knows it better than anyone.

Roman nodded slowly and set his bagel down. He didn’t want to think about all the messed up bullshit his brother was capable of behind his back. “I’m sorry. He has to go. I don’t care that we’re twins and we’re ‘supposed’ to stay together. I wish the agency had separated us. I wish I had gotten to grow up without him.”

Virgil had a lot of wishes concerning the way he had been raised, but he didn’t bring any of them up now. Instead, he took a breath and nibbled on the piece of croissant in his hand. “Yeah. But then, the agency screws up a heck of a lot more than they let on. They put me with Janus.”  _ They put him with Roman and Remus. _

* * *

_ The summer heat rose off the roofs and ground in waves. Remus stripped his damp shirt off and tossed it into the grass behind the house. Virgil fanned himself with the book he was trying to hide behind. _

_ The power had been out for an hour and both boys were sixteen and drenched in sweat that only made them hotter. They were also the only ones home. _

_ That was the first year Remus had helped the neighbor with some yard work and he was already starting to look like it. He knew it, too. His arms and chest were dark and just defined enough to look like a threat. He sat down on the table right in front of Virgil and a wild grin split his face. “Hey, take your shirt off and kiss me.” _

_ It was the kind of moment where a coming-of-age teen drama would have them end up with Remus’s hands in Virgil’s back pockets and Virgil’s tongue between Remus’s teeth at the exact moment Roman got home. _

_ Just the thought was enough to make Virgil gag and hold his book up to hide his face. “Shut up, creep.” _

_ “Come on, V... live a little.” Remus leaned back and squinted up at the sun, shading his eyes with one hand. “We’re young and stupid. The summer is halfway over and I promised myself that you would have your first kiss before school started again. Don’t make me a liar.” _

_ Virgil pulled his feet up onto his chair and tried to ignore the sweaty, obnoxious slab of misogyny next to him. “You say that like I want it. I’m fine. I don’t need a boyfriend and I don’t need your help.” _

_ Remus took Virgil’s book out of his hand and leaned in so their faces were an inch apart. “It doesn’t have to mean anything, it’ll just be this once and… I don’t bite unless you’re into that kind of thing.” _

* * *

The egg was a little overdone, but Remus didn’t want to get in any more trouble than he was already in and this didn’t seem like a point worth arguing. Besides, with the way Roman had reacted to what he did yesterday, there was no telling what Patton might do if he slighted his ability in the kitchen. A man’s only skill is his only skill, whether he’s actually any good or not.

He ate without complaining and left his plate in the sink. He had more important things to do than wash dishes. Like gathering his clothes from the front lawn.

Remus opened the front door and scraped his hair back away from his face. This was worse than he had thought. The drawers of his dresser lay broken and splintered on the grass, but at least his clothes were mostly contained in a loose heap covered with his sheets. This had been cute this morning, but now it was just downright unnecessary.

It was tedious, mind-numbing work, but a small part of him remembered what it was like to dig holes in the neighbor’s backyard all summer. That was tedious, mind-numbing, and  _ backbreaking _ . The sweat and dirt in his clothes and mouth, the calluses from the shovel and the fatigue in his arms… altogether it was a pretty negative experience, but he went back every summer because it was good money and because there was something almost romantic about the idea of getting hot, tired, tan, and jacked with someone watching him.

Remus had moved all his clothes into the garage, but they were still just tossed in a pile in the corner. He could deal with them later. For the moment, he was bored. Bored and achy and still unable to wrap his head around exactly which part of  _ “practically the same person” _ Roman didn’t understand. Besides, they had shared everything since they were kids. Why was this where they had to draw the line?

* * *

_ The sidewalk was dark, lit only by streetlights and the moon. They were eighteen years old and walking home from a movie at twelve thirty. Virgil had expected Remus to try something earlier, but it took until they were on their own street for Remus to put a hand on Virgil’s back and slide it down a few inches as he broke the silence. _

_ “Would you sleep with me if I got you drunk?” _

_ “What? No.” He tried to squirm away from Remus and stared at a spot across the street. “Don’t touch me.” _

_ Remus caught Virgil by the wrist and pulled him closer with the hand that was still on Virgil’s body, pressing their hips together. “Come on, don’t be like that. I swear I’ll leave you alone forever if you stop fighting me.” _

_ It’s a hollow promise. It’s a hollow promise. It’s a hollow promise from a hollow man who couldn’t care less about what Virgil wanted or needed and who was only there for one thing. He didn’t fight him. Not because he believed him, but because he didn’t want to start anything that could wake the neighbors or get them in trouble with Logan. _

* * *

Patton sat at the table with his head in his hands and his phone on the table in front of him. He wanted to call Logan. He wanted to hear him say that everything was alright. He knew Logan was busy. Nothing had happened to warrant interrupting his work. He felt cold and both alone and watched at the same time. He felt sick.

Remus would snap out of it soon. He was just a little off because he hadn’t slept well last night. It wasn’t a big deal. He was just… he was exploring. That didn’t make anything better, but it at least made sense. Every other excuse Patton tried to make for him was thin and unstable at best.

Maybe he hadn’t meant to hurt Roman. No. He was usually smart enough to back off when someone told him to. Maybe Roman had misinterpreted his actions. That was just as weak. Roman could read his brother better than anyone and besides, the image of Remus holding Roman against the desk was still burned into his eyes. That kind of thing didn’t happen by accident. Maybe he was possessed. Maybe he had been drunk and didn’t know better. Maybe Roman had started it and threw Remus under the bus when they were caught.

Patton’s arms slid down to the table, folded in front of him, his head resting on them. He was a horrible dad. How could he think that Roman, his beautiful, talented, sweet son could do something like that? But then, he wasn’t a good dad either way. This wouldn’t have happened if he had raised him better.

The phone buzzed and he lifted his head to look at it.

It was Logan.

He picked up the phone and answered it before he could tell himself to regain his composure. “Hello?”

_ “Patton, are you okay? Are you crying?” _

* * *

_ “That was pretty good, Virgil.” Remus lay on his back in the hot sand, eyes closed, panting like a dog, his shirt a few feet away. “Not perfect, but I like it. You’re feisty.” _

_ Virgil was sitting next to Remus, his white shirt soaked with seawater and sweat to the point that it was almost transparent. He was gasping for breath just as much as Remus was and his hands and arms ached. “Shut up. Don’t make this weird.” _

_ Remus grinned and reached over to brush his knuckles against Virgil’s ankle. “You’re the one holding the live fish.” _

_ “I said shut up.” Virgil struggled to his feet and dropped the pompano into the bucket. _

_ “I’m not making this weird. Why are you so opposed to the idea?” _

_ Virgil wiped the fish slime off on his pants and didn’t look in Remus’s direction. _

_ “It's just me.” He shifted himself around in the sand, propping himself up on one elbow so he could get a better look at Virgil’s back. “You act like I’m harassing you.” _

_ He was. What he was doing more than qualified as harrassment. Virgil knew it was just another manipulation tactic, and he wasn’t going to let it work. “Oh, yeah, because your advances are completely welcome and invited. Leave me the hell alone.” _

_ “Now you’re just being rude.” Remus sat up and scraped his hair back away from his face. “I’m not giving up on you. I’ll pull you in eventually.” _

_ Virgil picked up his fishing pole. That little thing really had put up a good fight, but he was learning to love the challenge. It was about patience and persistence, showing the poor soul he wasn’t giving up. ...pulling it in. A thought kicked down the door and pushed everything he was trying to focus on off his desk. He tried to blink it away, but it wasn’t like it wasn’t true. _

_ Remus was clever and witty and charming and, in the end, he was going to dig his heels into the sand and do whatever it took to get Virgil to say yes. It was only a matter of time. He could struggle all he wanted, but that would only add to Remus’s resolve. _

_ “No, you won’t.” He wasn’t ready to quit. Even if he lost, he was going to do his damn best to snap the pole or drag Remus down with him. He sat down and cast his line into the ocean again. “I’m smarter than you think.” _

_ Remus clumsily worked his way to a standing position, bushing the sand off and taking the three steps down the beach to put his hands on Virgil’s shoulders. He smiled and started to work the tension out of his nineteen-year-old brother’s neck. “Are you really?” _

_ Probably not. “Yes. Hands off.” _

* * *

Logan glanced at the clock and realized it was past time for him to go back. “Sorry to cut this short, Honey. I have to go. I love you to pieces and I’ll be home before you know it.”

_ “But-!” _

“Tell me when I get home. Charlie is standing in the doorway looking very disappointed with me as it is.” He hung up and returned to work.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There you go. That’s what Remus did that made Virgil so scared. I hope you’re happy now.
> 
> I have a vague ending in mind now, but suggestions are still welcome.


	5. Well, If You Wanted Honesty That’s All You Had To Say

Roman was equal parts thrilled and crushed when he remembered he had to go to work. On one hand, he would be getting out of the house and it was a solid guarantee that he wouldn’t see Remus for a few hours. On the other hand, he would probably end up being rude to everyone and only get more frustrated than he already was. “I’m not going.”

Virgil looked up from his laptop and glanced out the living room window. “Call in sick. You shouldn’t have to go to work after that.”

“But I-”

“It should be illegal. You aren’t going to be productive or polite to anyone, so why bother?”

“Because I’m running out of days off.” Roman sat up and looked at Virgil with hollow, infinite eyes. “I want to quit and move to New York.”

“So quit and move to New York. Who’s stopping you?”

“I don’t have that kind of money and we both know it.”

“I’m sure Uncle Remy would help you out.”

Roman laughed. He wasn’t about to beg for that man’s charity. If he couldn’t make it to Broadway on his own, he couldn’t make it anywhere. “I’m sure he would. That’s the problem. I want to get there on my own hard work.”

Virgil sighed. “You’re impossible. Go. Take a shower, go to work, earn your two dollars and fifty cents, and get out of my state.”

“But you said-”

“Either stay or go, but pick one.” Virgil stood up and reached for Roman’s hand. “Do you want to be in this house with  _ him _ or go to that theater with  _ them _ ?”  


* * *

“I talked to someone today.”

Patton smiled and nodded, so proud of his little introvert. “And was it really all that bad, Logan?”

“Don’t make fun of me.” Logan slid his arms around Patton’s waist and kissed his neck. “I talked to someone about Remus.”

“Oh.” He looked up. The dishes from dinner could wait. “What did they say?”

The arms around Patton tightened. “‘Boys will be boys.’”

The kitchen went silent for a moment. Patton gripped the edge of the counter and tried not to break something. “Excuse me?”

“That’s what I said. And that’s not the worst of it.”

“Do I want to know?”

“No.” Logan turned his husband around to look him in the eye. “‘According to whatever bullshit they’re on, we’re not supposed to do anything. Step back and ‘give him a safe space to explore’ and ‘let him navigate these feelings at his own pace.’”

Patton was dumbfounded. That was the worst advice he had ever heard and it was the most dangerous thing they could do right now. “Are you…? I mean, what does that even… what does that  _ mean _ ?”

“Nothing. It doesn’t mean anything because we’re not going to sit back and let him hurt our children like this.” Logan gripped Patton’s hands tighter, a strange almost angry determination in his eyes. “We have to do something and we have to do it now.”

“I know…” He pulled his hands apart so he could tuck himself against Logan’s chest and rest his head on his shoulder. “What are we going to do?”

Logan wrapped his arms around Patton’s shoulders and took a breath. “I’ll figure it out. He isn’t going to touch a hair on Roman’s head until we know he won’t do anything to hurt him.”

Patton held him and nodded, not wanting to think about what would happen in a week, in a day, in the morning, in an hour, or even in a minute. “I’ll be right here to help you every step of the way. For now… you should talk to him. You know how he is about us keeping information from him.”

* * *

It was after dinner. Remus had been inside since that morning. He had no reason to go back out into the garage. He had apologized to Roman even though he still felt like everyone was overreacting. He wasn’t even going to repeat whatever horrible mistake he had made yesterday. He lay on the floor of the living room with his hands folded over his stomach, his feet propped up on the couch, and his tongue stuck between his teeth. Damn. Why was Roman still so upset?

“Remus, sit up. I’m here to talk to you.”

“Don’t lecture me, old man.” Remus opened his eyes and looked up at Logan. “I’m not a little kid anymore.”

Logan adjusted his glasses. “That’s exactly why we need to talk. Sit up.”

Remus slid his legs off the couch and sat up. He didn’t meet his father’s eyes. “Then talk.”

“Please…” Logan took his place in the armchair no one but himself had sat in ever since it had joined the ragtag bunch of furniture in the living room eight years ago. “ _ Please _ look at me. I want to help you.”

He looked up and turned around to rest his back against the couch. “I don’t need your help. Why do you think I would?”

Logan folded his hands and leaned forward in his chair. “Remus, listen to me. You’ve always been different and I respect your… unique outlook on life. It’s good that you want to be close with your brother, but you have to respect his boundaries.”

Remus hugged his knees to his chest. He had nothing to hide. There was no reason to keep any secrets from Logan, except… Patton had been pretty upset and Roman and Virgil had both been acting weird around him all day. Maybe this was one of those times when he should just act like he understood and let Logan move on with his evening. “Yeah. Yep. Boundaries. Right. Sorry for any trouble I caused. I’ll do better.”

“You’re not a bad person, you just make bad choices sometimes. I still love you, but I have to warn you… I don’t know if Roman will ever want to be friends with you again.”

Remus took a second to process that. Roman… never being nice to him again? It wasn’t possible. Remus had done everything right. He had given Roman some time to cool off, he had apologized even when he didn’t really know what he was apologizing for, and now it was just a matter of waiting for Roman to let go of this stupid little mistake. He scrambled to his feet and shook his head. “No! No, you don’t understand! I said I was sorry. I don’t want him to hate me. I want him to love me. Why do you think I kissed him in the first place?”

“Remus, calm down.” Logan pressed his fingers to his lips and closed his eyes for a second. When he opened them, he looked at Remus through every disappointed lecture he had ever given him. “Maybe you didn’t mean to, but you hurt Roman in a way that can take years to heal. You can’t just say you’re sorry and expect him to trust you again. He has every reason to be suspicious and angry.”

That couldn’t be right. Logan clearly didn’t know what had really happened. “I didn’t hurt him at all! If he’s hurt, it’s his own fault for squirming! You’re all acting like I punched him or something!”

Logan didn’t raise his voice very often, and when he did lose his temper it was usually with Remus. It was always a shock and he never gave any warning. Now, he snapped like a flagpole. “You aren’t  _ children _ , Remus! What you did to him was unacceptable and you know it!”

“You say that like it matters! Who cares what I did? Don’t any of you have better things to worry about? Why are you all so angry!?”

“I’m not… angry.” Logan’s hands and jaw held the tension of a steel cable. “I’m just trying to help you understand that what you did was wrong and I won’t tolerate that kind of behavior in my house.”

Remus still had way more questions than answers, but he was starting to see what Logan was saying. “Is  _ that _ why you hate me? Because I  _ messed up  _ again? Because… Because you can’t  _ stand _ me when I make mistakes?”

Logan’s knuckles were white his face was red. “I can handle you when you make mistakes. This wasn’t a mistake or an accident, Remus. This was a crime. You assaulted him and he told you to stop. ‘Messing up’ doesn’t make you a bad person. Doing the wrong thing on purpose makes you a bad person.”

“What!?” Remus collapsed onto the couch and shook his head. Something thick and wet filled the back of his throat and his voice came out warped and shaky. “What are you saying? I’m a screw-up because I  _ want _ to be? I was  _ trying _ to make Roman mad at me? At least tell me what I did before you punish me for it.”

“Stop! I won’t be  _ guilted _ into letting you  _ get away with this!  _ You knew what you were doing and you chose to do the wrong thing.”

“You keep saying that! You keep saying that what I did was wrong, like it’s supposed to make a difference to me! Like I’m just supposed to  _ know _ before I do something that you’re going to think it’s bad! How do you expect me to figure that out when you haven’t given me anything to go on?”

Logan’s eyes softened and his lips parted. He was more confused than angry now. Now he was feeling something like what Remus had been going through since yesterday. “You mean… you can’t put it together on your own?”

Distress and anger crushed him into the couch and he took a long minute to put a whole sentence together. He suddenly felt incredibly stupid. Logan assumed he should be able to just…  _ know _ the difference? Like there was some kind of rational, tangible equation? Maybe the kids in middle school and high school were right. Maybe he was just too dumb to learn anything. “I’m sorry I’m so stupid.”

“You’re not stupid.” Logan gave the preprogrammed response almost immediately. He pinched the bridge of his nose and closed his eyes. “Let me try this a different way. Do you feel anything when you break rules and hurt people?”

Remus was trapped. He looked away and folded his arms over his chest. There was no right answer. Anything he said would get him in trouble one way or another. Better not to say anything at all.

“Answer me. Do you feel guilty for what you did to Roman?”

“Yes? Maybe? How am I supposed to know?” He was mostly just afraid that Roman wasn’t going to give him another chance to get close to him. There might have been a little guilt, but he wasn’t terribly familiar with guilt and he had never been able to identify any feelings that might fall under that label.

Logan leaned back in his chair and sighed. “You really don’t get it, do you?”

* * *

Virgil stood in the doorway to the living room with a glass of water in one hand. He didn’t want to interrupt, but he was trying to learn how to speak up for himself and ask for what he needed. “Father, are you… done yelling?”

Logan opened his eyes and looked at Virgil, then closed them again. “Yes. I’m sorry. I just… Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” he lied. “You just scared me is all.”

Remus shifted himself around on the couch and pulled his feet up under himself. “Everything scares you.”

“Remus. Stop. Virgil, it’s okay to express when you feel threatened. You’ve been in hostile situations before and I don’t blame you for anything.”

“I know.” Virgil gripped his glass tighter and shot a glance at Remus. “Goodnight.”

Before either of them could say anything more, Virgil left and went upstairs to his room. He hated that Logan’s voice had sounded exactly like Janus. He shut his door and crawled back into bed. He hated feeling like a kid again.

* * *

Logan was a little surprised to find Patton still awake when he finally sent Remus to bed and got upstairs himself. He sat on the edge of the bed, back to the door, not moving. Logan walked as softly as he could to his husband’s side and sat next to him. “Hey. Are you okay?”

“Yeah. I’m alright. Just… just thinking.” Patton was quiet for a minute, then he looked up and tried to smile as best he could. “How did your talk with Remus go?”

He brushed the hair out of Patton’s face. “As well as a talk with him ever goes. He’s scared and angry. I don’t think he knows why we’re upset with him.”

Patton took a breath and nodded. “Okay.”

“You… don’t understand what that means, do you?”

“No. Not really.” Patton took Logan’s hand. “But I trust you and I believe everything will turn out okay.”

“Thanks. Can… can I kiss you?”

His laugh was beautiful and pure, like silver. “Logan, you’re so sweet. Yes. Please kiss me.”

Logan took Patton’s glasses off and folded them in his hand as he leaned in to press his lips between Patton’s eyes. There was something about the simple contact that gave him strength and a new desire to protect the man who had married him even after getting to know him.

Patton put his hand over Logan’s. He loved to see this shy, careful, gentle side of him, but… “A real kiss.”

He pulled back and ran his thumb over Patton’s lips. He had wanted to kiss them all day and now... “If I start, I don’t know when I’ll stop.”

”Who said I wanted you to stop?”

Logan let Patton take his glasses and set them on the nightstand. He couldn’t see much through the dim light, so he closed his eyes. Patton’s lips brushed against his own to give him a better idea of where they were.

A moment later, Logan was on top of Patton with his teeth on his man’s neck and a warm hand under his shirt. Nothing mattered but the heartbeat that matched his own and the small sounds that were somewhere between helpless and satisfied.  


* * *

The man across the street had been going to bed at noon and waking up at nine every day for the last month and a half. He supposed the rest of the neighborhood was turning out the lights and kissing their loved ones goodnight as he scanned his newspaper and waited for his coffee. This evening was no different.

He sat in his kitchen with a stack of old Polaroids and a wistful smile. He really would like to get back into photography. The camera in the box in the storage closet hadn’t seen a face or a landscape or a striking combination of patterns and colors in years.

The photographs spread out across the table told the story of a man who had once known joy and the desire to immortalize flowers and sunsets, then slowly changed into who he was now. The last few images were black and white blurry shots of a broken wine glass, one high-heeled shoe on a wooden floor, and mascara stains on a hotel pillowcase. He remembered her name starting with an  _ ‘M’ _ . Or was it a  _ ‘J’ _ ?

He flipped one of the photographs over and smiled.  _ Leslie _ . He had been close. The date below the name was coming up on three years ago. He hadn’t felt the need to remember a single face in three years. He almost wondered how many people had been lost to his memory since he had stopped recording them on these small squares of history.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow. There’s something to think about while you’re falling asleep. We’re on the fast track to disaster now, so buckle your seatbelts, grab a snack, and locate the nearest exit. As always, throw me your ideas and theories. Maybe I’ll like them and put them in somewhere.


	6. I Got Your Picture, I'm Coming With You

The rest of the week slipped by in an instant, but minutes and hours felt like months and years. Virgil couldn’t sleep unless he could hear Roman’s breathing through the vent between their rooms. He was more skittish than usual and every sudden move was a threat. It was like living in a horror game.

He watched Patton avoid Remus like politics and spoil Roman like milk. The evil twin was rarely home, so it was easy to avoid him. Roman stayed in common spaces so he always had a witness or two. Virgil’s routine was largely unaffected. There was no need to change. He already shut himself in his room most of the time and only went downstairs to eat.

Perhaps the worst part of the third night was when Logan said, “We should let him in for dinner.”

Patton just folded his hands and looked away. Roman almost threw something. “Why should we?”

“Because he’s part of this family whether he wants to act like it or not.”

Virgil tried to tune the rest of the debate out, but he couldn’t do that very well when he cared so much about the resolution.

Roman laughed sharply. “He is  _ not _ part of this family. And even if he is, he is twenty damn years old. He doesn’t need to live in this house.”

“Stop. Roman, I know you’re upset but…” Patton sighed and closed his eyes. “But he has nowhere to go. He isn’t like you and he isn’t like Virgil. He needs to be here with us.”

“Don’t baby him! You’re treating him like a kid and he’s taking advantage of you!”

“Roman! You’re not acting any better than he is! Your dad is right. Remus isn’t like any of us. We’ll talk about it later. Right now, you should try to be civil and give him a chance. You too, Virgil.”

“Sorry, Logan. I have to side with Roman. I know what crazy looks like. Remus is crazy.” Virgil never said that word lightly. Janus had used it against him enough to give it a spark of anger even now.

Patton looked ready to cry. “This isn’t getting us anywhere. If you need more time, you can have it. But Remus is going to stay until he either leaves on his own or I die.”

That was the end of that.

Dinner was tense and quiet. No one ate much. Roman was the first to give up. Virgil left a few minutes later. If those three wanted to pretend everything would go back to normal, that was their choice. Virgil wanted no part in it.

* * *

The next day, Roman didn’t go home after work. Instead, he stepped into the little coffee shop two bus stops from the theater and couldn’t help but smile at the cheerful sound of the bell over the door.

The place was empty and quiet except for the bell. He loved this place. The strong smell never failed to hit him like a good song and the white bricks were like old friends.

“I’m coming! Gimme a minute!”

Roman took the seat at the end of the counter. “Take your time! I can wait.”

A moment later, the door to the back room was shut again and the owner, manager, and part-time barista of  _ Wishful Thinking _ was leaning against the counter. “Princey? How have you been, I haven’t seen you since April.”

“Hey, Uncle Remy. Sorry, it’s been so long. Kind of busy lately.”

Remington nodded and propped up his chin on his fist. “Yeah? What brings you here now?”

Roman shrugged. He honestly didn’t know why he was here. Not to ask for money. He didn’t need that.

“Just saying ‘hi’? What’s on your mind, Honey? Where’s your other half and that gremlin?”

His other half and that gremlin were on his mind. Wait. “Which one is the gremlin?”

Remy laughed a little. “Is there a reason it isn’t Virgil?”

“Yeah. Remus is more of a gremlin than Virgil could ever be.” Roman tapped on the counter and shook his head. “I hate him.”

He leaned closer and pushed his hair away from his face. His eyes could probably see right through Roman’s soul and into the dark abyss beyond. “Drama hate, or hate hate?”

“Hate hate.” Roman folded his arms and looked away. “I want him to get out of my house.”

Remy let his hair fall back into his eyes. “That’s a little harsh. What did he do this time?”

Roman bit his lip and tried to ignore the question. “Heard anything interesting lately?”

“Yeah. I heard somebody had a falling out with his twin brother and thinks it’s not important that his favorite uncle knows what happened.”

He shook his head. If he had to relive that moment right here and now, he was going to scream. “You’re not my uncle.”

Remy had no leverage on that one. He was just a family friend who had somehow worked his way to relative status over the years. “Hey now, I’m your uncle when you need money. Why not when you’re fighting with Remus?”

Might as well tell the truth, or the version of the truth that he could assemble when he was upset like this. “Because if I tell you, you’ll try to give me advice. I know the quality of your ‘advice’ and I don’t need it. Not now, not ever.”

“C’mon. I promise I won’t try to fix it. I just want to know what he did that you think was so awful.”

All Roman could do was laugh. There was no way he was telling Remy that his own twin brother had done something that would get him sent to prison if the system was any good. He probably thought Remus had embarrassed him in front of a cute guy or something. “I don’t trust you not to tell everyone.”

He was caught. He knew it was true. Remington couldn’t keep a secret to save his life.

* * *

Remus had left the house at maybe ten, ten-fifteen at the latest. He rang the bell he had rung every July for three years. This made four.

A minute later, he heard the lock click and the door opened. Janus tipped his head to one side and raised an eyebrow. “Good eve- morning. Good morning, Remus. You’re early this year.”

“Yeah.” Remus shifted his weight and shrugged. “They don’t want me over there. Figured I’d ask if you have any work for me over here yet.”

Janus put on the cold smile he practically lived in. “I do, actually. It’s a safe bet to assume I have something for you to do anytime after the end of April. I can show you what I need doing right now if you have time.”

The backyard was just as pristine and slightly off as the front. There were more bronze snakes and flowers creeping up the fence. The only thing that wasn’t polished and perfect was the heavily-weeded patch of dirt in the corner. Janus waved a hand over to it from the shade of the house. “You can start with the weeds. When you finish, I’ll need at least half the area dug as deep as you can go without disturbing anything that’s down there. What was the depth last year? Four feet?”

Remus stuck his thumbs in his pockets and nodded. This was going to be a long summer. The next hour and a half was hot and humid and altogether suffocating, but at least it was away from all the high tension and short tempers. It didn’t hurt that Janus spent the whole time in a chair in the shade with a glass of wine.

It was nice to get his hands dirty again. The work was mindless and repetitive, which let his mind wander. It wasn’t long before he was thinking about what Logan had said last night. He had expected Remus to just  _ know  _ whether something was ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ before he did it. How was he supposed to do that? Every time Patton had tried to tell him something was ‘wrong’ when he was a kid, Remus had either stolen something or insulted someone. This didn’t fit into either of those types of ‘wrong’ from where he stood. Did Logan just have a broader definition of ‘wrong’ than Patton did? “Is there even a difference?”

“A difference between what?”

Remus sat back on his heels and looked at Janus. He had said that out loud? Might as well get another opinion. “Between right and wrong.”

Janus leaned back in his chair and took a sip of wine as he thought. “Hmm… not really. I’ve always seen good and evil as arbitrary labels to keep moralistic fools in line. If there is a difference, it’s a blurred line at best.”

That answered a few of his questions, but not all of them. He had never heard someone so blatantly contradict what Patton and Logan said. Maybe Janus would understand him. “So you’re saying it’s fine to do anything you want, as long as you don’t hurt anyone else?”

“Who put  _ that _ idea in your head?” Janus sat up straight, a smile tugging at his lips. “Do what you want. Who gives a damn about anyone else? If somebody gets hurt, it’s either fate or karma and I don’t believe in karma. Why do you think you’re pulling weeds right now?”

Remus looked back at his work. He hadn’t really thought about that. Now it was less about himself and more about curiosity. “Why did you start doing this?”

Janus’s laugh was soft and genuine. “Oh, that’s a long story that I don’t much care to remember. I didn’t plan on making a hobby out of it if that’s what you’re asking.”

He shifted himself around to sit in the dirt and studied Janus for a moment. “Okay. Why are you still doing this?”

“For the thrill. For the artistry. Because I can.” He waved a hand dismissively and watched Remus’s eyes. “Why do you still help me after all this time?”

“Because it’s something to do.” Remus kept his other answer to himself. He was sure it could easily be another reason Janus kept up his hobby, but he didn’t need to say it out loud.  _ To show off. To feel sexy. _

Janus let himself smile and set his wineglass down. “See? You and I are a lot alike. You understand me. It’s getting late, why don’t you take a break?”

Remus was far from exhausted, but he couldn’t very well argue. He stood up and stretched his back, wincing at the series of pops and cracks. It hadn’t been that long, had it? He wasn’t old enough to say he was too old for this.

“Would you like to come inside for a moment? I have something that might interest you.” Janus stood and picked up his wine glass. “If you have time, of course.”

They went into the house and Janus sat Remus at the kitchen table. He returned a moment later with a white box that he set on the table. “I have to warn you, some of these are pretty graphic. They’re not organized. You can put them in order if you’d like.”

Remus took the lid off the box and pulled the first Polaroid out of the middle row. A young woman lay on a messy bed, wrists bound to the slats of the headboard with yellow ribbon. She was covered only by a gag over her mouth and nose. Her body was twisted in a way that exaggerated every curve and hid any flaws, but the thing Remus couldn’t look away from was her eyes. Round, wet, fearful things the color of warm honey. She looked like Roman had when Remus… “Who was this?”

Janus didn’t turn from where he was filling his wine glass for a second time. “What’s the name on the back?”

“Rachel W.”

“Ah… yes. We were living together. She discovered my habit and threatened to tell the police. It was more business than pleasure.”

Remus took the next photograph from the box. This one was hauntingly artistic and self-indulgent. The young man was painted with cuts and bruises and there was a single red rose in his mouth, as though it had grown from his throat.

Janus put a hand on Remus’s shoulder and took a sip of wine. “Mmm… that was more recent. He had given me that flower and told me he loved me. A pretty little charmer, he was. I think he really did love me.”

Remus glanced at the clock on the stove. It was almost noon. “I should get back to work, shouldn’t I?”

“No. It’s late. I should be going to bed and the day is only going to get hotter. Clean up and go home. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

* * *

All week Patton had been keeping himself busy with laundry, cleaning, cooking, gardening, and anything else he could think of. He hadn’t said a word about Janus to Logan. Everything was  _ fine _ . Even if Patton had been easy to sway when he was younger, which he hadn’t, he was married. He had been married for eleven years. He had been a father for ten. He couldn’t afford to ruin that by making Logan think something that wasn’t true. It wasn’t that he didn’t love Logan with everything he had to offer, it was just… every time he thought about Janus…

“Patton? Are you busy?”

“No.” He was halfway through a pile of laundry that he didn’t want to let wrinkle, but he couldn’t turn his husband away at such a fragile time in their relationship.

Logan pulled a sock out of the pile and then another, slowly collecting them into their own corner. “I just want to ask about what exactly Remus did to Roman.”

“Nothing. He did touch him, but… I don’t think he got any farther than that, though. I don’t think anything dangerous happened if that’s what you’re asking.”

“I see.” Logan’s fingers brushed Patton’s hand and he let himself hold it. “I’m so sorry I wasn’t here. I love you more than anything.”

Patton pulled away and went back to folding shirts. “I love you, too.” He desperately wanted to say that he loved Logan more than anyone, but was that true? Did he really love Logan more than he liked the idea of… of Janus?

“You’re distracted. What’s on your mind?”

He couldn’t lie, so he searched for something else that could have been bothering him all this time. What he landed on was true and probably would have consumed him like this if he had given it the chance. “When Remus threatened me… it… it turned me on.”

* * *

Logan put a sock down and pressed his lips together. He had known this about Patton for as long as they had been married. He had never thought it could be used against him. “Patton… it’s okay. I know you. I know what he said was exactly what you’ve always wanted me to say. Do you think this will make me love you less?”

He didn’t even glance up from his work. “No. I know you would never hold it against me. It’s not my fault.”

“That’s right. If you ever need to talk about it or even if you just want me to distract you for a while, I’m always here.” Logan smiled and started to fold the socks together in pairs. “I always want to help you.”

Patton took a shaky breath. “Mmhmm. I know. It’s fine. You don’t have to worry about me… running off with  some attractive young…”

The rest of what he said was lost to a slurred whisper. “What are you talking about?”

“Nothing. Is Roman home yet?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hmm... The plot thickens. I have a few directions I could take this. Throw me your worst, most messed up ideas with no regard for consistency or morality. I'll take anything as long as it's twisted and disturbing in some way. I'll also accept a happy ending with a redemption for everyone and anything in between. All I ask is that you give me a path to take before I have to pick one myself. Nothing I come up with will be either as wholesome or as depraved as what I know you can offer me.


	7. And I've Waited For So Long

It took a few days to clear all the weeds, but Remus could blame that on the short, early hours. He wasn’t used to getting up before nine, but Janus had a weird sleep schedule and wasn’t willing to change it. At least it wasn’t as hot in the mornings.

Most days, Janus would stop him at eleven thirty or so and let him look through the Polaroids for a while. Remus would ask questions and get answers that made sense to him. There was one question he had never voiced. One question that he had to save until he was sure Janus would understand.

The following Wednesday, he could start digging. The familiar feeling of dirt and sweat in his clothes was almost welcome after the dull ache of pulling weeds. At least now he had an excuse to pull his shirt off halfway through the first day and let the sun work its magic on the skin of his back. He had an excuse to invite Janus to watch him closer.

And watch him closer Janus did. He sat in his chair with his wine and his hat and his gloves. And his eyes on Remus’s arms and shoulders. At eleven ten, he caved. “Take a break. Come here.”

Remus stuck the shovel into the ground and brushed his hands off on his jeans. He crossed the grass and came to a halt at Janus’s side, a loose smile creeping onto his face. “Yes, sir.”

Janus ran his tongue over his lips and tipped his head to the side. He traced the rim of his wine glass with one yellow gloved finger as he studied Remus’s face. “Where in the world have my manners gone? You’ve been working hard out here for almost a week, and I haven’t had the basic courtesy to offer you something to drink.”

A laugh escaped Remus’s lips, and he raked his hair out of his face. “You’re too good to me. I couldn’t hold that against you.”

“Thank you. You’re sweet, but I must insist on doing  _ something _ for you.”

Before he could say anything else, Remus was standing in Janus’s dim, warm kitchen with a glass of wine and absolutely no reason not to drink it other than that he preferred whiskey. But beggars can’t be choosers. It wasn't bad for wine. “I have a question.”

“Oh?” Janus took a taste from his glass and leaned back against the counter. His hat and gloves sat next to him. “What about?”

He tried to organize his tangle of confusion into a concise question. “What… would you do… if you really liked someone and you told them so, but they got mad at you and never wanted to talk to you again?”

“Me, personally?” He looked up at the ceiling as if it had the answer written on it. “It depends on how I love them. If it’s just a passing interest, let it go. If this is the strongest passion I’ve known in years, then it’s no question that I would do everything I could to show them what they meant to me. Chances are, they only turned me down because they didn’t think I would be faithful. Prove them wrong.”

That was a pretty good answer. It made sense, but… “What if that person turned you down because he thinks that it would be wrong to have a relationship with you?”

Janus searched Remus’s eyes for a moment. “Who is this man? What does he have that you can’t find in someone else?”

“No one else is my twin.”

“Ah.” Janus took a sip of wine. “Blood relatives can be tricky, but they’re sometimes the most rewarding. Twins, though… that’s an entirely different kind of taboo.”

“We used to be identical until he got sick of people mixing us up all the time.” Remus shifted his weight and laughed a little. “Now he’s sick of me having a mustache. He says it makes me look like a cartoon villain.”

“It does.” Janus smiled behind his wine glass, and it showed in his eyes. “I like it. Nothing wrong with looking a little dangerous.”

“You think?”

Janus stepped closer and didn’t look up from Remus’s hands, the smile slowly turning into something of a smirk. “Danger, mystery, a touch of innocent youth… what more could a man want?”

Remus scraped his hair back away from his face. Janus’s fingers brushed the back of his hand, and Remus took a breath. His shirt lay forgotten in the grass outside. “You tell me.”

“Mmmm… not much. Hard work, some low lighting, maybe a little bare skin just to tease...”

They were a hair’s breadth apart. Remus reached out to find the counter and set his glass down as he closed his eyes. “I think I can manage that muhuh-mmmh…”

Janus pulled back and traced Remus’s spine with his fingers. He put a second kiss on his lips and then third, a fourth, maybe a couple more for good measure.

After around six, Remus started to kiss back and tried to hold onto one long enough to make it count.

Janus’s fingers found their way into Remus’s hair, and Remus’s hands settled for sliding around Janus’s hips. It was like nothing Remus had ever experienced. Every stolen kiss, every half-drunk makeout session, every bite on every shoulder had been nothing but a little kid begging for attention. What was happening now was a man who knew what he was doing, offering him a small taste of the passion he had been chasing for years. The tongue against his teeth had years of experience and figured out within seconds how to make him need more of whatever Janus was giving him.

They stood like that for a long moment before Janus broke off and took a step back. He turned his face away but didn’t take his eye off Remus. “It’s getting late. I should be in bed.”

“All by yourself?” Remus’s mouth was dry, and his shoulders ached. It was hard to breathe without Janus’s chest against his own. He couldn’t think. He had no idea what he might do if Janus told him to go home. All he knew was that he had needed someone to bite his neck and hold him down for too long.

A smile crawled across Janus’s lips. He tipped Remus’s chin up with one delicate finger as he turned to walk away. “Did you have another suggestion?”

* * *

Remus was two and a half hours late coming home, and Roman loved every minute of it. When the front door finally did open, and the local idiot stumbled into the house, Roman was almost asleep on the couch. His eyes shot open, and the only thought that ran through his head was, “Remus, you’d better be Virgil or Patton, or I’m going to stab you in the throat!”

“Uhhh… Y _ eah _ … I’m Virgil?” Remus peeked into the living room, looking like he had woken up from being buried alive three minutes ago. His jeans were full of dirt, and his shirt was who-knows-where. His chest was uncomfortable pale compared to his tan arms. His hair looked like the aftermath of a hurricane, and his expression was still somewhere between ‘no, father,’ and ‘yes, daddy.’

Roman shifted himself around to a position that was both sitting up and still lying down. “What happened to you? And what do you want from me?”

If Remus felt an ounce of shame, he didn’t show it. “None of your business. I... this is embarrassing… I just want to tell you I’m sorry.”

“Bullshit.” Roman sat up and pressed himself into the corner of the couch. “Sorry for what?”

“Sorry, I haven’t been around.” Remus collapsed onto the other end of the couch and turned to face Roman, pulling his leg up onto the middle cushion. “I like spending time with you, and I guess I’ve just been shutting you out lately.”

Roman couldn’t hold back a laugh, and he didn’t want to. “Uh, good? Leave. I would rather die than spend an hour in the same room as you. I used to think you were just annoying. Now I know you’re also a creep and a psychopath.”

“Princey, I said I was sorry.”

“I am not your prince, and you will never be mine. Don’t try to take what isn’t yours. Liars and thieves only get happy endings after they change.”

Remus blinked, dumbfounded. “But… Roman… it isn’t like we haven’t shared anything before.”

“What?”

“We’re twins. There’s no real sense of ‘mine’ or ‘yours’ between us; it’s just kind of a vague ‘ours.’ Why should this be any different? If I hold your arm, it’s the same as holding my own arm. I don’t see why you’re mad at me.”

Roman had heard enough. He stood and shook his head. “You’re disgusting. Leave me the hell alone.”

Remus twisted around to watch him leave. “What did I say?”

* * *

Janus went through his ‘morning’ routine as though nothing out of the ordinary had happened. With the life he had lived up to this point, nothing terribly unnatural  _ had _ happened. The only thing that wasn’t entirely normal to him was the shirt still abandoned in the dirt behind the house.

He fought back a smile as he went out to pick it up. He could return it when Remus came by at ten, but he had been meaning to make his way across the street to see how Patton was weathering this storm of his. The last time they had spoken, the poor man had seemed devastatingly lonely.

As soon as it was a reasonable time of day for the general populace, Janus rang the bell and stepped back to wait for whoever was brave enough to answer the door in this tumultuous time. Perhaps this had been a brash idea, and he should go home. Remus would have been at his door in an hour at most. ‘Your son left his shirt in my garden’ would have been a suspicious excuse regardless of the recent events, and it could be borderline dangerous after whatever Remus had done when he had gone home.

The door opened a crack and, upon recognizing Janus, Patton pressed his lips together and didn’t make eye contact. “What are you doing here? What do you want?”

“I only wanted to drop in to see how you were holding up. I know things have been crazy lately, and you probably have a lot to think about right now. May I come in for a moment?”

Patton looked somewhat confused and disconnected. He shook his head a little and opened the door wider. “You’re here about Remus, aren’t you? I’m sorry if he’s given you any trouble. We’re doing our best to keep him under control.”

Janus removed his hat and gloves as he stepped into the perfect little home. It was everything America had wanted to be back in nineteen fifty: cozy and bright with everything in its place. “You have a beautiful home. Very open and honest.”

“Thank you.” Patton still didn’t look at Janus.

A few minutes later, they were in the living room, and Janus was scanning the wilderness of photographs on the shelves. These told a very different story from his own collection. The faces smiled, and the same faces appeared at least once in every five pictures. There were the classic milestones, of course: high school graduations, a handful of significant birthdays, and what looked to be a first piano lesson. Janus paused and almost reached out to touch the frame around a young boy, maybe fifteen years old. The eyes glowed with pride, and he held a rather bland watercolor painting of a bird in his hands. The work itself hung on the wall just above the photograph. He recognized the eyes as belonging to one of the twins, but it would be rude to assume anything beyond that. “Who is this?”

Patton smiled for the first time that morning. He looked close to tears. “That’s Remus. I almost forgot about that… He hasn’t painted in years, at least, not that he’s shown me.”

“Oh?” Janus turned his attention to the man beside him. “Why not?”

“I don’t know.” Patton wrung his hands together and sighed. “He just… stopped one day. I guess he’s moved on. Roman still draws and sings, and he works with the community theater when he can, but Remus… I’m not sure if he even remembers how much he used to love the worlds he painted.”

Janus supposed that this was when anyone else might feel a pinch of sadness and sorrow. He pressed his lips together and nodded. He looked at Patton tenderly, almost reverently for fear of breaking him and spilling his tears all over the soft white carpet. “Are you alright?”

Patton took a breath and ran a thumb under his eye. “Yeah. I guess I just… I just don’t want to lose them.”

Whatever is going on in this house is much deeper than Remus falling in love with his brother. Janus can taste the ongoing battles in the air. This family is a powder keg, and Remus’s attraction is a lit fuse. “I understand that. I’ve lost a few loved ones over the years. All you can do is cherish them while they’re here, and it looks like you’ve been doing a beautiful job of that if these pictures are anything to go on.”

“You’re right. They aren’t kids anymore. I have to let them grow up eventually.”

Janus subtly touched his fingers to the back of Patton’s hand. “Are you afraid you’ll be lonely without them?”

That made Patton smile again. “Of course not. I’ll always have Logan.”

Ah, yes… the husband. That could complicate things. “Oh, I didn’t mean to imply otherwise, only that I’ve spent my fair share of time alone in a big house waiting for someone to come home from work.”

Patton perched on the edge of the couch and looked away from Janus. He bit his lip and tried to hide the pink on his cheeks. “I’m sure I’ll find something to keep me busy.”

Janus sat next to him and brushed his fingers over Patton’s hand again. He tried to add some warmth to his smile. “That shouldn’t be too hard. A sweet, pretty young man like you must be all sorts of talented and smart.”

“You’re too kind. Really.” Patton bit his lip and pulled his hand away. “I’m flattered, but I have to say the only thing I’ve ever really been good at is cooking…”

“That can’t be true.” Janus turns his body to face Patton and pulls his knee up onto the couch, effectively opening the space between his legs. “I’m sure there are at least a few other things you’re amazing at.”

The pink on his cheeks was unavoidable now, and he refused to even look in Janus’s direction. “Stop. Don’t say that.”

Janus only smiled and put his fingers into Patton’s hand. “Patton… I’m only telling the truth. What would you like me to say instead?”

They both knew what he wanted. He wanted to be brave enough to tell Janus to leave him alone. He wanted to have the strength to want Janus to go. He couldn’t. He closed his eyes and took a slow breath. “I’m sorry I lost my temper. You are welcome to say what you believe. It’s a free country, after all.”

Janus ran his thumb over the back of the delicate hand in his own. He leaned back against the armrest and arched his spine the tiniest bit. If that was Patton losing his temper, then he was timider and more mild-mannered than Janus had thought. Maybe there was still an easy way to do this. “Thank you. I only meant to offer a compliment to a man who deserves every affection in the world.”

Patton took a shaky breath and chanced a glance at Janus. He looked away a second later, and his cheeks flushed a deeper pink. He very gently, very slowly squeezed Janus’s hand. “You’re too kind.”

The smile on Janus’s lips split open to show his teeth. He brought Patton’s hand up and placed the softest of kisses on it. “It’s true. You’re absolutely stunning, and I could listen to you forever. I would simply die if I had to think of you alone all day every day until your husband came home…”

He looked afraid, but not of Janus. He closed his eyes at the kiss and swallowed hard. “He’s always home before dinner. He never leaves me waiting.”

Janus chanced a second kiss on Patton’s hand, this one closer to his wrist. “That’s an awfully long time from now…”

“It is.” Patton opened his eyes and finally met Janus’s gaze. “But I don’t mind. I always have something to do around here. Laundry… cooking… gardening…”

“That sounds terribly boring. Doesn’t it ever get old?” Janus put a third kiss just above Patton’s wrist. “Do you ever want to change it up a little?”

Patton’s lips parted, and he started to lean a little closer, still watching Janus’s face. “...Sometimes… sometimes I think I would like that…”

Janus dropped his foot to the floor so he could slowly move closer. The space between them shrank to a matter of inches. “I would be happy to help.”

It took a second, but Patton reached up and brushed his fingers over Janus’s cheek. His eyes slid closed.

The space between them was nothing more than an afterthought when Janus’s hand found the back of Patton’s neck.

Just before it was too late, Patton pushed back and turned away. “I’m sorry. You should go.”

Janus touched Patton’s ankle with his own. “Have you changed your mind?”

“I’ve come to my senses. And so should you. Whatever you’re trying to do isn’t going to work.”

“I apologize. I wasn’t trying to do anything. Call it a misinterpreted wish if you will. I saw that you seemed lonely, and I wanted to know if there was anything I could do.”

Patton shook his head. “Thank you for your concern, but I am happy the way things are.”

“Of course, of course. I never meant to offend.”

“Hey, Patton, are you…?”

Janus and Patton both turned to the door. A young man in a purple and black jacket stood in the doorway. He had his hands in his pockets and his hair in his eyes. Janus would recognize the chipped shoulder and skinny legs anywhere. “Virgil?”

* * *

Virgil would recognize the stupid hat and snakelike eyes anywhere. “Janus?”

Patton stood and glanced between the two, confused. “Do… you two know each other from somewhere?”

Janus opened his mouth to spit some insult disguised as a polite comment, but Virgil cut him off. “Why is he here?”

“I was merely checking to see if there was anything I could do to help. No need to get defensive.”

Virgil laughed sharply. He had heard Janus give weak excuses before, but this wasn’t even believable. “Nobody needs your ‘help’ asshole. Get out of my house and stay away from my family.”

Patton finally put together a specific question. “Virgil, is there something wrong?”

Janus’s fingers touched Patton’s arm. “The poor boy must be forgiven. When we knew each other before, he convinced himself that I was trying to hurt him and that I was some kind of serial killer.”

“Shut up! You  _ know _ that’s not true! Don’t talk about me like I’m not here!” Virgil could feel the anger and fear boiling in his chest, and it was getting hard to breathe. He wanted to cry. Virgil wanted to see Janus dead and feel his cold, lifeless skin just to make sure he was gone before they buried his body. He wanted him to get out of his living room and away from his family. “He’s dangerous, Patton. Get him out.”

Before Patton could respond, Janus dropped the folded piece of fabric in his hand onto the couch and pulled his gloves over his hands. “It’s been nice, but I can see when I’m not wanted. I only came to return the shirt your son left in my garden and ask how you were. Good day.”

Virgil stepped aside to let Janus leave, and as soon as he heard the front door shut, he took his hands out of his pockets and brushed the hair away from his face. “Are you okay?”

Patton nodded and collapsed back onto the couch. “I’m fine, Virgil.”

He crossed the room and pulled a pillow off the couch before sitting cross-legged on the floor and squashing the pillow down between his arms and chest. “What did he want?”

“He just wanted to see how I was doing.” Patton rested his wrists on his knees. “He didn’t hurt me if that’s what you’re asking.”

“Then why do you look like you’ve been crying? What did he do to you?” Virgil hugged the pillow tighter and didn’t break eye-contact. “I know him. You can’t trust a word he says, and you can’t let him think he can control you.”

Patton took a shaky breath. He tried to smile. “What did you want to ask me?”

No. Virgil closed his eyes. He wasn’t ready to change the subject. “I was going to ask who you were talking to in here. Now I know. Please tell me what he said to you.” He had heard these words from Logan so many times he could almost recite them from memory. “I want to be here for you and help you through whatever this is. Nothing you’re thinking will make me love you less. I want to be part of your family.”

Patton blinked a few times, and his shoulders sank. “Oh, Virgil… it’s nothing you need to worry about right now. I’m just tired. I haven’t been sleeping well.”

Virgil looked up and shook his head. “I didn’t need you to justify your reaction. I want you to trust that I can handle whatever he did or said, even if I might think it’s stupid. I swear I won’t laugh.”

“You’re sweet… really. I’m okay. We were just talking about how Remus used to paint. You know how I am. Especially with all this...”

He knew that wasn’t all of it, but if Patton thought it was a good enough answer, then it was. Virgil rose to his feet and reached out a hand to help Patton up. “I know, Dad. I love you.”

Patton’s arms were around Virgil before either of them knew it, but he pulled back a second later. “I’m sorry. I should have asked.”

Virgil, who hadn’t accepted a surprise hug in his life, smiled and opened his arms again. “I’ll let it slide this time.” The storm in his chest quieted down a little. He focused on the feeling of being the anchor instead of the ship. He never had to hold anyone like this. He was always the one who was scared and lost and hurt. It was nice to be able to return the favor.

* * *

Nothing stuck out to Logan as strange, but the energy in the kitchen was just a little to the left of normal. Patton stood at the stove with a skillet of half-cooked chicken. The air smelled sweet and spicy, and the sound of hot oil drowned out the silence. Logan knocked on the cupboard door over the sink. “May I come in?”

Patton glanced up and smiled before reaching for Logan’s hand. “I’m always open.”

Logan very gently placed his other hand on Patton’s back and pulled himself a little closer. Patton’s shirt was more subtly elegant than anything Logan had seen him in for a long time. He smelled like citrus and something spicy. Maybe ginger. “You look nice. What’s the occasion?”

“Nothing special.” Patton hastily turned to kiss Logan as if he had almost forgotten. He took a long moment to pull away again like he was afraid Logan might be upset. “I love you.”

All Logan could do was kiss back and then search Patton’s wide, honey-brown eyes. They reminded him of Virgil: full of doubt and fading hope that Logan wasn’t mad. He hated it. He hated it when his son looked at him like that, and he hated it when his husband looked at him like that. “I love you too. Is something wrong?”

Patton shook his head and went back to the chicken. He switched his spatula to his other hand so he could reach back and move the fingers on his back to his hip. “No. Everything is fine. Why do you ask?”

Logan pulled his hand away from Patton’s body and folded it with the other one. “What happened today? Tell me everything. I want to listen.”

“Virgil called me Dad.” Patton’s smile was a distant lighthouse in a hurricane. “He let me hug him.”

That was the best news Logan had heard in a long time. Virgil hadn’t called them anything but their names for as long as he had lived under their roof. While Logan was thrilled to learn that his son had taken this step, he had to wonder what kind of tragedy had happened to make him want or need Patton to be his dad instead of just his adult supervisor. “That’s great. I’m proud of him. I’m proud of both of you. Are you sure nothing is wrong?”

“Yeah. I’m sure. Why do you think something has to be wrong for me to want to look nice for you?”

“Because I know you. You’ve never cared about that. You know I’ve never cared. If you don’t want to tell me, it’s fine. I still love you.”

* * *

Patton sat in the back of the room with his hands folded and his eyes on another planet. He hadn’t been inside a church since before he had married Logan. Between the dangerous and uncomfortable thoughts of Remus and ideas about Janus, he needed to give this whole religion thing another chance.

He didn’t listen to a single word. He realized he was crying halfway through the service. He hadn’t even woken Logan to tell him where he was going. He was a terrible husband, and he didn’t belong here. There was a reason he had left when he got married. He had every right to just stand up and walk away. He stood up and walked away. He was quiet and careful not to draw attention to himself, but he couldn’t stay there.

The lobby was empty, as most church lobby’s should be in the middle of a Sunday morning service. Patton stood near the wall, trying to erase any evidence of his tears.

“I saw you leave.” The voice that broke the silence was soft and bright like an orange. The man it belonged to was just as soft and bright. “Is everything okay?”

He had known leaving would be more dangerous than staying. “I’m sorry, I just-”

“Oh, no, I didn’t mean to-”

“It’s nothing, really-”

The man cut off the tangle of clumsy apologies with a quiet laugh and a shake of his head. “You haven’t don’t anything wrong. I saw you slip out, and I just wondered if there was something you wanted to talk about.”

Patton was trapped. He couldn’t say any of the things that were on his mind. Everything made him either an awful husband, a horrible father or just a hell-bound gay. “It’s nothing.”

“There’s always something.” The man kept his voice low, almost as if speaking to a frightened animal. “Even if it’s nothing to the rest of the world, it matters to you.”

He nodded. His eyes stung, and he was sure his face was red and ugly as sin. He took a deep breath. “It’s my son. He… needs help.”

The man pressed his lips together and adjusted his glasses. “We all need help.”

Patton tried to smile. “Lord knows we do. I should have seen this earlier… I should have done something.”

“Do you feel comfortable telling me what your son needs help with?” He leaned against the wall and folded his arms across his chest.

“I’d rather not.” Patton’s automatic defense scared even him a little. He shook his head. “Well… This is going to sound cliche, but he isn’t like other boys.” Once he’s started, he can’t seem to stop. It’s nice to tell someone he knows he probably won’t see again in his life. “My partner and I adopted him when he was ten, and this is the first time he’s ever done something like this… I don’t know what happened. He’s usually not a bad kid, but he’s been acting up in dangerous ways, and his brothers are afraid to be alone with him.”

The man nodded and didn’t break eye contact. He listened attentively and receptively. “Have you reached out to a licensed psychiatrist? I’m in no position to make a diagnosis, but it sounds like your son could benefit from therapy. How old is he? If You don’t mind my asking.”

“He’s out of school. I had hoped he would be in college by now.”

“It may not be what you’re looking for or what you need, but please take this. Even if you don’t call, I’ll feel better knowing you have at least one resource. There are thousands of people out there who can help you. You don’t have to face this alone, and neither does your son.”

Patton blinked a few times, trying to focus on the card that appeared in his hand. He wasn’t sure how to feel or what to say, but he knew he had to say something. “Thank you so much. It means a lot to me.”

“And if you ever need someone to talk to yourself, I can refer you to a wide range of good people. Things like this are rather common, but that doesn’t mean it should go untreated.” The man, Doctor Emile Picani, according to the card, shifted his weight onto his feet and offered his hand to Patton. “God bless you.”

Patton took the hand and tried to smile. “Same to you. I should be going…” He almost said that he didn’t want to keep his husband waiting, but he caught himself just in time. And just like that, he was gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow. This is a long one. Guess that's what I get for skipping a week huh? Anyway, I hope you're still enjoying these shenanigans as much as I am. If you have anything you want to see happen (or not happen) let me know. This is the part where things start getting nasty, one way or another. I'm talking creepy stalker phone calls, blood, drugs, and other stuff I won't say because spoilers. We're about to get a lot more warning tags up in here and I want your ideas.


	8. And As It Fell, You Rose To Claim It

Remus had slept in the garage every night since this whole mess started. From a series of tests a few years ago, he knew he could get into his room from the garage if the window were open. Remus also knew that the lock was broken and only took a little convincing to let him in. He hadn’t come in this way in a long time, but he still remembered how to do this.

He knelt on the still-warm roof in the humid night air and felt the wind and the bright moon on his sun-baked back. It was too hot for anything but a pair of shorts and the silver chain Roman had given him. He usually kept it tucked under his shirt, but that wasn’t an option at the moment.

The window slid open, and the screen didn’t provide much of a challenge. When the cold air from inside the room hit Remus’s face, he took a slow breath and rose to his feet. He pulled himself up into the window and sat on the edge with his feet hanging down the wall outside.

Just inside, a young prince lay under a single sheet. His chest moved the sheet, like swells on the ocean. His eyelids shifted as if he was scanning something, and his dark lashes brushed against his skin. The color of his cheeks matched his soft, slightly parted lips.

Something inside of Remus slowed down as he looked at the scene before him. He leaned his back against the edge of the windowsill and felt a sense of calm that he hadn’t expected. He had been craving this, and it felt good to give in.

Roman shifted, and the motion caught Remus’s attention as much as it caught his breath. His hair was a mess, and every little movement changed the way the moonlight hit his face. The image of Roman asleep and alone was satisfying and frustrating in all the best ways.

Remus didn’t move. He barely breathed. Remus felt like a Tim Burton version of Peter Pan, and his ‘Wendy’ was the prettiest thing in the world. He wasn’t afraid of waking his precious brother, only of missing a moment with him. Remus had always been the lighter sleeper of the two. He knew what he could and couldn’t do so that Roman would continue to sleep peacefully.

The only sounds were of Roman’s quiet, slow breathing and the rustle of the wind through the trees in the backyard. After a minute or two, Roman rolled over to lie on his other side and mumbled something under his breath.

That was all it took to make Remus bite his lip and close his eyes. He couldn’t imagine not being with Roman forever, and he could barely handle not being in bed with him now. His chest hurt, and the pressure was only building the longer he stayed.

It was risky, but he reached down, and the backs of his fingers brushed Roman’s cheek. The skin was warm and soft, like fresh bread. Remus’s fingers traced their way down to the corner of Roman’s jaw. He was practically perfect in every way. If only he knew that…

He reached for his pocket and pulled out his phone. Roman was beautiful when he was awake, and he was mesmerizing when he was asleep. Even if it was worth a thousand words, one picture could never do him justice. He was worth at least ten. Remus hadn’t thought about composition in a long time, and when he had, it was in the context of painting. It was like riding a bike. No one can truly forget how to take decent pictures, especially with such a fascinating subject. The lighting was low enough to be dramatic but bright enough to see what was happening.

Roman was built to be photographed. It was almost romantic, sitting in his window with the moon illuminating his face. It was like a movie. The scene was just part of the montage of slowly falling in love and sneaking out back doors and stealing kisses and watching the sunset and stripping each other’s shirts off on the beach.

Remus ran his fingers through the sleeping prince’s hair one last time before slipping away and shutting the window. He should get some sleep himself.

* * *

The morning was as uneventful as Roman could expect it to be. He felt almost good about the day and what it would bring. He showered and went downstairs with his hair still wet because he could. Exactly one thing wasn’t what it usually was on a Sunday morning. Patton wasn’t in the kitchen. Virgil was.

“Hey, V, where’s Dad?”

Virgil looked up from the egg he was frying and shrugged. “Don’t sneak up on me like that. You know you two sound the same when I’m not paying attention. I don’t know where Patton is. I’ve only been awake for fifteen minutes.”

Roman laughed and leaned against the counter. “Classic. Just like him to run off in a time of crisis.”

He had meant it as a joke, but Virgil’s grip on the spatula tightened. “Don’t say that. He has every right to get out of this damn house every once in a while.”

“Sorry.” Roman sighed, and the kitchen fell back into silence. “I didn’t mean to imply anything.”

The silence shambled on and filled the better part of ten minutes. Virgil slid his egg onto a plate and found a fork. The patch of sunlight crept down the wall. A car drove by outside. Roman tapped out the rhythm of ‘ _ Revenge Party’ _ on the counter. Time passed. A second car drove by.

He couldn’t take it. “A party that ends with somebody sad and alone.”

Virgil caved. “And ugly crying.”

“I’m bored.”

Not for long. Roman’s phone buzzed, and he pulled it out to see who needed him. ‘The Duke’ had texted him for the first time in weeks. He hated it. Roman hated it because all it said without opening it was ‘attachment: one image.’ Did he want to know what it was? No. Did he open it? Yes. Was it what he expected? No.

Virgil looked up when he saw the expression on Roman’s face. “Are you okay? What is it?”

“Nothing.” Roman swallowed hard. The lie was bitter and dry. He stuck his phone back in his pocket and tried to erase the image from his head. He couldn’t see anything but the light illuminating the face of a young man, asleep in his bed, blissfully unaware that his twin brother was watching him and taking pictures.

Fifteen minutes later, Roman was on the couch in the living room when it happened again. A single image from Remus, of Roman sleeping.

By the time Patton came home, Remus had sent him eight pictures. Roman had stopped looking at them after the third one, but he was sure none of them varied from the template. The scariest part was that Roman knew exactly how Remus had gotten in through the window. He used to sneak in and out almost every night and Roman would leave the light on for him.

He knew Remus was capable of doing it again. There was nothing Roman could do to stop him should he decide to do anything more than watch. He could fix the lock and tape the screen in place, but that would only slow him down. He couldn’t do anything anymore.

At least Patton got back before Remus was done working in Janus’s garden.

* * *

“Morning, Dad. Where have you been?”

Patton set his shoes in their place and didn’t look at Roman. “Good morning.”

Roman shifted uncomfortably but didn’t press the issue. He said something about Remus and wanting to block his number or something, but Patton wasn’t listening. He was too busy with his thoughts.

He went upstairs to change. The stiff, unforgiving smell of every Sunday of his childhood was in his clothes. He needed to forget about it. He didn’t know why he had thought it would help. All it did was make him feel worse for what happened yesterday with Janus. It wasn’t anyone’s fault but Patton’s. He loved Logan and it wasn’t like there was any reason not to love him.

Logan was kind and understanding, he always knew what Patton needed. He was as strong and capable a man as anyone could want and he loved his family. Patton wasn’t a superficial person, but it didn’t hurt that Logan was handsome as heck and knew every different way to make Patton smile.

Like glancing up from the book he was reading on the bed and tipping his head back. “Good morning. You look nice.”

Patton sat on the edge of the bed and leaned over to kiss Logan. It burned.

“Where were you this morning?”

He didn’t keep secrets from Logan. “I went to church.”

Logan reached for his hand. “I didn’t know you still believed in that.”

“I don’t.” If he did, he would tell Logan about Janus. He would take the risk that Logan would leave him because he wanted to be honest. He would care more about telling Logan the truth than about making Logan like him. “I just thought I should be there.”

Logan nodded. “You’re under a lot of stress. I’m so sorry I can’t be here with you all the time. I don’t want you to feel like you’re alone.”

Patton closed his eyes and snuggled up to Logan’s side, resting his head on his husband’s shoulder. “I know. Don’t feel bad about leaving. You have to. I couldn’t ask you to stay here, especially with everything going on.”

They sat in silence for a minute. It was torture to hold Logan’s hand and listen to his heartbeat when all he could think about was the black hole in his stomach. He could still feel Janus’s fingers in his palm and hear the echoes of his sweet words. His smile was cold and seductive and even the way he dressed was the specific brand of mysterious and sexy one can only find in film noir these days. “I love you, Logan.”

“I love you, too.” He pulled Patton’s hand up to his lips and kissed it a few times. “You mean the world to me.”

He couldn’t do this. He couldn’t keep thinking about somebody else. He could never do that to Logan. It would break him to find out that Patton was still just an unfaithful, faithless little kid who fell for anyone who called him cute. “You’re so good to me. I couldn’t imagine a life with anyone else.”

Logan closed his book, marking the page with his finger. He put his arm around Patton’s shoulders and kissed his nose. “And I wouldn’t want you to. Our life isn’t perfect, but it’s the one we have and I’m going to fight for it no matter what.”

_ Then fight Janus _ . Patton pressed himself into Logan and tried to focus on the smell of his skin. He was the only thing Patton could count on and he couldn’t stop thinking about betraying him. He pulled away and sat on the edge of the bed.

“Did I do something wrong?”

“No, Logan, it’s not you.”  _ It’s me. _ “I think we should find a therapist for Remus.”

Logan took a moment and watched Patton’s reflection undo his tie in the mirror over the dresser. “You’re probably right. I don’t know what he’s going to think of that, but he needs to see someone.”

Patton dropped the tie onto the dresser. “He’s not a bad kid. He just doesn’t understand. If I had tried harder and taught him better, then maybe he would-”

“Patton.” Logan stood and crossed the room to put a hand on his shoulder. “You’re so tense… do you want to come over here and let me work some of that out?”

He knew better than to try to say no. If Logan wanted him to sit down so he could touch his skin, then that was what would happen. He couldn’t risk fighting him right now. He had to be everything Logan asked of him so he wouldn’t turn into what Janus was inviting him to become. Patton unbuttoned his shirt and sat on the bed.

Logan’s hands were warm and soft and stronger than any feelings Patton was harboring towards Janus. Logan knew what he was doing and he was good at it. The tension vanished under Logan’s skilled touch and all Patton could do was sit still and try not to let Logan see that he was on the verge of tears. “That feels nice. Thank you. I needed this.”

“Are you sure you’re okay?”

“Yeah.” Patton melted into the helpless mess he turned into every time Logan did this.

“Do you want to eat something?”

“Yes. I can make you something if you’re hungry.”

Logan ran his thumbs along Patton's neck. “That isn’t what I asked. Don’t make this about me.”

Patton bit his tongue. “I’m sorry.”

“Come downstairs and I’ll make you something. You don’t have to be sorry. I want to do this for you. You can’t hide your feelings from me. I know you’re upset about something and I want to help.”

“Sorry.” He had no right to be upset. He should just swallow his pride and confess everything. Nothing was going to happen between him and Janus. No need to make Logan think something that wasn’t true.

Logan squeezed his shoulders one last time and stood up. “You can throw on something more comfortable while I fry you an egg just the way you like it.”

Patton nodded. Logan shouldn’t have to do that for him. He should be the one in the kitchen while Logan took a break. He felt wrong letting him insist on working, but there wasn’t anything he could say. He had to need Logan and depend on him. He couldn’t let him think that there was someone else he wanted. “Thank you, Logan. What would I do without you?”

“I don’t know, Honey.” Logan put a kiss on Patton’s lips before he left the room.

After the door was shut, Patton could let himself break down. He didn’t want to fall for Janus. He didn’t want to hurt Logan like that. He put on a shirt and cried until he heard a knock on his door.

“Hey… Patton? Are you okay?”

He scraped his tears off in his hands and tried to smile. He opened the door and looked away when he recognized Virgil’s face. “I’m fine, Kiddo. Just tired.”

* * *

Virgil tucked his arms tighter across his chest. He could see everything Patton was thinking. “You’re not fine. Where were you this morning?”

Patton drew the door a little farther closed. “I’m sorry, Virgil. I should have left a note or something. I know you don’t like it when I go somewhere without telling you.”

“Yeah.” Virgil looked away. He didn’t have anything to say to that. Patton was right and Virgil couldn’t just tell him that it was okay, because it wasn’t.

“Is there something you wanted to talk to me about, or…?”

Virgil shifted his weight. “No.”

He left. He went back to his room and sat on his bed. Nothing from the last two days had truly surprised him. The only thing that stood out from the rest of his life was how long it had taken Patton to show his true colors. Most people had only pretended to love Virgil for a few weeks. Some had made it a month or more. Patton and Logan had kept up their perfect act for years.

The last person he had lived with at least pretended to care. It was her boyfriend who hated him. They had both known it wasn’t something Virgil had done to Janus. It was something Virgil was. Something Virgil might still be.

Virgil fell back to lie on his bed with his feet on the floor. He had spent more than a thousand days like this when he was a kid. For nearly three years, he had been in a strict routine of staying out of the way, not making eye contact, and only speaking when spoken to. Most days, he would only leave his room for supper and school, but there were a handful of times when Janus had sought him out to lecture him about something or just because he needed someone to beat up.

One of those times would stay with Virgil forever. That night was the reason he had never cut himself on purpose. He used to burn himself and bruise his knuckles on walls and bite his tongue until he could taste blood, but he would never cut his arms. Never.

_ The door opened and Janus stood silhouetted in the light from the hall. Virgil looked up and shook his head. He didn’t know what Janus wanted, but he knew wasn’t good. The first thing he did was try to defend himself. He cried and screamed and tried to put up a fight, but he was only eleven and Janus was in complete control the whole time. Virgil almost got one of his hands free, but Janus caught him and pulled him closer. _

_ “Listen here you little shit,” he hissed into Virgil’s ear. “You’re nothing but a lazy, disrespectful orphan. No one would care if I cut your throat and pushed you out the window. Don’t make me want to.” _

_ Virgil stopped fighting. If he knew one thing, he knew that Janus was stronger than him. “I’m sorry, sir. Please, don’t hurt me. I’m sorry. ...I’m sorry.” _

_ Janus dragged him down the hall with one hand around his wrists and the other fist around Virgil’s hair. “Shut up. I’m not in the mood to deal with your bullshit.” _

_ When they got to the kitchen, Virgil started to struggle again. Fear rose in his throat and spilled down his face in big fat drops. “Let me go. Janus, I’m sorry… just let me-” _

_ “What did I just say? Shut the hell up and stop crying.” _

_ Virgil could shut up, but he couldn’t stop crying. He tried. He tried to hold his tears back and cooperate with Janus, but it was hard. He let Janus drag him across the room. _

_ Janus pulled a knife out of the block and held Virgil’s wrists over the sink. “Don’t scream.” _

_ Nothing made sense. He could feel the knife in his arm, but it didn’t hurt. The sink was red, but Virgil couldn’t figure out why. He knew it was blood, and he knew it was his, but he had no idea why Janus was doing this. “Stop. Janus. What do you want from me?” _

_ “Respect, Virgil,” Janus whispered into his ear like the snake he was. “I want you to know that I’m the only person who knows what’s best for you and I won’t give it to you unless you do everything I say.” _

_ His other wrist opened next. He forced two whole words between his sobs. “I’m s...sorry.” _

_ “What was that?” Janus rested the blade of the knife against Virgil’s arm again, but he didn’t apply any pressure. Yet. “Sorry for what?” _

_ He couldn’t do this. He wanted to scream. He felt sick. His stomach hurt and his wrists burned. What was a little humiliation compared to what Janus would do otherwise? “I’m sorry I keep fighting you. I’m sorry I’m so stupid. I’m sorry I can’t listen. I’m sorry I’m such a bitch.” _

_ A few beads of blood appeared at the edge of the knife. “Anything else you’d like to tell me?” _

_ Virgil gave up. Of course, that was what this was about. Janus would kill for a compliment. “You’re perfect. You’re smart, strong, handsome... you always know what to say. I could never be like you, but I wish I could. Maybe then people would like me.” _

_ Janus put a kiss on Virgil’s ear as he slid the knife across his arm. “Good boy. You’re trying so hard.” _

_ “Can I go back to my room now?” _

_ “No.” Janus positioned the knife to put a second cut on Virgil’s other wrist. He was about to say something more when the lock on the door clicked. The knife slipped and Virgil screamed, but Janus was a quick thinker if nothing else. _

_ When the door opened, Janus set the knife on the counter and took Virgil’s wrists in his hands. He looked into his eyes with something close to concern. “Virgil, what were you thinking? Why would you do that?” _

_ Virgil didn’t understand until Rachel was kneeling in front of him and wiping the tears off his cheeks. He couldn’t comprehend much beyond the hot feeling in his wrists and her voice. “Oh, honey… are you okay? Janus, what happened?” _

_ Janus shook his head and turned to rinse the blood down the drain. “I don’t know. I found him like this.” _

_ Rachel took Virgil to the bathroom and wrapped his wrists to try to slow the bleeding. _

_ He ended up with twenty-four stitches in total. _

The scars were still there. He tugged his sleeves over his hands and rolled over onto his side. If Patton was even thinking about talking to that monster, Virgil could only hope Janus had changed. Shit. He was crying. He closed his eyes and curled his knees up to his chest. He didn’t know how long he had been there and he didn’t know how long it would be before he left.

* * *

At six in the evening, Logan went upstairs to knock on Virgil’s door. “Hey, are you in there?”

A minute later, the door unlocked and Virgil stood before Logan looking smaller than he had when he was a kid. He didn’t say anything. He looked like he had been crying.

Logan held his ground. He was surprised to see Virgil so openly distraught like this, but he knew there was a lot of reason to be stressed. “Do you want to tell me about it?”

Virgil shook his head. He didn’t look at Logan’s face. “What do you want?”

He wanted to listen to whatever was on Virgil’s mind and help him find a healthy way to cope. “I just came to ask if you’ve eaten today. I haven’t seen you in a while.”

“Sorry about that…” He stared at his socks. “I had an egg earlier.”

Logan nodded and pressed his lips together. “You should eat again. You’ll feel better.”

“I know I should. Logan?”

“Hmm?”

Virgil looked up and met Logan’s eyes. He was lost and alone and his face told stories of needing help he was sure no one would be willing to give him. “Do you know Janus?”

“I’ve spoken to him once or twice. Why?”

“No reason.” Virgil brushed past Logan and went downstairs.

Logan went to his room and sat on the bed. Patton was lying on top of the sheets with his eyes closed.

He opened his eyes and smiled weakly when Logan touched his cheek.

Logan ran his fingers through Patton’s hair and smiled back. His husband was beautiful and generous and kind to everyone. He could never want to spend the rest of his life with anyone else.

“What is it? Do you want something?”

“I’m just looking. Don’t mind me.”

Patton put a hand on Logan’s hip and met his gaze. “Are you sure? Because if there’s anything I can do for you, I would love to indulge you.”

This sudden shift in Patton’s attitude was a little concerning. He had been acting off all day and even last night. It was like he was trying to prove something. Logan ran his thumb along the arm of Patton’s glasses. “Is everything okay? You’ve been acting odd lately.”

“I’m fine, Logan. I love you.”

Logan pulled his hand away. “I know. I love you too, no matter what.”

Patton turned over onto his back to open himself up. He looked vulnerable and scared, but he also looked determined and almost angry.

“What is it? Do you want to say something?”

“Logan, I…” Patton’s eyes started to fill with water, but they didn’t leak. “I want to switch things up.”

“Alright. What did you have-?”

“I want you to put me in my place.” Patton was still on the verge of tears, but now he looked more numb than anything.

Logan let the concern in his chest show on his face. “If that’s what you need, It's what I want. Can you tell me why?”

Patton shook his head. “I just feel better when someone is controlling me. You know that.”

He did know that. He had known that for as long as he had known Patton in this way. It was never a matter of being in his place, though. It wasn’t about keeping him from rebelling. “If you’re sure. If you want me to hold you down and make you cry, you know I will. I love you.”

“Thank you.” Patton closed his eyes and tipped his head to one side, opening his neck for Logan to kiss or bite or just run his thumb over the skin.

Logan didn’t do anything. Patton was far too distraught. He wouldn’t take advantage of that, even if Patton thought that was what he wanted. “I will do anything you want once you’ve calmed down. I don’t know what’s wrong, but you aren’t thinking clearly. I won’t touch you until I’m sure you won’t let me do anything you’ll regret.”

Patton’s hand found Logan’s knee. “Okay.”

It hurt to see him like this. Like he was punishing himself for something. Logan had seen Patton upset before, but the submissive affection was new. He wanted to know why Patton was doing this so he could help. He didn’t want to be part of an unhealthy coping mechanism or a distraction. He wanted to be part of Patton’s support system.

* * *

Janus ran his hand through Remus’s hair as he watched him sort through the second box of Polaroids. His wine glass was almost empty and the morning was slipping into the afternoon. His fingers separated the white streak in Remus’s bangs and his tongue ran over his lip. “What is this?”

Remus tipped his head back and he looked at Janus. “The streak? I don’t know. It just showed up right after I graduated.”

“It’s cute. I like it.” Janus twisted the contrasting lock of hair around his finger and put a kiss on Remus’s ear. “Find anything interesting?”

He tapped a photograph of a young man, alive, but asleep in a messy hotel bed. “This reminds me of the ones I took of Roman last night.”

Janus rested his wrist on Remus’s shoulder and tapped his finger against his glass. “You took pictures?”

“Yeah. You wanna see?” Remus pulled his phone out and flipped through the pictures of his twin brother asleep in the moonlight.

He scanned the images and an idea struck him. “These are nice. Remus…?”

Remus looked up again. “Hmm?” 

“I’d like to see what you can do with a real camera.” Janus drained his wine glass and put a kiss on Remus’s lips. “I want you to borrow mine. I’ll show you how to use it and give you a few tips… let me know when you’re comfortable with it and I’ll get you a present.”

“What kind of present?” Remus smiled and reached up to put a hand on the back of Janus’s neck.

Janus’s second kiss lasted a beat longer than necessary. “It’s a surprise.”

He wasn’t one to get excited, but he had to admit he couldn’t wait to see Remus’s face when he found out what Janus had planned. But first, he wanted to make Remus work for it. Remus had to learn to properly use a camera and perhaps Janus could tell him the things he had wished he’d known when he first started. Something told Janus that Remus had a long way to go.

For now, Janus slid his hands down Remus’s chest and moved his lips to the boy’s neck. He smiled into the skin when he felt a set of fingers brush the space between his shirt and his belt. “You really should be going home. I’ve kept you late enough as it is, especially with how long you stayed yesterday.”

Remus stood and slid his hand up Janus’s spine. “Come on… it isn’t like anyone over there will miss me. Why can’t I stay?”

Janus pulled away and let his fang-like teeth show between his soft lips. He took Remus’s hand from his back and gently slapped his wrist. “Because I said so. You know what happens to people who don’t listen to me.”

The boy glanced at the record of what happened to those unfortunate men and women who went against Janus’s will. He looked back at the man who had made it all happen and tipped his head back. “Do your worst.”

“My worst?” Janus stepped back and started to unbutton his shirt. He turned away to head for the stairs and slid the fabric down off his shoulders. The shirt dropped to the floor and Janus didn’t look back. “Go home.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't worry, there's more dark stuff coming. This is just a start. Throw me any of your nasty, depraved ideas and I'll see where they can fit into this disaster. Ignore the rules I said before for now. I'll put them back if I get uncomfortable, but I just want to screw these boys over in the worst ways possible. Also, it looks like the chapters are just going to be extra long for a while.


	9. ‘Cause He’s Kinda Big And He’s Awfully Strong

“Wait… what about the camera?”

Janus glanced over his bare shoulder when he reached the stairs. “It’s on the middle shelf in the closet over there. Have fun.”

Remus wanted to make up an excuse to stay, but he just opened the closet door, took the camera, and slipped out the back. Janus was a cruel man. Remus had always told himself that some people only want to tease. If he knew anything, Janus was one of those people who genuinely enjoyed watching Remus beg. He wasn’t about to give him that satisfaction.

He didn’t go straight home. He wandered for a while before finding himself in one of the few places only he knew about. It wasn’t much more than an empty rectangle that was only accessible from the alley between two buildings on the next street. There was still a pack of cigarettes and a lighter wrapped in a plastic bag wedged between the fence and the wall. It was half empty. He could have sworn it was almost full last time he was here. At least the thief had been polite enough to put it back. 

Remus pulled a cigarette out and lit it, then sat on the dry grass with his back to the warm brick wall. It had been a while since he had sat here like this. He hadn’t even left his street since his falling out with Roman. It was nice to be alone and free. Honestly, he didn’t know why he hadn’t done this earlier.

When his nerves had settled and he felt like he could focus on something other than Janus, he remembered the camera next to him. He picked it up and it only took him a second to figure out. He remembered more than he thought he did from when he had been obsessed with wanting one of these a few years ago.

Within minutes, Remus had remembered most of the rules for composing a picture and ignored all of them. He started with a few shots of his cigarette, then started to focus more on the smoke itself. When that got boring, he moved on to the alley between the two buildings in front of him. The next obvious step was pedestrians.

No one saw him, but he could see almost the whole street.  


* * *

Virgil was only here until he could find somewhere else. That was what he kept telling himself. He had been telling himself that for almost a year and he had made little to no effort to find a better job. He took a deep breath and dried his cheeks with a paper towel. He could go home in five minutes. Twelve times. An hour. He could go home in an hour. He would probably cry at least two more times before then.

He looked in the mirror and shook his head. His eyes were red and swollen. Not that anyone would notice. Virgil took a few more seconds to breathe and compose himself before he slipped out of the restroom and back to work.

‘Work’, which was mostly just putting books on shelves and pointing people in the general direction of the information they needed. Virgil had a prepared answer for almost every question he might be asked. Each one was maybe four or five words at the longest. All in all, the only good thing about the library was that he knew his way around. Now. The first month had been hell. Everything after that was just purgatory. A neutral ground full of people too rude for heaven and too stupid for hell.

At least strangers didn’t openly harass him. It was mostly his coworkers. It was mostly Laura. She was actively against neurodiversity and homosexuality. She hated everything he stood for and made sure he knew it. The rest of the library staff knew it and had joined her little crusade.

“Excuse me, where might I find information on a half-witted, gay-ass bitch?”

“Go away.” Too late did Virgil register that the voice didn’t belong to Laura or any of her soldiers. It didn’t belong to a coworker at all. He turned and his heart sank when he saw the hat.

Janus smiled. “Well?”

Virgil froze. What was he supposed to do? No. He wouldn’t get anywhere doing what he was ‘supposed to do’. Now it was a matter of what he could do without getting hurt. “Sorry, sir. What did you have a question about?”

Janus lowered his voice and took a step closer. “I can find anything I want. I found you after all these years, didn’t I? I’m just here to remind you that life is short. Appreciate your loved ones before they’re gone.”

“What do you want from me?” Virgil hadn’t recovered from his last bout of tears and now his eyes stung again. His throat was tight and he couldn’t breathe. This was the worst spot he could be in right now. The aisle was a dead end. Even if he felt comfortable calling attention to himself for help, no one would do anything.

“Nothing.” Janus took another step closer but didn’t move to touch Virgil. “I don’t want anything from you. I’m going to take everything you have and burn it in front of you because I can. Because you don’t deserve any of what Patton and Logan have given you.”

He tried to swallow his fear and brush off the whole conversation. He wanted to go back to work, but he was back to being ten.

_ Rachel was putting a glass of wine into Virgil’s hand. She smiled like it was a good thing. “Honey, please.” _

_ Virgil shook his head. “I don’t want to.” _

_ “Don’t make any trouble.” Rachel sighed and squeezed Virgil’s shoulder. “I love you.” _

_ He wanted to crush the glass in his hand or throw it onto the floor. He swallowed hard and tried to keep from screaming. “Why should I do anything for him?” _

_ Rachel looked away. She closed her eyes and took a breath. “Virgil… Janus makes a lot of money. He’s a very powerful man and it’s better if you don’t make him angry.” _

_ Virgil left the kitchen and knocked on the door he was never allowed to look at, let alone go through. _

_ “It’s open.” _

_ Even the voice made Virgil want to throw up. He opened the door and stepped into the room. It was full of ceramic snakes and the smell of Janus. Virgil didn’t look at the man at the desk. He gripped the glass tighter. “Here’s your damn wine.” _

_ Janus leaned back in his chair and raised an eyebrow. “Who taught you to speak like that?” _

_ Virgil didn’t move. He didn’t smash the glass on the desk and he didn’t dump the wine on the floor. He didn’t scream and he didn’t cry. “You did.” _

_ “Hmm.” Janus reached out to take the glass. “Give me my damn wine, kid.” _

_ He couldn’t move. He knew Janus would hurt him if he didn’t do as he was told. He also knew Janus would hurt Rachel if Virgil let him have what he wanted. _

_ “Now.” Janus waited one second, then stood up and took the glass out of Virgil’s hands. “Go tell that bitch to hurry up with dinner.” _

_ Virgil left the room and didn’t slam the door on his way out. He didn’t. He wanted to, but he couldn’t risk starting a fight. His wrists were still full of stitches from a week ago. _

He gripped the stack of books in his hands and blinked a few times. Janus was gone. Virgil had been standing alone in the historical fiction row for at least a minute. He was crying. Shit. If anyone had seen him, he would never live it down.

* * *

Patton knelt on the ground with the smell of dirt and a pile of weeds next to him. The backyard was shady and cool. He genuinely liked his garden, and he felt better when he was outside. His chest didn’t hurt as much when he didn’t have time to think about anything but the task at hand. The flowers would thank him for taking care of them and Logan would thank him for keeping busy. He didn’t know what he would do if he ran out of reasons not to go across the street and just… no. He wouldn’t even think about it. He was fine.

Everything was fine.

“Hey, Dad. Do you want any help out here?”

He looked up from his work and smiled when he saw Roman’s face. “I don’t need any help. You should go inside and rest. Unless you want something to eat?”

Roman knelt next to Patton. He picked up a small spade and ran the tip of his finger over the end. “Are you okay?”

“Of course I am. What makes you think I wouldn’t be?” He sat back on his heels and brushed his hands on his knees.

“Nothing.” Roman looked away. “Are you sure you don’t want me to help you with this? It’ll take you hours by yourself and Virgil and Logan will be home soon. Should I let you stay out here and I’ll make dinner?”

Patton bit his lip. “Damn it. I forgot. I should have been in the kitchen a half hour ago.”

Roman pulled back, a little shocked. He watched Patton’s face for a minute as if he couldn’t understand what he had heard. Patton never cursed.

“I’m sorry, Princey…” Patton brushed his hands off on his pants and sighed. “If it isn't too much trouble, I would appreciate it if you could clean up here for me while I make dinner.”

“Are you sure? I can cook if you’d rather-”

Patton stood before Roman could finish the thought. “You’re sweet, but I can manage by myself. Besides, It’s my responsibility anyway.”

* * *

Roman didn’t say anything. He just put everything away and went into the kitchen. He leaned against the counter. No one else was home. Even Remus was off getting into trouble somewhere else. Roman only watched Patton far a second before he couldn’t stand the quiet. “Do you want any help with th-?”

“Remus is moving back into your room.”

That caught Roman off guard. Both being cut off and the information. “Like hell. He’s not going to set foot up there until he’s-”

Patton didn’t seem to hear him. “It’s time you two made up. You don’t want to spend your whole summer fighting with him and the longer you let this go, the worse it’s going to get.”

“Can’t he just-?”

“No. Roman, your brother is going to sleep with you and you're going to be civil to him. I don’t see why you’re being so difficult.”

Roman wanted to scream. He wanted to throw a temper tantrum and get everything he wanted when he wanted it. It had always worked for him in the past. He didn’t like to manipulate Patton, but it was just too easy to get his way in this house. “I won’t let him! He can sleep on the streets if you want him out of the garage that badly! I don’t want him in my room! I don’t wanna live with him! I  _ can’t _ live with him! It’s not fair! You don’t make Virgil live with Jan-!”

“Roman,” Patton’s voice was calm and even, but his knuckles were white around the knife in his hand. “You’re acting like a child. In the fall, you can live at school and only talk to him at Christmas and Easter, but for now, you two are sharing a room and that’s final.”

He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Maybe Patton had forgotten why Remus was living in the garage in the first place. “I don’t know if you remember, but he tried to f-”

“If you finish that sentence, I will ground you for a month. The community theater is holding auditions in two weeks.”

Roman didn’t say anything. He wouldn’t put his summer on the line. Every year since he had lived under Logan and Patton’s roof, he had spent his summers in rehearsals and performances. It meant everything to him. Maybe not more than avoidng Remus, but it certainly mattered more than this argument. There were other ways to get what he needed.

Patton returned to making dinner. “Go put some sheets on his bed.”

_ Fine _ . Roman went upstairs to  _ his  _ room and locked the door without slamming it. He sat on his bed and felt something hot and wet slide down his cheek.  _ Damn it. Why was this happening to him?  _ He was scared to even look at Remus’s bed. Everything was a threat or a taunt. He couldn’t do anything without being afraid of someone hurting him or just dismissing him as paranoid and- A wave of guilt crashed over him. He had heard those words somewhere before and ignored them.  _...Was this what Virgil felt like all the time? _

* * *

Logan walked through the door, kissed Patton, and didn’t ask why dinner wasn’t ready. He didn’t want to make anything worse by prying. His husband just needed a break. Logan didn’t say anything. He sat at the table and tried to relax. Patton was probably just stressed because of everything going on with Remus. There was nothing to worry about and no reason to be suspicious. Patton was soft and sensitive, sometimes overly so, and Logan just had to wait it out.

A few minutes later, the front door opened and Virgil tried to sneak upstairs before anyone saw him. Logan saw him. “Virgil, can we talk?”

Virgil froze on the bottom step. He looked like he had been crying. “Sure. What about?”

Logan leaned forward in his chair. He wanted to know what was happening in his son’s life, but he also wanted to respect his privacy. “I just want to ask how work was.”

“It was okay.” Virgil didn’t move and he didn’t let go of the stair rail.

There was a time to not pry and there was a time to make sure his kids were safe. “What happened today?”

Virgil leaned against the rail and shrugged. “I had a panic attack and cried three times. Nothing major. Just another day for a half-witted, gay-ass bitch like me.”

Logan closed his eyes. “Virgil… that’s nothing to be ashamed of. I know you have a hard time with this, but I don’t want you to talk about yourself like that. You’re careful and that’s okay. You must be exhausted. Go upstairs and rest. I’ll get you when dinner is ready.”

The smile that crossed Virgil’s face was gone in an instant, but it was genuine and grateful. “Thanks.”

Logan himself had had a long day and a long week, but he loved his husband and two sons more than anything. If Remus wanted to change his ways and come home, that was his business. Logan wouldn’t force him. This family was going through something no normal person would even consider. No one knew how to handle this, but Logan was going to do his best to keep them from falling apart.

* * *

Janus stood in his kitchen after coming home from the library. He had been awake for longer than he wanted to, but Virgil needed to know who was in charge. It might be worth it to ease into his summer sleep schedule early this year. Especially if he planned to have any extra time when both he and the rest of the street was awake. He couldn’t exactly cut Remus’s hours. He could watch Remus work in the mornings, then depending on how long he stayed when he was done, Janus could dedicate afternoons to his other quest.

He was almost unsure how to go about it. It had been a while since he had taken the time to really, truly win someone over. The obvious place to start was to collect information. Remus was an infinite well of that and Janus would be surprised if he had any objections to giving away his parents’ secrets. After that, he would have to find an excuse to spend some time alone with him. Afternoons would be useful for that, but only if Janus could teach himself to go to sleep at night and wake up in the morning.

No need to fret about that now. Patton would come to him when he was ready. For now, he should go to bed and plan to wake up around four or five. Six or seven would be ideal for switching his schedule, but he was used to having a few hours to himself before Remus showed up. Janus was in his room before he knew it. He prepared himself for bed and said goodnight to the snake in the glass case.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh? Another short one? This is mostly setup for later things. It looks like the next big thing will happen in the next chapter or the one after. Fingers crossed. Thank you to everyone who put in their two bits. This time I think I’ll switch it up with the requests. Give me one thing that want to either have happened to Virgil in the past or happen to him in the future.
> 
> What do we think of Rachel, by the way? Do we want her to appear again?


	10. It’s Killing Me To See You This Way

Remus hadn’t slept in his own bed in a while. It was nice to have sheets and a mattress and an air conditioner and his twin brother’s quiet breaths a few feet away. The sound was calming and grounding, like a river dancing through a dying forest. He waited until he was sure Roman was asleep, then decided that he had two choices. He could either lie awake and bored until morning, or he could take a few minutes to say goodnight to Roman. He would sleep better without the idea lurking in the back of his mind.

At twelve-thirty, he gave up. The moonlight was bright enough to see shapes by, but every color looked like the same shade of gray. He slipped out of bed and silently crossed the room. His chest felt like it was full of water. His mouth felt like it was full of sand.

Roman turned over and mumbled something unintelligible. His eyelashes brushed his cheeks as his eyes shifted behind the veil of hair that had fallen over them. His arms were bare and white, but not like Virgil’s. Roman’s arms had substance and grace. He looked like royalty.

Remus slowly— slowly reached down to brush his fingers over Roman’s cheek. It was smooth and pale and his skin was every kind of perfect in the world. He took his time as he bent down. When he could feel Roman’s warm breath on his face, he closed his eyes. The sound was rhythmic and soothing, like a mother’s voice. Remus and Roman hadn’t had a mother since they were six years old. All they had was each other. They didn’t need anyone else. His whisper was as tender and intimate as the love between brothers should always be. “Goodnight, Princey. I love you.”

Roman’s soft lips gave way under Remus’s and everything was right for a moment. The tension and confusion all melted away into Roman’s mouth. Remus could breathe again. He wanted nothing but time here alone with the love of his life.

As soon as he broke off, the world crashed back over his shoulders and he struggled to take a breath. His fingers ran down Roman’s cheek to his jaw and then to his neck. 

No one could stop Remus from just lifting that sheet and crawling under it. No one was awake to tell him he couldn’t wrap his arm around his brother and feel the rising and falling of Roman’s chest against his own. Remus had every right and every reason to fall asleep with Roman next to him. He didn’t want to sleep alone again.

He moved tentatively and carefully to let Roman stay in whatever fantasy world he was in right now. The bed was just small enough that it only made sense to press himself against Roman’s body, touching as much of the prince’s skin as he could. His arm rested over Roman’s side and his hand was on Roman’s chest. Remus slid his fingers down inside Roman’s shirt and closed his eyes.

Roman didn’t move except to breathe. He fit against Remus’s body like a puzzle piece, like they were supposed to lie here like this. Remus put a kiss on the back of Roman’s neck and breathed in the spicy cinnamon smell of his brother’s clean hair. It was like coming home after a lifetime of wandering.

Six or so hours later, Remus turned over and silenced Roman’s alarm before he even knew he was awake. He knew how hard it was to get Roman to wake up. He had plenty of time.

Remus turned back to Roman and tucked a kiss behind his ear. “Morning, Sleeping Beauty.”

Roman didn’t stir. He was still asleep and he was still just as pretty as he always was. The morning sun highlighted the pink on his cheeks and lips and added an almost red shine to his hair. He looked like a doll.

It took a few seconds, but Remus managed to pull himself away from his dear brother and stand up. He stretched his spine and took a deep breath that was somewhere between a sigh and a yawn. His clothes were still in the box he had thrown them into to take them back upstairs. He pulled out a shirt and a pair of pants.

Eight minutes later, he sat at the foot of Roman’s bed with Janus’s camera in his hands. The sunlight filtering through the blinds made for a rather striking image. Three slides were already face down on Remus’s dresser, developing. He could only hope one of them came out nice because he was out of time.

Roman’s eyes squished shut and he reached for his phone to check the time. His voice was still halfway in a dream. “Who turned off my alarm?”

Remus reached back to set the camera on his bed before Roman could see properly. “You don’t have anywhere to be and you looked like you needed the extra sleep.”

Roman could sit up and stare at Remus, and he could shy away defensively, but he couldn’t hide the sleep under his eyes and between his lips. “Get out.”

He would have stayed to argue, but he did have somewhere to be. Remus picked up the camera and the photographs and didn’t close the door behind himself.

When he rang Janus’s doorbell, he was ready to lose himself in manual labor and give his generous employer the show he was being paid to put on.

Janus opened the door and held out an arm for Remus to step into. His crooked smile looked almost lazy. “I see you figured out how to use that camera.”

Remus accepted the touch and leaned into it a little. He glanced down at the photographs in his hand. The top three were of Roman’s face striped with sunlight and shadow, but all the rest were the alleyway and the people passing by. “Yeah. I used to want one of these. Do you want me to get you a drink before we go out back?”

The hand on Remus’s side wandered down to his hip. “Mm… you’re sweet. I appreciate the gesture, but I just woke up two hours ago. I’ll get myself something at around noon.”

From there, the day went just as expected if not better. Remus got half of the dirt patch down two and a half feet and took his jeans off halfway through. It was starting to feel like summer. He was hot and his muscles twitched and ached, but Janus was a few feet away, watching him. Remus couldn’t exactly show weakness. Besides, the attention was nice and it helped to distract him from the work.

At eleven, Janus tapped his fingers against the arm of his chair. “Remus, that’s probably good. You can bring the bodies out tomorrow and put all that dirt right back where you found it. For now, come here and tell me what jacket size you wear.”

Remus tossed the shovel aside and collapsed into the grass next to the snake. His eyes followed the curve of Janus’s shoulder, which flowed seamlessly into his back. “What are you planning?”

“A surprise. If you don’t know, you can tell me tomorrow or just find one that fits you and I’ll go from there. That’s not really what I wanted to ask you, though.”

Now it was a mystery. One that Remus was content to wait for. “What else do you want to know?”

Janus smiled and reached down to tip Remus’s chin up and run his thumb along his jaw. He chuckled under his breath when Remus’s lips parted as if begging for a kiss. “Tell me about your daddy.”

Remus could barely breathe. He wanted Janus’s body so badly, he would die if he had to wait another day. “Which one? I have three.”

A second chuckle and Janus’s thumb found Remus’s lip. “Patton. What does he do in his spare time? What’s his favorite color? What turns him on?”

He closed his eyes and leaned into Janus’s hand like a puppy who hasn’t had a scratch behind the ears in days. With Janus’s hand on him, Remus was more than willing to give him anything he asked for. “He likes all those housewife hobbies. You know, gardening, knitting, reading… really boring feminine shit like that. I think his favorite color is light blue. That’s his signature color anyway. Uh… heck if I know what he’s into. All I can guess is that he likes it when Logan takes charge. Why?”

Janus didn’t smile when Remus moved closer so he could reach the back of his neck. “No reason… I’m just curious. If you could get some confirmation on that- discreetly, of course- I promise I’ll get you something nice in return. Now how about we go inside and let me figure out what you like, hmm?”

Remus stood and let out a slow breath as Janus’s hand traced its way over his shoulder and down his chest. All the way down. He bit his lip and searched Janus’s face for any sign of hope when the hand stopped just above his boxers.

The fingers slid around to his back and pulled him closer. Janus’s lips met Remus’s stomach and from there it was only a matter of time.

* * *

Patton was already in the kitchen when Logan came down to say goodbye. He kissed his husband and tried not to think about anything else. There was no reason to leave him for even a moment. “Good morning, Honey…”

Logan ran the backs of his fingers up and down Patton’s back. “You’re up early. Is something wrong?”

_ Yes. I’m scared. I think I want to sleep with Janus. _ “No. I’m fine. Thank you for asking.”

“If you’re sure. I have to go, but I promise we’ll talk about whatever’s bothering you when I get home. Okay?”

“Okay.” Patton looked up when Logan’s hand left his spine. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

And just like that, Patton was alone again. He closed his eyes and shook his head. “I love you, Logan… I’m so sorry.”

The kitchen was quiet and almost lonely. He remembered a time not too long ago when he couldn’t catch a moment alone with Logan. He remembered Roman always needing to be taken somewhere or practicing for something and barely remembering to eat. He remembered Remus striking out on his own and barely being home except to sleep until noon. He remembered Virgil. Gentle, shy Virgil who would sooner starve than risk bothering someone.

When Patton was halfway through making breakfast, Remus strolled into the kitchen and opened the refrigerator. “Do we have any- Crap. Never mind. I’m already late. Bye, see you at noon.”

The front door swung shut before Patton could stop him. It seemed that the boy spent more time in Janus’s garden than with his own family. According to Roman, that might be a good thing. According to Roman, he was nothing but an animal to be put in a zoo and poked with a stick. Patton needed to talk to someone. Someone who could talk him out of going across the street and giving Janus another chance to exploit his trusting, romantic nature. He just had to remind himself that all Janus wanted was— “Virgil?”

The dark shape in the doorway sighed and stepped into the kitchen. “Yeah?”

Patton smiled at him. “Morning, Kiddo. How long have you been up?”

Virgil tucked his arms tighter around his chest and looked out the window at the house across the street. “Like thirty seconds. Don’t call me ‘Kiddo’.”

Those words hurt almost as much as everything he had said to Janus. He didn’t quite understand why or what, but he knew something had to change. “I’m sorry. What do you want me to call you?”

“Virgil. I’m not a kid.” He didn’t take his eyes off the gray and yellow house. “Stop acting like we’re still your precious little angels.”

Patton closed his eyes. He didn’t want to admit that Virgil was right. He wanted to think nothing would ever change and he could keep his three boys under his wings forever. He had come so far with Virgil in the last eight years and he didn’t want to risk him going out into the world and reverting to his old habits of lying and stealing and hiding from every form of help that came his way.

* * *

Virgil walked away. He could see the pain in Patton’s face and he hated it. It was like being a kid again. He had been treated like an invalid and a freak ever since he could walk and he had never met someone who cared about him. The worst part was that Patton had drawn it out for so long. He should have run away when he was thirteen.

He found himself on the couch in the living room. He should have gone to his room. Out here in the open, just anyone could sit down and try to talk to him.

Virgil looked up when he felt Roman appear at his side. “What?”

Roman glanced at the small stack of paper in his hands. He took a breath like he was preparing to rehearse a monologue. “Virgil… I need you to play this for me.”

“No.” Virgil shook his head and pressed himself into the corner of the couch. “You know I don’t play anymore. Besides, if you want me to play any of the right notes, you should have asked months ago. We both know how long it takes me to figure that shit out.”

“Come on. You only have to play the vocal part and it’s really simple, I promise. See?” Roman turned the stack of paper around and showed Virgil the first page of music. It looked incredibly complex. The left hand alone would take him until Christmas if he pushed himself. At least the vocal part didn’t look too bad.

“Roman…” Virgil took the stack of paper and flipped through it. He couldn’t say no to that face. He also couldn’t say yes to that key change. Sorry, those key chang _ es _ . “Can’t you find someone who can actually play the piano?”

Roman stood and sighed. He looked at the old piano against the wall and shook his head. “V, you always help me. Just try. Please.”

He had nothing better to do. “Okay. Fine. I’ll stumble through this dumb piece and then you’ll have to figure out how to do this on your own. I am not going to help you after this.”

Five minutes later, Virgil had tripped and fallen through the whole thing cold and decided two things. First, he was not ready to play anything that would sound like music. Second, the piano was sorely out of tune. The last thing he decided was that he couldn’t do this and he would never be able to.

Roman made him stay. He made Virgil work through the notes and write down as much as he needed to. It was like being thirteen.

_ Logan picked up the sheet of music and placed it back where Virgil could see it. “You can do this. It’ll take a while, but you are more than capable of learning this piece.” _

_ Virgil wanted to scream, but he was afraid of Logan. He was afraid that this man had high expectations that he would never meet. He knew he couldn’t do this because playing the piano required talent and intelligence. If Janus has taught him one thing, it was that he didn’t have either of those. He couldn’t say that, though. He couldn’t say it to Patton because Patton would cry and worry himself sick over something that wasn’t his fault. Logan would either not care or get angry. Virgil hadn’t seen Logan get upset with the twins or Patton, but everyone has a breaking point and for most people, that point was Virgil. Logan was probably the violent one anyway. The ‘bad cop’ of the house. Logan would no doubt hurt him if he tried to disagree. “I’m sorry.” _

_ “Don’t be sorry. You’re trying and that’s what counts right now.” _

“Are you okay? 

Virgil glanced up. “Huh? Oh… yeah. I’m fine. It’s been a while since I played, that’s all. Why are you doing this to yourself?”

Roman looked at his hands, which were folded between his knees. He sat on the bench next to Virgil and didn’t answer. It was like he hadn’t heard the question, or he was just avoiding answering it.

“Roman? Princey?”

“I’m fine. I’ll go find someone else. I can learn this on my own, I just thought you might want to feel included for once.”

Virgil couldn’t say or do anything. All he could do was let Roman stand up and walk away. He felt attacked and vulnerable. He wanted to hide in his room forever and only come out when Logan was there.  


* * *

Roman thought about Virgil’s question all the way down the street. Why was he doing this to himself? He wanted to get out of the house. He wanted some semblance of normalcy this summer. He needed to be away from Remus for a while.

Even if he didn’t pass the auditions, he would have tried. He would know it was because of him and not because of Remus. He couldn’t let his brother control his emotions or take his freedom. If he did get the part, all the better. More reason to be alone, more ways to get back into himself, and more things to distract him. Right. Distract.

Roman found himself outside of his uncle’s coffee shop again. Had he really walked that far? He should go back. He hadn’t told Patton where he was going. He hadn’t even gussied goodbye.

He opened the door.

Remy looked up and smiled. “Hey, Princey. Is your brother still giving you shit, or did you get that sorted out?”

“I don’t want to talk about him. What have you heard lately?” Roman sat in his chair and didn’t meet Remy’s gaze. “Tell me something meaningless.”

“You know all gossip has meaning, honey. But I got you. I think Cerisa and Ruby broke up again for like… the  _ millionth _ time. I wish they’d just stay apart or get it together, you know?”

Roman nodded. He didn’t really care or know who those people were, but he knew how to get Remy going. “Wasn’t Cerisa dating Evan?”

“That was ages ago. She broke up with Evan in February, then got back with Grant, that tall blond hottie with the scars, like, a day later. That lasted for about a week, not that anyone is surprised, and after that, I think she…”

As Remy talked, Roman let his voice silence the thoughts of Remus. It was nice to sit and listen to worthless gossip he didn’t even follow for a while. It was better than the soap opera at home.

“But of course Ruby found out about Cerisa and David, so she walked out on her. I give them three days before they’re glued to each other again. They’re perfect together and the whole world knows it.” Remy paused and ran his fingers through his hair.

Maybe Roman should ask for something to drink. He had to keep this conversation going somehow.

“And speaking of David, I don’t think Cerisa is going to even look at him again when she hears what he said to Florence yesterday…”

Nope, he was still going. Roman was starting to regret his decision to come here. He almost stood up to leave, but instead, he just dropped his hand onto the counter. “Damn him.”

Remy stopped. He blinked a few times and tried to laugh. “Who?”

“Remus.” Roman felt sick at just the mention of his name. It was like he was under a spell.

“What are you talking-?”

“I want him to burn in hell. Or at least rot in prison. He deserves it.”

Now Remington showed some actual concern. His eyes narrowed and he laced his fingers together. “Princey… is this about why you were fighting last time? What’s going on?”

Roman didn’t look at him. “Nothing you need to know. I should go. I’ve been in one place for too long.”

“Hey… Roman, I know him. I know he’s a little out there, but don’t you think-?”

He stood up and turned to the door. Why? Why was he so determined to keep this from Remy? He wasn’t afraid his uncle wouldn’t believe him, was he? As soon as he told the truth, Remy would go to the sun and back for him. “I think he’s mad at me because I want some semblance of privacy.”

“Did you tell him that?”

“What?” Roman glanced back over his shoulder. He didn’t really want to hear what Remy would say next, but he was also tired and easily swayed.

“Did you tell him that was what you wanted? I know I live for drama, but he needs to hear things directly. Can’t believe I’m the one telling you this, but your brother isn’t that great at picking up on hints. Say what you mean and ask him to repeat it back to you in his own words. It just takes a little patience.”

That was… really good advice. “Thanks.”

Roman left and went home. Remus would probably be there, but he could at least lock the door to his room. He had both keys.

* * *

Logan walked in the door and the first thing he noticed was the sound. He hadn’t heard wrong notes and repeated phrases on an untuned piano in years. He put his arms around Patton and kissed him. “Who’s at the piano?”

Patton smiled as best he could. “Nice to see you too. I think it’s Virgil. Remus and Roman aren’t home. Be quiet, though. If he thinks we’re listening, he’ll stop.”

“I know. He’s getting better about that, but… do you remember when he first got here?”

Patton closed his eyes and leaned into Logan. He dropped his voice to a low whisper. “Yeah. He was so quiet. Sometimes I thought he was afraid of you. Like… like you were going to hurt him if he said anything.”

Logan held his husband close and sighed. He was so precious. The soft shapes of Patton’s body had always fit perfectly in Logan’s long, thin arms. They both knew Logan hadn’t fallen in love with Patton’s weight and he would never shame him for it. Besides, he was healthy and cute and confident like this. Logan would always love him for that.

“Logan?”

“Yes, Patton?”

There was a pause full of the same wrong note three times. “Am I fat?”

He closed his eyes and wrapped his arms tighter around Patton. “No. You’re just right. If I thought you were unhealthy, I would have said something. You’re soft and comfortable and I love you. Why do you ask?”

“No reason.” Patton turned his face to kiss Logan’s lips. “I know you love me the way I am. Go talk to Virgil. He’s been working on the same piece all day and I think somethings bothering him.”

Logan felt a cold loneliness wash over him when he let go of Patton as if not holding him meant he would leave forever. He shook the feeling off and went to the living room.

Virgil sat at the piano with a few pages of sheet music and a look of determination on his face. His hands were steady and curved. His wrists were level and his feet were flat on the floor. He was doing everything right except the notes part.

As quietly as he could, Logan crosses the room to stand over his shoulder and watch for a minute. He recognized the piece now. The two pages of music were familiar. It was from  _ Newsies _ . It was the letter Crutchy wrote to Jack after being captured. Virgil had been trying to learn it since high school.

Virgil paused to find a note, then slammed his hand across a few keys when he realized it wasn’t anywhere close to sounding right. He didn’t move for a minute.

Logan spoke very gently and very slowly. “That was-”

“Holy f-” Virgil slammed the cover over the keys “-k, Logan. Don’t  _ sneak up on me like that!” _

“I’m sorry. May I sit down?”

“Whatever. It’s your house. It’s your piano.”

Logan took a seat next to his most delicate son and opened the piano. He looked over the sheet music and followed it on the keyboard with his fingers. None of the keys sounded right. No one could learn to ride on a bike with a flat tire. “This is severely out of tune. That‘s probably why you’re struggling.”

Virgil shook his head. “I’m struggling because I suck at this. I don’t even want to play. I was just messing around. Leave me alone.”

“Alright. Whenever you’re ready, I’ll find a tuner. You sounded pretty good for someone who sucks at reading music.” Logan stood and left Virgil to his thoughts. He would be just fine.

* * *

Earlier that morning, Janus kissed Remus’s bare stomach a second time. He stood and pulled Remus inside, then upstairs to his room. The light was off and the curtains were shut. The sheets were soft and cool.

Between Remus’s gasps and moans, Janus whispered meaningless words against his skin. His fingers wandered along Remus’s spine and before either of them knew it, he had brushed his other hand against the skin just above Remus’s hip.

Remus looked up at him with a loose half-smile and his hands found the top button on Janus’s shirt.

As Janus let Remus undress him, he leaned back and ran his tongue over his teeth. “I have an idea that I need your help with.”

Remus pulled the shirt off of Janus’s shoulders and moved to unclasp the man’s belt. “Yeah? What kind of idea?”

“You want your brother, right?”

“Mmhm…”

“I know how to get him for you.”

“I’m listening.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, this is it. From here on out, I know where I’m taking this and we’re gonna start getting there. I know I’ve said that before, but this time I’m serious. I have every event of the next chapter planned out, but I’m still taking suggestions for future events. Thank you to everyone who has given their ideas so far, you really made this story what it is.


	11. I Might Be Young

That evening was full of stolen glances and bitten lips. He would never forget the dizzy nausea that hit when Roman smiled at Virgil.  _ Virgil! _ The ugly little vampire who couldn’t even make friends online. It was disgusting. Roman’s smile was special and didn’t belong to anyone else. Remus couldn’t wait until Janus’s plan fell together and he could have his brother the way he had always wanted him.

He lay in Roman’s bed again and just held him. He just kept him safe like he had when they were kids. Roman had always been the softer twin and Remus was always right there to tell him everything was okay. Sure, during the day, Roman used to be the brave prince who could fight off hordes of dragons and bullies for his duke, but at night the only monster was their mother with her teeth and claws and burning eyes.

Remus kissed the back of Roman’s neck and let the way he smelled now keep him from remembering the way his mother had smelled back then. Cigarette smoke and cheap beer. Some days, she wore perfume.

She had pulled Remus out of bed one night when they were five. Remus didn’t remember much of what she did anymore, but he had almost enjoyed it. It happened a few times after that, and every time she told him not to tell his friends because they would be jealous.

Roman shifted in his sleep and Remus ran his fingers over his brother’s hand like he always had when they were kids. “It’s okay… I’m here.”

Every time, he worried about Roman in the next room. He didn’t say anything though, because he knew the most dangerous person in the house was right next to him. After she was done and before she came, Remus would hold his brother and keep him safe from any temper tantrum she might throw.

In the morning, Remus got up at five-thirty and gathered some clean clothes from the box.

He didn’t reach down to fix the way Roman’s hair fell over his face. He didn’t bend over and kiss Roman’s shoulder. He didn’t even touch his prince’s wrist to let him know he was going.

He left without another word.

Four hours was long enough to go back to sleep, or take a shower and eat some breakfast. He showered and brushed his teeth, then took a moment to stare at himself in the mirror. He gripped the edge of the sink and closed his eyes. This was it. This was the day he would finally have what he wanted and he felt… Well, honestly, he felt like he was going to be sick. It was just nerves. He was fine. Nervousness and excitement were the same chemical reaction. Everything was going to be fine. Janus had all the details worked out. But first, Remus had to iron out some details for Janus.

* * *

Patton lay awake next to Logan for a few minutes before he checked the time. He should get up. He felt sick. He couldn’t remember why he had woken up, but as soon as he thought that, it all came crashing back down around him. His dream.

Janus had been there.

He had known the secret of helping Remus. Patton wasn’t one to believe that dreams were significant or supernatural, but the more he thought about it… Remus did spend more time with him than with his family. Janus had to know  _ something _ . Right?

Patton turned over and put his arm around Logan. He didn’t want to put himself into that position, but he couldn’t stop thinking about it. He closed his eyes. It would be fine. He was stronger than that. He had to at least ask. Anything that Janus knew might help and Remus was probably far more open with him than with anyone else. There was no reason not to try.

He couldn’t lie there anymore. He threw the sheets off and went downstairs.

Logan trusted him. Patton had never betrayed that trust, and he didn’t plan to now. He didn’t want anything from Janus but whatever Remus had told him. All he was interested in was a new perspective on the more pressing issue. So why did he feel so guilty?

Remus came down the stairs and leaned against the back of a chair. He didn’t say anything for a minute, then he tipped his head to the side. “Dad, can I talk to you?”

“Of course. What about?” Patton hadn’t sat down and talked to Remus since… since he had locked him in the garage after what happened with Roman. “What’s on your mind?”

Remus sat in the chair and watched Patton for a moment as if weighing the best course of action to bring up a delicate subject. “Not much. I guess it’s not that important. I’ve just been wondering about something. That’s it.”

Patton took a breath. He wanted to be part of Remus’s life and help him answer questions about himself. He wanted to be his dad. “It’s okay. You can tell me. The worst I’ll say is ‘I don’t know.’”

“How… do you know what you like?” Remus glanced up at Patton and back down at the table. “I mean, how long did it take you to figure yourself out? Like… sexually.”

That wasn’t the question Patton had expected. He didn’t know what he was expecting, but that wasn’t it. He folded his hands on the table and took a moment to gather his thoughts. “Everyone is different, Remus. For me… Logan was a huge part of it. Why do you ask?”

Remus bit his lip. “I’m just curious. All my friends have known since high school and I… I feel like I’m behind.”

“That’s nothing to worry about.” Patton almost wanted to ask who Remus had been talking to, but that was a conversation for Logan to bring up. “You’re not behind. Logan and I were together for two years before I realized I was allowed to enjoy being controlled. That was hard for me to accept, but the most important thing you have to know right now is that I trusted Logan enough to explore with him.”

“Sure.” Remus nodded and didn’t look away this time. “Yeah, that makes sense. Trust. Uh… if it’s okay, can I ask… how do you…? Damn. I- ...How do you know he isn’t going to hurt you?”

That caught Patton off guard. He had no idea what to say. The answer was easy, but the question worried him a little. Okay, it worried him a lot. “Remus, he knows me better than anyone. He knows what I like and what I don’t, and he trusts me to say something if he goes too far. Our marriage is built on communication and respect. I know he won’t hurt me for the same reason I would never ask him to use a knife. Because, even though I want to explore that, I know he doesn’t like anything dangerous. I respect that.”

Remus smiled. “Thanks. I’ll think about that. I have to go… See you this afternoon.”

And, just like that, he was gone. Patton took a moment to process what had just happened, then moved to stand in the kitchen. That seemed to be all he did these days. He hadn’t had a real break from cooking and laundry in a long time. Logan barely even talked to him anymore. It was like he didn’t care. All Patton wanted was attention. Janus’s words echoed through his head.  _ I only meant to offer a compliment to a man who deserves every affection in the world. _

Janus was nothing but a snake and a flatterer. He didn’t like Patton for who he was as a person. But of course, Patton wasn’t interested in Janus’s honesty either. He shook his head. No. He was just going to ask what he knew about Remus.

Patton ran through a rough idea of what he was going to say in his head.  _ I’m here to ask what you know about Remus. He’s been acting strange lately and I thought he spends enough time with you, he might have told you something about it. _

That sounded right. If only he could make himself stay focused long enough to say it to Janus. That wouldn’t be so hard.

At nine, Roman came downstairs and didn’t acknowledge Patton’s presence. He poured himself a glass of orange juice, drained it, then set the glass on the counter and left. Patton didn’t stop him. He didn’t ask where Roman was going. The boy needed his space. Patton had just moved Remus back into his room and the stress was probably getting to him. Everything would sort itself out in time.

An hour later, Patton hadn’t heard a single sound from upstairs. Logan was probably still asleep and Virgil would stay in his room all day and never know Patton had left. He climbed the stairs and opened his bedroom door.

Sure enough, Logan was sound asleep. Patton took a few minutes to decide what to wear, telling himself all the while that it didn’t matter because he wasn’t trying to impress anyone. He was just going to ask a question and go right back home. There was no reason to get dressed up because there was nothing to dress up for.

He left the house at ten-thirty. He would be home before Remus. Wait. Remus was working in Janus’s garden if his word was anything to go on.

Before he could turn back and return later, he had rung the bell and he was trapped.

* * *

Virgil woke up at ten-twenty. He was hungry and he needed to cry. He was also tired and numb, but those were more permanent aspects of his person than temporary states.

He reached the bottom of the stairs a few minutes later, just as the front door closed. He went to the kitchen to find something to eat, but something out the window caught his eye. Patton was halfway between their house and Janus’s. That didn’t mean anything. He was just… he was… dressed nicer than Virgil had seen him in years. No. No, no, no no no… this couldn’t be happening. Janus would own Patton’s soul if he said one wrong word.

_ She looked exhausted, but her clothes were nice and made her look very pretty. Rachel always looked pretty and tired. She set her purse by the door and collapsed into a kitchen chair. Her hair fell loose around her face and she pulled her heels off and set them on the floor. _

_ Virgil was almost eleven. He tried to ask her what was wrong, but she put a finger to her lips when she heard a noise from the next room. She put her shoes back on just before Janus opened the bedroom door. _

_ He leaned against the kitchen door frame and took a moment to survey the woman in the chair. His eyes landed on her low black pumps and he clicked his tongue a few times. “Rachel, I know you have black stilettos. Where are they?” _

_ “I’m sorry, Janus. My work doesn’t allow anything over three inches and-” _

_ “Shut up. Go change your shoes. And be quick about it.” _

_ Rachel glanced at Virgil for help, then stood and started for the bedroom. Janus didn’t look at her, but when she tried to pass him, he caught her around the waist with one arm and stuck a kiss under her ear, His other hand slapped the back of her skirt as he let her go. “Good girl. Put on some decent clothes while you’re at it. Virgil, pour me a glass of wine.” _

_ He didn’t want to. He knew what Janus was like and he knew there was nothing he could say or do. He stood up and did as he was told. He set the glass on the table and sat back in his chair. Janus could get it himself. Virgil had done the hard part. _

_ Janus crossed the kitchen and picked up the glass. He leaned against the table and took a sip before closing his eyes. “Rachel!” _

_ “Yes?” _

_ “I changed my mind,” he called through the apartment. “Put on the white stilettos and your little black dress with those fishnets. And throw your hair up in something pretty for me to take down.” _

_ A few seconds later, Rachel’s voice came again. “Which black dress?” _

_ “The new one with all the straps across the back and the slit up the side. Honestly, you should just throw out the long one. You never wear it.” _

“Are you okay? Virgil?”

He blinked a few times and took a deep breath. He wasn’t eleven. Janus wasn’t there. Rachel wasn’t being forced to dress in uncomfortable shoes and short skirts for his entertainment. Virgil was safe now. “I’m fine.”

Logan sighed and looked out the window at the empty street. Patton was nowhere to be seen. “You were hyperventilating and staring out the window. Are you sure nothing is wrong?”

* * *

Virgil pulled at the edge of his jacket sleeve. “Yeah. I’m sure. I just remembered something that happened when I was a kid. That’s all.”

Logan folded his hands on the counter. “I see. You know you can tell me anything, right? I love you and I’m here to help no matter how old you get.”

“It’s not a big deal. Don’t worry about it.”

He pressed his lips together as a question formed on his tongue. “You don’t have to tell me anything you're not comfortable sharing, but this memory… did it feel like a memory, or more like a dream? Were you just thinking about it, or did you feel that it was still happening?”

Virgil drew his eyebrows together and narrowed his eyes. “What does that have to do with anything? Sure. Yeah, it felt like it was happening again. That’s normal for me. I have vivid memories all the time.”

Logan’s shoulders dropped and he shook his head. That wasn’t good. He should have paid more attention. Of course, Virgil was afraid of sudden noises and raised voices. Logan didn’t know what he had been through, but he knew one thing. He had to be delicate about this. “Virgil… these memories… might not truly be memories.”

“What? No. Logan, they’re real. I swear, I’m not hallucinating.” Virgil tucked his arms around his chest and put his head down. “I’m not crazy. I just have really strong memories.”

“I never mean to imply they weren’t real.” Logan adjusted his glasses and took a deep breath. “I think they’re more than that. I can’t diagnose you, but it sounds like you might be experiencing flashbacks.”

Virgil’s eyes widened and he blinked a few times. “What?”

Logan felt a stab of sadness in his chest. “I’m a doctor, Virgil. I’ve seen what happens to victims of abuse. Some of that is psychological. Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder is more common than you might think. Would you like to speak with a professional? No matter what these memories are, therapy can help.”

He didn’t respond. He was processing a lot of information. Logan had just told him that maybe there was something wrong with him, but that it could be fixed. He wouldn’t have to live like this anymore. Virgil looked confused and almost upset.

“Take your time. It’s a lot to think ab-”

“You mean there’s a  _ name  _ for this? I always thought it was just a  _ bad memory! _ I could have had  _ help! _ I could have learned to  _ deal _ with it instead of hiding it!  _ Why didn’t somebody tell me that was an option?” _

Logan held his hands up as another line of defense. “Calm down. You’re stressed and confused. Yes, you could have been in therapy. You still can. I would love to do anything I can for you, but you have to know that I couldn’t have guessed what was going on if you never told me what you were feeling.”

Virgil took a few shaky breaths. “If this is so common after a shitty three years, why didn’t you bring it up when you read my case file?”

“Virgil, we-”

“No. No, don’t even try. You didn’t even read it did you? Maybe you skimmed it, but you didn’t care enough to know my story. You just wanted a cute kid because the last two weren’t enough.”

Logan couldn’t take it anymore. He would not be shamed by his youngest son. “Virgil. Stop. Patton and I learned everything we could about you before we even met you. There was nothing in there that concerned us, no record of abuse, no criminal record… nothing. The only thing that Patton was hesitant about was that you had some unexplained scars from your time in your last home. Do you know what I told him?”

Virgil shook his head, but he didn’t say anything.

“I told him that no matter what had happened to you, you needed to live here with us. He was scared that you might hurt the twins or yourself and I stood up for you.”

“Bullshit.”

Logan took a deep breath and lowered his voice. “We thought you were fine when you didn’t show symptoms right away. I should have asked. I should have been there for you, I should have tried harder to make you feel safe enough to let me know what you were going through. I’m sorry.”

Virgil turned away and headed for the stairs. “You screwed up a lot more than just me. I don’t feel one bit sorry for you.”

Logan almost followed him. “What are you-?”

“Ask Patton where he was when he gets home.”

A second later, Virgil’s door shut with a snap that filled the silent house. Logan had no idea what to make of that last comment, but he did know that his son needed more help than anyone had thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You'll notice this one doesn't have segments from Janus or Roman. Those are coming either tonight or tomorrow. Trust me, they're a whole chapter all by themselves. For now, enjoy this tragic backstory episode.


	12. But I Ain't Stupid

Roman left the house at around nine. He didn’t know why. Last night, Remus had asked him to help with something in Janus’s garden. It would be fine. It wouldn’t take long and Janus would be there as a witness. Roman had no reason not to trust him. At any rate, Remus wouldn’t try anything in front of the man who paid him. All in all, it was a pretty safe idea. Roman had no reason to say no.

He rang Janus’s doorbell and waited.

The door opened a minute later and Janus smiled at Roman. “Ah, Remus and I were wondering when you’d show up. There are a few crates in the basement that I’d like you to move to the garden. The two of you should have them out in less than an hour.”

Remus sat at the table, putting something into a cardboard shoebox. He looked up when Janus tapped his shoulder.

“Go on, then. You know where they are. I have a schedule to keep, you know.” Janus ruffled Remus’s hair with his fingers before letting him stand up. “Come on.”

Roman trailed behind as Janus showed him the garden and the door to the basement. Down the short flight of stairs lay the basement, which was empty aside from an old sofa in the corner and a few large crates against the wall.

Janus watched them both descend the stairs and pointed to the crates. “Careful. They’re heavy. If you drop them, I’ll kill you.”

Remus laughed and pulled one of the crates out of line. “I’ll be careful. You know me.”

“Hmm. That’s why I worry. You boys start moving those. I’ll be right back.”

Between the two of them, they got three of the five crates up the stairs in a half-hour. After the third one, Janus came out of the kitchen with two glasses of lemonade, one green, and one red. He put the red glass into Roman’s hand and smiled. “You two look hot. Take a break.”

Remus took the other glass and sat on top of the box. “Thanks, Janus.”

Roman tasted the lemonade and paused. It was slightly off, but he couldn’t put his finger on it. He had never had lemonade like this before. Was it… bitter? It certainly wasn’t bad, whatever it was.

Janus noticed his hesitation and waved a hand dismissively. “Basil. What you’re noticing is the basil. I’ve always made lemonade like this and I sometimes forget not everyone is used to it. My mother’s recipe.”

Five minutes later, they were back to work and both of them were still working on their lemonade. When they set the last crate down at the top of the stairs after twenty minutes, Roman and Remus had both drained their glasses and Janus had poured one for himself.

Remus knocked on the top of a crate and stuck his tongue between his teeth. “Wasn’t there something else you wanted us to do down there? I mean, as long as we’re both here.”

Janus smiled. “Thank you for reminding me. There was one thing…” He handed Remus the shoebox from earlier. “Take this.”

Roman stood to follow Remus down the stairs and almost had to sit back down again. He felt dizzy and lightheaded. It must have been hotter than he thought. He made his way down the stairs and leaned against the wall for support.

Janus stood silhouetted in the doorway. If he made an expression, Roman couldn’t see it. “Have fun, Remus. Don’t hurt him too much.”

The door shut and there was the click of a lock before Remus turned the light on. “Was that so hard?”

* * *

Janus locked the basement door and finished his drink as he cleaned up. Honestly, he was too clever for his own good sometimes. It was a blessing and a curse. Just exactly as he finished rinsing the glasses, the doorbell rang. This was more perfect than he could have imagined.

He straightened himself out in the hall mirror, then opened the door. He raised his eyebrows and turned his head slightly. “Patton? What are you doing here?”

Patton wrung his hands together and took a shaky breath. “I’m here to talk. May I come in?”

“Of course. I wasn’t expecting company. What’s this about?” Janus stepped aside to let Patton in and closed the door behind him. “I hope there isn’t a problem.”

“No, no problem. I… I wanted to ask about…” Patton’s cheeks turned pink and he didn’t meet Janus’s eye.

Janus smiled. He had almost forgotten. His shirt was still halfway open and he hadn’t bothered with a vest. Of course, it was intentional on his part. Yes. He had planned for Patton to arrive with him looking like this. May as well play it to his advantage. He subtly leaned against a chair. “Ask about what?”

“Remus.” Patton was doing his best to look at anything but Janus. The decor of the room was soft but eerie. Snake eyes peered out from every piece of furniture and every shelf, watching everything and memorizing faces. “He’s been acting weird lately and I want to know if he’s told you anything.”

“Not that I recall. Are you sure about this? It’s perfectly normal for boys his age to want a little freedom. Get out of the house. Try something new… do something dangerous. I’m sure he’s just fine.”

Patton swallowed hard and submitted to looking at the floor. “You’re right, of course. Everyone needs to switch things up sometimes.”

Janus leaned closer. “Patton... are you alright?”

“I’m fine.” He looked up and opened his mouth to say something else, then closed it again. A moment later, he was ready. “I guess I just need to switch things up a little.”

That was forward. Janus put his weight onto his feet and took a step closer. “Really? And how might a sweet man like you go about doing that?”

Patton’s hand brushed Janus’s and he smiled. His face was pale and his eyes were unfocused. “I had hoped you might have some ideas.”

It was like hearing the timer on the oven. He had to move quickly and carefully, but all his patience was going to pay off. He touched his hand to Patton’s again and slid his fingers into the hollow of his palm. “Oh, but I wouldn’t want to make any decisions for you. It’s your life.”

The hand tightened and the shoulders tensed. “It's your house.”

A chill ran down Janus’s back and he pulled Patton closer still. No matter how many times he did this, the moment the deal was sealed was always a satisfying one. “You’re the one coming to me. What did you have in mind?”

Patton closed his eyes and leaned into the touch. “Nothing drastic. Nothing too extravagant…”

Janus pulled him in the direction of the stairs. His soft arms and thighs were just right for squeezing and holding. “Simple and sweet it is, then.”

* * *

Roman couldn’t think straight. He was locked in a basement with Remus. He was… he was off balance and his vision was quickly blurring. ”Wh-what did you do to me? Did you drug me?”

Remus smiled and shook his head. “No. I didn’t do anything.”

“Bullshit.” Roman tried to take a step forward and immediately started to fall.

Before he could hit the floor, Remus’s arms were supporting him and helping him to the couch in the corner. He hated it. He wanted to leave. He wanted to fight. He wanted to not be so stupid. Of  _ course, _ that hadn’t tasted like just lemon and basil, but was he dense enough to drink all of it? Yeah. Was it kicking in now? Hell, yeah. Did he like Remus’s hands helping him sit down and pushing the hair out of his face? Hell, no.

Remus’s fingers touched the skin under Roman’s shirt and pulled it over his head. Roman couldn’t do anything to stop him. “Can you put that back?”

Remus chuckled under his breath and ran his hands down Roman’s bare chest. His fingers were cool and slightly rough, skating over the skin of Roman’s stomach like a kitten’s weightless paws. “Princey, you’re so shy. Close your eyes and take a few breaths. I’m sure you’ll feel better.”

Roman tried to grab Remus’s wrist, but he could only hold it with the strength of a piece of paper. “Course I’m shy, dumbass. I don’t want to be here.”

* * *

Janus shut the bedroom door and guided Patton to the bed. The room was spacious and comfortable. It was well furnished with antiques from every year since the British owned America, with a snake in a glass case against one wall and a display of knives hanging on the other. Everything was some shade of gray except for the yellow accents every once in a while.

Patton sat on the edge of the bed and looked up at Janus with an ocean of doubt in his eyes. He didn’t smile, but he did lean in when Janus touched his neck and opened his lips.

The hardest part was always navigating through the first few minutes. Patton was still scared and aware enough to be hesitant. Janus had to be careful. He only brushed his lips against Patton’s enough to make him want more. “Is something wrong?”

“...no. I was just thinking that…”

“Whatever it is,” Janus whispered into the space between their lips, “can wait.”

* * *

Remus gently pulled his fingers away from Roman’s body and opened the cardboard shoebox. He reached into it and ran his tongue over his lips. “Princey… give me your hands.”

Roman shook his head. “No. I don’t… want to. You’re going to hurt me.”

He let out a sharp laugh and took Roman’s wrists as he rose and moved to stand behind him. The leather was soft and smooth, like a high-end glove. It felt almost nice against Roman’s skin, even when Remus pulled his arms behind his back and bound them together.

Remus’s hands ran down Roman’s sides and his skin seemed to shrink in their wake. They slid around to open the button on his jeans. His lips brushed the top of Roman’s ear and his whisper almost got caught in his hair. “I won’t hurt you. I love you, Princey.”

* * *

Janus moved his lips to kiss Patton’s jaw and start a trail down his neck. Everything was right. He reached the collar of Patton’s shirt and undid the buttons as he continued to travel down his chest.

Patton was distracted by something. He slipped his fingers into Janus’s hair and took a sharp breath when the kisses reached his sternum. “Mmh… Janus?”

He paused. He pulled himself away and turned Paton’s face to his. “You had a question?”

“Are those…” Patton hesitated. He was unsure, but there was a spark of interest in his voice. “Are those for display only?”

Janus followed Patton’s gaze to the case of knives on the wall. He smiled. So Remus had been right after all. It had been a stroke of brilliance to display the collection in such a conspicuous spot. “Mmm… yes. Aren’t they pretty? Would you like me to show them to you?”

* * *

Roman tried to say something, but he was too disoriented and scared to string two words together. All he got was a few mumbled syllables. It was worse than the first time. The first time, he had been able to scream. The first time, he had known someone was coming to help. All he could do now was whimper and wait for the tears to start sliding down his face.

Remus pulled the zipper down and let his mouth settle into the crook of Roman’s neck, then he moved to kneel in front of Roman and pull his jeans off.

All he had left was a thin layer of cotton, his shoes and socks, and a pair of leather cuffs around his wrists. “Please… please don’t...”

“Please?”

Janus stood and crossed the room. He examined the knives and selected a short dagger with a marbled gray and yellow hilt. The blade was engraved with a snake entwined in a flowering vine. “This is one of my personal favorites. Elegant… easy to control… sharp as a tack.”

Patton took a shaky breath and his eyes were trained on the dagger. He didn’t shrink back. “Show me.”

* * *

Remus slid Roman’s shoes and socks off, then kissed his ankle and smiled. “Princey… are you getting impatient? Do you want me to hurry up already? Put my mouth on you and make you scream my name like you’ve always wanted to?”

Roman would have kicked him if he could, but all he could do was let out ragged breaths and try to focus on the tears running down his cheeks instead of the hands running up his legs.

The hands skillfully removed the last thing between Roman and the room. His wrists were still bound behind his back, but that was the only thing on his body. He had no way to stop Remus from brushing his fingers over his skin and putting a kiss on his knee, then another and another until he reached the top of his thigh.

* * *

The tip of the dagger landed in the center of Patton’s chest and Janus didn’t apply any pressure. If he had pressed even the tiniest bit, there would be blood everywhere. “Unless you brought a spare shirt, I’d suggest you take this one off before I cut it off.”

Patton did as he was told and didn’t break eye contact with the blade.

Janus held the dagger aimed at Patton’s heart as he watched his victim slowly undress and sit on the edge of the bed with his knees apart and his lips parted. Janus stepped closer and tipped Patton’s chin up with the end of the blade. “Good boy. Now lie down where I can tie you up. I never use knives without a little rope.”

* * *

Remus’s tongue moved across Roman’s body and only paused for a moment before he started to put as much of Roman into his mouth as he could fit.

It hurt. The skin burned and Remus’s hands under his knees only made the sensations worse. He could barely see. Everything was blurry and hot and damn, he was tired. He couldn’t speak, he couldn’t think, and he couldn’t even put up a decent fight.

All he could do was squirm. That just made Remus hold tighter. Roman could keep quiet anymore. He broke like an egg and spilled down Remus’s chin. “Uhhh-hu… mmnnnghuu… St-stop… aahhhnnnmm…”

* * *

Janus climbed on top of Patton and set the knife on the nightstand. He pulled a soft, smooth white rope from the drawer and started to lace it around Patton’s arms to keep them over his head. “Do you like this? Are you comfortable?”

Patton nodded. He stayed as still as possible and watched Janus with a fascinated kind of horror.

He bound Patton’s wrists to the bedpost and picked up the knife. “Just to be sure… if you ever want me to stop, say something. Pick anything.”

* * *

Roman strained against the cuffs as best he could, but he was so damn tired. All he could do was pray Remus would be done soon. That’s the only thought he could hold onto. It didn’t help, and it didn’t make him any less sick, but it was something. This wasn’t going to last forever.

When Remus finally pulled away and stood up, Roman let himself hope that it was over.

Remus placed one knee on either side of Roman’s hips and pulled his own shirt off. His chest was a smooth, firm tan that could only come from working in the sun. “Your turn.”

* * *

Janus chuckled under his breath when he heard the phrase Patton whispered. “Is that what you use with Logan?”

Patton closed his eyes and bit his lip.

“Oh, it’s perfectly fine. At least you’ll remember it this way.” He lightly drew the tip of the dagger from the hollow of Patton’s throat down his chest and abdomen. “It’s sweet, really.”

* * *

Remus walked his fingers up Roman’s abdomen and chest to the hollow of Roman’s throat. He unbuttoned his pants and let out a low sigh. He smiled, mouth half-open, eyes half-shut. 

“Duke…” He wanted to tell Remus to leave him alone. He wanted to tell him to stop and give his clothes back. He wanted to stop feeling so disoriented and numb.

“Yes, my prince? You had something to say?”

* * *

Janus absently scratched a thin white line into the soft, easily punctured skin of Patton’s thigh. “Are you afraid of me?”

“Mmh… mmhmm.” Patton opened his mouth and strained against his bonds as Janus ran the knife back up his leg. There was a certain kind of pleasure to be had in drawing blood, but the real rush lay in not harming the poor victim at all.

“Is that a good thing? Do you like being afraid?”

“Yes.”

* * *

“No.” Roman couldn’t even struggle at this point. All he could do was try his best not to choke.

Remus was thick and heavy and forceful and he tasted almost sweet. Not that Roman could focus on that or wanted to. He was far too busy keeping himself from gagging. He hated it. He hated the hands in his hair and the straps binding his wrists. He hated Remus more than anything.

* * *

Janus fell silent and let the cold blade do the talking. Besides, the sounds from Patton’s mouth were too delicious to interrupt. He barely touched the skin with the dagger and didn’t even bush Patton’s body with his hands. The less contact, the better. It really let him focus on the singular point that could turn red at any moment.

* * *

Remus sighed and moaned as he shoved himself deeper into Roman’s throat. He gripped Roman’s hair and took a sharp breath. “See how nice this is? You were made for me. Mama always said she wanted to see us like this.” 

* * *

The soft skin gave willingly under the pressure of the blade. It was almost as if Patton was built to be teased and tested like this.

* * *

Roman couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t move and he wanted his skin to be as numb as his brain. Remus pulled away and kissed his forehead.

* * *

A perfect bead of blood appeared at the tip of the dagger, just under Patton’s last rib.

* * *

A single tear slid down Roman’s cheek and dripped off his chin.

* * *

Patton hissed through his teeth.

Roman let out a sob.

Janus untied the rope.

Remus undid the cuffs.

Heaven.

Hell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There you are, CrowsAce. I hope you're happy.


	13. It Started Out With A Kiss, How Did It End Up Like This?

Virgil felt like shit. He had been in his room since he had stormed out on Logan. The anger was gone and now all he had was the confusion and sadness. Fortunately, he was an expert at wasting time on Tumblr until those feelings forgot to hurt anymore. He caught a glimpse of the clock out of the corner of his eye and leaned back in his chair. It had been three hours. Shit. He needed a break.

The hall was quieter than his room. He missed the sounds of the desk fan and Green Day through his old, broken headphones. It wasn’t silent out here, though. He could hear something at the end of the hall. The bathroom door was shut. It sounded like crying.

Virgil crept down the hall as carefully as he could. It was someone crying. It didn’t sound like Patton, and it couldn’t have been Logan. Remus would be in his room or at Janus’s house. That was no guarantee, though. He had been surprised before and nothing was predictable in this house anymore.

He knocked on the bathroom door and closed his eyes. Whoever was in there would answer. All Virgil wanted was to know who it was.

“Go away.”

That was one of the twins. Virgil folded his arms and stared at his socks. He almost turned to leave, but then the sobs turned into retching and he stopped. He put a hand on the door handle but didn’t try to turn it. “Are you okay?”

“Virgil?” It was Roman. “Don’t leave.”

He tried the handle and was in no way surprised when it didn’t open. “Princey, can you open the door?”

No answer. More dry heaving.

Virgil sank to the floor and leaned back against the door. “It’s okay. You don’t have to do anything. I’m here. Take a deep breath and run some cold water over your wrists if you feel up to it.”

Roman fell silent. The fan turned on.

“If you don’t want to stand up, you can put your wrists on the floor. It’s cold, right?”

“...thanks.”

Virgil smiled a little. He was just repeating what he had heard from Logan and Rachel. Logan… he had spent so much energy on Virgil over the last eight years that there was no way Virgil would ever be able to pay him back.

“Are you still there?”

“I’m here. I’m here… Roman, do you want to tell me what happened?”

Roman didn’t say anything for a long time. It was almost long enough for Virgil to think he wasn’t going to answer. “I'm sorry.”

Virgil pulled at the edges of his sleeves. “Sorry? For what?”

Another long pause. “I treat you like shit. I blew you off when you said Remus tried to f-” he cut himself off with another attempt to empty his stomach.

“Roman, that’s okay. I don’t blame you. Whatever Remus did to you…  shit, Princey, I don’t know what to do.”

The sink hissed for a few moments, then the lock on the door snapped open. “Virgil?” 

Virgil stood up. “Yeah?”

Roman opened the door and didn’t look up. He was a mess. His hair was tangled and his face was red as a raspberry. His eyes were swollen and bloodshot. A patchy red mark sat on his neck and crept below the edge of his shirt. “Thank you.”

He slowly opened his arms. He hated physical contact, but he knew that Roman lived off the stuff. “Do you… want a hug?”

It was subtle, almost enough to be imaginary, but Roman smelled like his brother. He smelled like cigarette smoke and that unnameable Remus smell. This was the second time in his life Virgil had held someone like this. It was strange. Roman was bigger than Virgil and stronger and always knew what to say and do. Virgil was just a confused kid who needed a nap. Roman could have crushed Virgil if he wanted to.

“I'm sorry I didn’t take you seriously before.”

Virgil nodded into Roman’s chest. “That’s okay. I wouldn’t have taken me seriously either.”

Roman rested his head on Virgil’s shoulder and squeezed him a little tighter. “No. I knew he was like this.”

He didn’t know exactly what happened, but he knew he loved Roman and he knew he didn’t want him to live like this. He started to gently pull away and Roman let him go. Virgil stuck his hands in his pockets and took a breath. “Hey, I know you’re not feeling great, but have you eaten today?”

Roman shook his head and folded his arms.

“Do you think you can eat? Would that help?”

“Yeah. Sure.”

“Come on. Let’s go downstairs. I’ll lock the doors and shut the curtains. No one will get in and I’ll be right there if he tries.”

Roman slowly made his way down the stairs behind Virgil and almost fell twice. Virgil offered to help but didn’t dare touch him. He had no idea what Remus had done. There was no way to know might send Roman into something like what Virgil had been living for almost half his life.

They stood in the kitchen and Virgil opened the refrigerator. He made Roman something to eat, asking him exactly what he wanted if only to keep him talking.

As he was working, he remembered the last time he had been alone in the kitchen with Roman. They had been baking and laughing and getting flour everywhere. Roman had pulled Virgil out of his shell. It felt like forever ago now. It hurt to see his strong, handsome, eternally put-together brother like this. He hated Remus like he had hated Janus all this time. First Rachel, now Roman… and if Patton had done what Virgil thought he did…

* * *

Logan unlocked the kitchen door and paused when he saw Virgil desperately trying to calm Roman. He didn’t try to interrupt. He slipped around them as carefully as he could and made his way upstairs. Patton wasn’t in the kitchen. He was probably out in the garden. Otherwise, he could be anywhere.

He needed his husband. He had been so  _ close. _ If he had had more time… if he had been more focused. If the mother had brought the girl in sooner. No… it wasn't the mother’s fault. Logan had gotten distracted and a family suffered because of it. Patton would know what to tell him. He could make Logan feel better after the worst days and the hardest falls. Then again, he might not be in this situation without Patton. No. That wasn’t an excuse. Patton had been acting off and Virgil had said something earlier, but he should have been able to focus. He was tired and worried, but his job was more important than that.

When Logan opened the bedroom door, he smiled. Of course, he would be up here. “Patton?”

His husband sat on the edge of the bed facing away from the door, leaning on his arm which was propped up on the nightstand. He was doing something with his hands, but he tried to hide whatever it was when he heard Logan’s voice. He didn’t turn to look at him.

The spark of hope in Logan’s heart vanished and he took a few steps into the room. The atmosphere was heavy and sour, like the silence after the last breath of a ten-year-old girl. “What’s wrong? Are you upset?”

Patton didn’t respond.

“What’s going-?” Logan stopped when he came around the end of the bed and saw Patton’s face.

His eyes were red and unfocused. His face was flushed. He tried to turn away.

Logan reached out and gently pulled the near-empty glass out of Patton’s hand. He wanted to know everything, but right now there was one thing that took priority. “Are you okay?”

Patton closed his eyes and a wave of big, wet tears rolled down his soft, red cheeks. He folded in on himself and shook his head.

“Patton, what’s wrong?” Logan set the glass next to the bottle on the nightstand. “I’m here. I’ve got you.”

“Damn it, Logan, where were you when I got home?”

Logan sat next to his husband and gathered him into his arms. He might have been surprised that Patton had cursed, but he was too shaken by the sight of him drinking. “I was working. I wanted to say goodbye, but you weren’t here. Can you tell me why you’re upset?”

Patton pushed Logan away. “I need to be alone.”

“No. You’ve been alone for weeks. You need a real break. You need to tell me what happened so I can fix it.”

He didn’t answer. He stared at the floor and scraped his hands over his eyes, trying desperately to hide his tears. His body shook like an abandoned house in a storm.

Logan very gently took his husband’s face in his hands and closed his eyes. “Listen. I know something bad happened, and I know it upset you. Maybe you even think it was your fault. Whatever it was, you need to trust that I want to help.”

Patton slid his arms around Logan’s waist and buried his face against his neck. His words were muffled but the intention was clear. He had done something he regretted. “I love you.”

“I know.” He didn’t know anything. He wanted Patton to trust him. He wanted his family to be happy. He wanted Roman to feel safe. He needed to do something.

Just when Logan thought Patton wasn’t going to say anything else, the hand on his back gripped his shirt. “I had sex with Janus.”

The words made sense. The words fit together into a complete, grammatically correct sentence. It was what that sentence meant that didn’t compute. Logan could piece together a vague idea, but he wasn’t about to assume specifics without more information. “You… wh… what? Patton, what does that mean?”

Patton slowly pulled back. He took a breath and blinked a few times as if the dim light hurt his eyes. “I don’t understand.”

“Neither do I.” Logan removed Patton’s glasses and wiped the tears off his husband’s face with his thumb. He wanted to trust him. He wanted to think that it was a joke or a miscommunication. He wanted to think it was just the alcohol talking, but Patton never touched the stuff. This was something huge. “Tell me what happened.”

Patton pushed Logan away and scrambled to his feet. “You know  _ damn well what happened!” _

Logan shook his head. He knew how weak Patton’s will was and he knew how easy it would be for someone to take advantage of him. He had seen it before. It had been a near-monthly occurrence before they got married, but it had been almost twelve years since then.

After the initial shock wore off, the reality settled in. Patton had cheated on him for the first time since saying ‘I do’ and it burned. Logan swallowed a curse and bit back a question. “Patton, I-”

“You what? You’re sorry? You should have seen this coming? Tell me something I  _ don’t _ know!” His face was twisted and distorted by shame, guilt, anger, and something cold. He had never handled these things well and all of it was amplified and distorted by the alcohol.

“I love you.”

Patton froze. It took a long minute for him to move, but he reached out a hand and held it open, requesting his glasses back. “Bullshit.”

Logan set the glasses on the bed and stood. He was fine until he heard the ‘I hate myself’ in Patton’s voice. Again. It was like listening to a broken record. “No. The only bullshit here is whatever the hell you’ve been up to behind my back. I’m sick of it. I thought we were over this, I thought you had changed, I thought you cared enough about this family to keep your selfish lust under control, but  _ clearly _ old habits die hard and you’re too weak to try.”

It only took a second for Patton to shift back into the role of the victim. His eyes filled with tears. He shook his head and tried to explain. “No, Logan, that’s isn’t what-!”

“Shut up.” Logan didn’t want to let his emotions drive him, but damn it, Patton had no self-control and no desire to stay faithful. “I don’t want to hear your excuses. I don’t care what he said to you,  _ you should have said no. _ I trusted you time and time again, but you never  _ learned _ ! You told me it would never happen again and I  _ believed you _ . I may have been stupid for trusting you, but you broke my heart like it was an Olympic sport. Remind me why the hell I let you marry me?”

Patton bit his lip and took a step back. “Logan… I’m sorry. I screwed up. Sit down. Logan? ...Loganberry?”

Logan was too full of anger to swallow his whore of a husband’s paper-thin apology. He grabbed Patton’s wrists and practically threw him against the wall. “You  _ bitch! _ I don’t care if the bastard held a knife to your throat and  _ raped you!  _ You  _ deserve  _ it! I should have left you a long time ago, but I didn’t want Virgil and Roman to have to live through that!”

“Ow! Let go! Logan,  _ stop!” _

He only got about two good blows in before he heard a sound from behind him.  _ Shit _ . He didn’t move. He couldn’t risk turning on whoever was at the door. It was either Virgil or Roman and it was probably Virgil. How long had he been there? How much had he heard?

Everything was silent. He slowly let go of his husband and turned to face the door. “Virgil, I-”

Virgil didn’t wait to hear his apology. “Janus was right. He is the only person I can trust. I don’t really care what you two do to each other, but could you keep it down a little? Roman and I are trying to talk.”

By the time Logan could speak, Virgil was gone and the house was quiet again. He had failed as a husband, he had failed as a father, and he had failed as a surgeon.

Patton sat on the floor, noiseless sobs shaking his body like waves on the ocean.

* * *

He couldn’t think. He felt like shit. He had no idea where he was supposed to be. According to his parents, he should be married to a woman and working in some office he hated. But Logan was the man of the house, which put Patton in the kitchen or the bedroom if he wanted to keep things balanced. At any rate, he had no right to do what he had done.

All he could do was wait for Logan to either hit him again or demand a real apology. It felt like forever.

Logan’s voice was low and soft, like rolling thunder. “Are you okay?”

Patton hadn’t been okay for weeks. “Yes.”

“Can you stand?”

His knees almost fell back to the floor at Logan’s feet. “Yes.”

“Do you want me to hold you?”

Lying again hurt more than Logan’s anger. “Yes.”

The arms of his lover and friend were strong and warm and nothing like Janus’s cold, slender limbs. He should have felt safe. He wanted to die. Everything was wrong and he wanted to burn in hell until his skin smelled like Logan again. Maybe then he would learn not to give himself away.

Logan tucked a kiss into the crook of Patton’s neck and ran his long, thin fingers through Patton’s hair. “It’s okay. I still love you. I still love you. I’ll always love you and I appreciate your honesty. Thank you for telling me. I still love you.”

Patton nodded. He would forever admire Logan’s ability to say he loved him. It was like he believed that Patton could change.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think I like this split chapter thing. I might do it for a while. Anyway, that happened and now things get to get better, right? Well... probably not. I have plans.


	14. It Was Only A Kiss (It Was Only A Kiss)

Roman sat on the couch, wrapped in a blanket. He had eaten and showered and Virgil had just gone upstairs to ask Logan and Patton to shut up. Was anything in Janus’s basement real? It didn’t feel like it. The aches and bruises were real enough, but he had been slipping in and out of consciousness for most of it. He closed his eyes and pulled the edges of the blanket closer around his shoulders.

Virgil’s voice broke the silence like an egg. “I’m back. I think they’re going to be quiet now, but just in case, we can go somewhere else if you want to. We can leave the house and find somewhere you feel safe.”

“Okay.” He was numb. He wasn’t scared or angry or in pain. He couldn’t feel his skin or his mouth and his voice sounded like a stranger. Roman stood up and shed the blanket onto the couch.

He and Virgil left without another moment’s thought. They walked through town for a while, just breathing fresh air and being away from the house. Roman almost felt bad for dragging Virgil out here, but he was too busy trying not to cry again.

Everything was too bright and loud and Roman just wanted to go sleep in his own bed and wake up from this nightmare in the morning. His jacket was too hot, but taking it off meant exposing his arms. He had no way of knowing that Remus wasn’t watching him right then from some dark alley, taking pictures and making silent promises.

He must have expressed his desire to get off the street because the next thing he knew, there was a bell chiming and an overwhelming smell of coffee. He didn’t smile. He just sat on his chair in the little coffee shop while Virgil tried to get a word in around Uncle Remy’s fussing.

“Hey, welcome to- You two look like you’ve been through hell. I haven’t seen you in a while, V. What’s up? Is everything okay? I mean, I think I would have heard if something happened, but better safe than sorry. You look tired. Do you want anything to drink?”

“I’m fine. I’ve had a long few weeks. Remy, this isn’t about me.”

Uncle Remy stopped and leaned across the counter. “So I was right. Remus is up to something. What did he do this time?”

Virgil glanced at Roman and took a deep breath. “Do you want me to tell him?”

Roman had no reason to keep it a secret. Besides, Virgil didn’t know the whole story anyway. He nodded. “Yeah. Go ahead.”

“All I know is that… Remus has been acting weird and he…” Virgil put a hand over his mouth and didn’t look at Remy. “He assaulted Roman. Twice. I don’t know exactly what happened the second time, but Roman told me he was drugged and raped.”

Roman closed his fist on the counter. “I want you to take me to New York.”

Remy put a hand over Roman’s and adjusted his shades. “Honey, I would love to take you. Maybe not New York, but somewhere. You don’t want to go somewhere that fast right now, anyway. Seattle, maybe. Minneapolis is nice in June.”

He couldn’t say anything. He wanted to get as far away from Florida as he could. It had always been New York. That was where he was going to finally live a life without his bastard brother. That was going to be his fresh start.

“But if you’re set on New York, I’ll get you there. Maybe for your birthday. You’re turning twenty-one, right?”

“Yeah. That’d be nice.” Roman looked at Virgil and tried to tell him he wanted to go home without opening his mouth.

Virgil nodded. “Okay. Thanks, Uncle Remy. Bye.”

Remy smiled and shrugged. “What are uncles for? I’ll get you out of here, Princey. We can leave as soon as the first if you think you’ll be ready.”

“I’m ready now.”

* * *

Remus came home through the front door, thanked the stars no one was around and brought Roman upstairs. Princey was still out of it and didn’t respond to much. Honestly, the sense of power was better than any drug Remus had ever had. He set Roman on his bed and sat down to run his fingers through the soft, tangled hair. His brother was attractive beyond belief. Why couldn’t Remus look like that? In theory, they were identical, but Roman was somehow the pretty one.

Roman’s eyes opened and he tried to slap Remus’s hand away.

“Hey, now. Don’t be like that.” Remus caught Roman’s hand and kissed it, closing his eyes to remember the dark basement. “I was just looking.”

He didn’t respond. Remus sighed and slid his hand up under Roman’s shirt. He hadn’t been this satisfied in a long time. “Princey… are you awake?”

Nothing. Roman didn’t even move. He was out like a light. He was painfully beautiful. Remus wanted to live with him forever and wake up every morning to kiss those lips and hold that body in his arms. They were built for each other. It hurt to be apart.

Remus leaned down and set his lips on Roman’s and bit him ever so gently. He slowly stood and let out the breath he hadn’t realized he was holding. He had nothing to do and nowhere to be. He was exhausted.

He moved to his bed and closed his eyes. If it had been anyone else, he might think it was tame and dull. Roman made it special. Roman was the only one who had made Remus want to come back.

Sleep took him until he heard yelling in Patton and Logan’s room. After that, he looked up and saw that Roman was gone. He looked through his photographs and re-folded Roman’s shirts in his dresser until someone came to tell him it was time to eat.

Halfway through dinner, Remus almost dropped his fork onto his plate. He looked up and instantly forgot about dinner. The silence had been stifling before, but Roman’s words burned like ice.  _ Leaving? For New York? In eight days? _ He couldn’t be serious. “No, you’re not.”

Roman hadn’t touched his food, and his eyes were tied to his hands. “Yes, I am. Uncle Remy offered to take me for my birthday.”

“But it’s my birthday, too. You should be here with me! You can’t leave. Father, tell Roman he has to  _ stay here and-” _

Roman didn’t wait for Remus to finish stating his case. “Oh, please! I am not going to subject myself to turning twenty-one with  _ him! _ If you think you can tell me what to do-!”

_ “-can’t even talk to me without treating me like a-” _

“-no sense of  _ respect! _ I hate him and-”

_ “-going to take his side and let him leave without-” _

“-let him walk all over me like some-”

“Enough!” Logan stood and the table fell back into silence. “Both of you, shut up. Stop acting like children. Roman, if you want to leave, I can’t stop you. Remus, let it go.”

The rest of dinner was the same as the beginning. Tense. Heavy. Deafeningly quiet. As soon as Remus was done, he put his plate in the sink and slipped out the garage door.

There was a light on in Janus’s living room. He was still awake.

Remus rang the bell and tried to smile when the door opened.

* * *

Janus had one foot up the stairs when the doorbell rang. He turned around and crossed the living room, shaking his head and mumbling under his breath. “Now who could that be?” 

He turned the handle and opened the door, then raised an eyebrow. “What’s this about? I was just going to bed.”

Remus shifted his weight and sighed. “It’s an emergency.”

Janus beckoned Remus inside and slid a hand around the boy’s waist to rest in the back pocket of his jeans. Sleep could wait. “What kind of emergency?”

Remus looked helpless and lost. He clearly couldn’t explain himself without a chance to gather his wits and organize his thoughts. Janus pulled him closer and absently squeezed him a little. He led Remus up the stairs and to his room, exploring the boy’s skin with his lips.

When he had dragged Remus to the bed and started to undress him, Janus asked again. “What did you need to tell me that couldn’t wait until morning?”

Remus put his hands behind Janus’s thighs and opened his mouth like a well-trained dog. “I’m scared Roman is leaving.”

Janus kissed Remus and stripped off his shirt without opening his eyes or breaking contact. He pulled away to lie on the bed, opening his pants and legs as he moved. “Really? What makes you so sure?”

“He said so.” Remus let Janus pull him over and obediently climbed on top of him. “He said that he was going to New York on the first. Mmh… that feels nice.”

“You like it?” Janus slid his hand up Remus’s spine again and ran his fingers over the firm, defined muscles on his chest. “I’m sure that won’t be an issue. If you’re really worried, you can take him to my place in California. It’s only a two-day drive and the house has a beautiful view.”

Remus didn’t resist when Janus touched his chin and guided him down for another kiss. He didn’t fight when Janus’s hands ran up and down his sides. “I’d like that. Would you be there?”

Janus pulled Remus down on top of him and moved his hands a few inches from where they sat over his lower back. “I might fly out there tomorrow. I’ve needed a vacation and it could be nice, just the three of us.”

Remus let out a long, low whine and his teeth just barely touched the side of Janus’s neck. He was past words. All he could do was bite and moan and grind himself against Janus’s body.

“Of course, I wouldn’t ask to do anything but watch unless you wanted me to join you.” Janus opened his neck for Remus to nip and kiss as he worked. His fingernails drew thin, white lines in Remus’s skin and only dug deeper as Remus got more comfortable on top of him. “I’d be willing to hold him down for you or take over if you get tired.”

Remus reached a hand down to get better leverage. His eyes were rolled back and his mouth hung open, but he was still pressing himself against Janus, so there was no reason to complain. He couldn’t even answer.

Janus had complete control over Remus. He smiled and reached his fingers into Remus’s hair.

A minute later, Remus was on his elbows and knees at the foot of the bed. Janus lay under him with his ankles making their way up the skin of Remus’s sides while he let the dear boy work his mouth around him.

Janus lifted his hips against Remus’s teeth and let off some pressure into his mouth. He almost wondered what would have happened if he had kept Patton around. Maybe for another hour, possibly a week… it had been a while since he had such an easily molded pet. Of course, Remus was certainly getting there. “How did it go with Roman earlier?”

Remus took a second to mumble something, but Janus couldn’t understand a word of it. It sounded like he was trying to talk with his mouth full of something big and heavy, but Janus had  _ no idea _ what  _ that _ might be…

“Try again. I didn’t quite catch that.”

Remus gently pulled his mouth away and took a slow breath. “I said he’s perfect. He was very polite and sweet… he was pliable like you said. Thank you for giving him to me. It was a nice present. Did Patton ever show up?”

Janus ran his foot up Remus’s spine to his neck and grabbed his hair in his fist, guiding him back into position.

“He was thrilled when I pulled out that knife. Honestly, I can see why Logan stuck around him for as long as he has. I had my doubts concerning his personality, but that man is exactly the kind of break I needed. I may invite him over again sometime… just to chat and hold and maybe slice up while he’s immobilized.”

“Mmhmm…” Remus wasn’t even listening. If he was, he didn’t care. At least he was good at what he was doing. Janus almost wanted to ask how much practice he had.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, well, well... it looks like we have quite the situation on our hands. Patton and Logan have their soap opera and can't pay attention to the kids. So of course, Virgil has to step up and deal with Roman. One might say that Virgil is getting close to a boiling point and might blow up at anyone who touches the wrong nerve... who's to say?
> 
> I suppose all that's left to do now is wait until next week to hear the thrilling continuation. Okay, not seeing a lot of thrill next time, but soon. Very soon.


	15. Miles of Clouded Hell

Patton sat on the edge of the bed, silently watching Logan change into his pajamas. It hurt to look at him. To know that he had betrayed a man who deserved only loyalty. He had betrayed him again. Logan’s shoulders practically glowed in the dim light. His skin wasn’t perfect, but it was perfect for Patton. Logan was always exactly what Patton needed. Always. There was no reason to go to anyone else. There was nothing Patton needed that Logan couldn’t provide. Everything he needed was right in front of him.

Logan glanced at Patton’s face in the mirror and looked back down. His eyes held something like anger. His voice was softer than a rose. “I’m sorry for what happened earlier.”

“No, you’re r-”

He turned and took two steps toward the bed. “Patton, I shouldn’t have hit you. I was angry and confused and… and I forgot that I love you. You messed up, but I didn’t do the right thing either. Can you forgive me for what I did to you?”

Patton breathed in and looked up at his husband’s face. He had every reason— every  _ right _ to be upset. Patton wouldn’t blame him if he packed his things and was gone by morning. There was no way Patton could justify holding Logan’s actions against him. “Yes. I forgive you. I swear it won’t happen again. I’m done hurting you.”

Logan touched Patton’s knee and smiled when his husband looked him in the eye. “Hey… thank you. Let’s go to bed. I’m sure you’ll feel better in the morning.”

They climbed into bed and Patton put a kiss just under Logan’s ear. “I’m sorry I’m so weak.”

“I know. Get some sleep. I’m not mad at you.”

Patton closed his eyes. He couldn’t sleep in the same bed as Logan. It hurt too much. If Logan wasn’t mad at him, then did that mean he didn’t care? Was Logan just as restless as Patton? He didn’t know what he would do if Logan snapped and slept with someone else. He was such a hypocrite.

* * *

Remus had to move quickly and carefully. If Uncle Remy really was planning to take Roman away on the first, then Remus would just have to get him out of the state before then.

He stuck the shovel into what was left of the pile of dirt. Most of it was back in the hole, on top of seven-and-a-half human corpses. The empty crates sat against the fence. Remus was almost done burying the result of Janus’s little hobby, but his mind had already moved on to the next task. How was he supposed to keep Roman within reach?

“Something wrong?” Janus called from his chair by the house. “You look distracted.”

He was distracted. If Roman left, he would be alone. They had promised each other that even if everyone else abandoned them, they would stick together. Remus needed his prince and Roman needed his duke. “What? Yeah… I’m fine. How far did you say it was to your place in California?”

“Two days if you don’t run into trouble. Do you have a car?”

Remus leaned against the shovel and shrugged. “I’ll probably take Logan’s.”

Janus shook his head. “Too obvious. Too risky. Get back to work. I’ll find a way. And, Remus?”

“Hm?”

“Don’t worry.” He smiled and reached for his glass. “You’ll get your prince.”

Remus did as he was told. The work helped keep his nerves down. Even if Roman did leave with Uncle Remy, there was no way he could hide forever.

Three days passed before Janus left to get the house ready and Remus decided it was time.

* * *

Virgil didn’t even bother telling Logan and Patton before he called Uncle Remy. They were too busy turning into every other couple Virgil had lived with to notice or care.

_ “Hey, Virgil. How’s it going? You never call me.” _

“I know. I uh… I think Remus kidnapped Roman.”

Something crashed on the other end and Remy took a second to answer. “Sorry about that. Dropped something. What? I mean, I wouldn’t put it past him, but… what’s the plan?”

Virgil sank to the floor before he could fall. His room was dark and quiet except for the fan. It was grounding. “I don’t have one yet. I was hoping you would know what to do.”

_ “Okay. Do you have an idea of where he might go? Did he mention any people? Places? Landmarks?” _

Virgil couldn’t answer. He had the information Remy needed, and he knew that Remy would be able to help as soon as he said something, but he couldn’t. The note from the twins’ door stared up at him from his hand.

_ Taking Roman to see the sights and become a real actor. - R _

“I think they’re going to California.”

_ “That’s a start. Do you want to come with me, or should I go by myself?” _

“I don’t want to be here with Patton and Logan right now.”

_ “I’ll be there in twenty minutes.” _

Virgil thanked Remy and hung up. Damn it. Why? Roman had asked Virgil if he wanted to come to New York with them just last night. He had hated the thought, but he had said yes because he didn’t want Roman to feel alone. Shit. Where was he now? Alone with that disgusting octopus. It hurt to think about.

* * *

The sun wasn’t supposed to be that bright. Roman raised a hand to shield his eyes. He was sitting up. In… a car? What was going-? He opened his eyes and everything made sense. Well, as much sense as anything involving Remus ever did. He didn’t recognize the car, but the highway was at least somewhat familiar. “Where are we?”

Remus squeezed Roman’s thigh and glanced at him. “Morning, Princey. Did I wake you up?”

Roman tried to push Remus’s hand away, but he felt that same sort of weak and disoriented from Janus’s basement. “Where are you taking me?”

“Do you want me to turn the radio on? As long as you’re awake, I mean.”

If he was going to avoid the question, there was no point in asking again. He didn’t have to let Remus wall all over him, though. “No.”

Remus ran his thumb along the outside seam of Roman’s jeans. “Okay. Let me know if you get hungry.”

———

The next thing Roman was aware of was the high, whiny sound of a car crossing a bridge. He opened his eyes and tried to focus on the scene before him. It didn’t look much different than anything he was used to. How long had he been asleep?

“About three hours. Welcome to Alabama, by the way.”

He had asked out loud? Alabama? “What?”

Remus chuckled and smiled at him with a dangerous kind of charm. “Don’t worry. I know where we’re going.”

That was the problem.

“You sure you don’t want anything to eat?”

Roman shrugged. Even if he was hungry, he didn’t think he could eat right then.

———

“Michael Jackson?”

Remus laughed before he turned the radio down. “Billy Idol, and good afternoon.”

Roman didn’t look at him. He stared out the window for a while. It still looked a lot like Florida, but something was off. The trees were different and the ground wasn’t flat enough. He couldn’t think. He couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t move.

“Something wrong?”

He didn’t answer.

“If you’re wondering, we’re in Louisiana. Almost to Texas. We’ll stop there for the night.”

———

The sound of the engine turning off wasn’t what woke Roman up, but it did get him to open his eyes. The sky was dark and full of stars. The trees were full and green and dense. It would be almost impossible to find someone through the night and the woods.

Remus’s hand slid over his thigh and squeezed. “You wanna lie down? I’ve kept you in here all day and I’m sure you’re getting uncomfortable.”

He was getting uncomfortable alright. “I’ll be fine.”

Remus leaned over to kiss his neck and slide his hand up Roman’s leg. “You sure? The back seat is empty.”

“I said no.” Roman unlocked the passenger door. “I’m gonna stretch my legs for a minute. I swear I’ll be back.”

Remus’s hand found its way under Roman’s shirt and his teeth found Roman’s ear. “You’d better.”

Roman opened the door and unbuckled his seatbelt. He stood outside for a second and did the stupidest thing he had ever done. He didn’t even wait for the tingling in his legs to go away before he was running for the tree line.

A sharp laugh followed him, but he didn’t look back. He was exhausted and barely conscious. There was no way he would have risked this if he had known how out of it he really was.

The trees were dark and he could barely see five feet ahead. He didn’t stop. He kept running until his foot slipped and he was face down in the dirt. He scrambled to his feet. The fall had lost him a lot of ground, but it woke him up a little. Low branches slapped his arms and he almost ran into a tree. It was too dark. He was too tired. His side hurt and he stowed to a walk. There was no way Remus would find him now.

“I’m going to find you! You can’t hide from me!”

_ Shit _ . He glanced around, searching for a place to sit down and wait for Remus to give up.

A click sounded right behind him and he froze. He closed his eyes and bit back a curse.

“Turn around. Come back to the car. Get some sleep.”

He moved as slowly as possible, testing Remus, stretching his patience to the absolute limit. The tightness in his chest and the fire in his sides kept him from getting any air into his lungs. He looked at his twin brother with every insult and every plea for his life he could think of.

Remus wasn’t holding a gun. The cigarette in his mouth glowed and he flipped the lighter in his hands over a few times. “What’s that look for? You were expecting someone else? Or did you just think I was going to shoot you in the back?”

“No.”

“Good.” Remus reached into his back pocket to put the lighter away. “I left the gun in the glove compartment. I don’t have a weapon.”

Roman could still fight. He could find a way home. He was a grown-ass man and so was Remus. In all truth, he could probably steal the car and make it home before anyone worried. He could still… fight. He was… he wasn’t… beat… yet…

———

He woke up to the sunrise. They were passing through a small town. His back hurt like he had been dragged through a forest and shoved into a car. He was starving.

“What do you want for breakfast?”

Roman turned away and stared out the window. He didn’t look at anything specific. “I want to go home.”

“I know. Me too. I was thinking about bacon… maybe eggs. I don’t know my way around here very well, but nothing can be much worse than Patton’s cooking, right?” Remus stopped at a light and tapped his finger against the wheel. “Right?”

“Right.” Roman barely registered what Remus was saying. He could barely breathe. “I’m just hungry. I don’t care.”

———

Roman tried to push Remus’s hand off his leg before he even opened his eyes. His wrists were between his knees, bound to his ankles to keep him from moving them. “Don’t touch me.”

Remus just moved his fingers up Roman’s thigh and wandered between his legs. “We’re in New Mexico. Isn’t it pretty?”

He wanted to throw up. He struggled as best he could, but he was too weak and confused. How far were they going?

———

“Hey, Princey, wake up.” Remus tapped Roman’s arm. “We’re crossing into Arizona. Look.”

Roman couldn’t care less about state borders or pretty scenery.

———

“Princey? Are you awake?”

“Why did we stop?”

———

The room was spacious and open. All he could see out the window was blue water and bluer sky. He was still tied up, but now he was sitting on a couch. It was comfortable. His clothes were still covered in dirt from when he had slipped and fallen in the woods in Texas. Where was he now?

Wherever he was, it wasn’t the car and it probably cost more than his college tuition.

He could hear voices nearby, but they stopped when he looked in their direction.

Remus put a hand on Roman’s cheek and smiled down at him. The other voice must have belonged to Janus, who stood with his arm around Remus’s waist.

“You lied to me. You said he didn’t give you any trouble.”

“He didn’t. I had it under control. He tried to run halfway through Texas, but he didn’t get far.” Remus looked over to accept a kiss from Janus and closed his eyes. “Mm...besides, you lie to me all the time.”

Janus glanced at Roman and tipped his head to the side. “You should let him take a shower and eat something.”

Remus kissed Janus’s neck. “In a minute. I missed you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! You might have noticed that I have a set final chapter now. Yep. We're nearing the endgame now. It all comes down to this.


	16. If I Spilled My Guts, The World Would Never Look At You The Same Way

Virgil threw a jacket on and left the house before saying goodbye. Patton and Logan wouldn’t notice anyway. They were too busy falling apart and tearing each other down to build themselves up. He couldn’t live here anymore. Not without Roman.

Uncle Remy sat in his car, his eyes flicking between the house and the time.

Virgil tossed a duffel bag into the back and strapped himself into the passenger seat. “I don’t even know where they are.”

“It’ll be okay. It can’t be too hard to find them.”

They drove for hours before Virgil opened his mouth again. “I’m scared.”

Remy nodded but didn’t take his eyes off the highway.

Virgil didn’t want to distract him, but he couldn’t stay quiet. “What if we don’t find them? What if he’s already-?”

“Shut up.” The needle on the speedometer climbed and the trees sped past. “Virgil, he’s fine.”

He looked out the windshield and took a few breaths. He couldn’t tell what was bothering Remy, but he knew what it felt like to be confused and afraid and pressed for time.

At noon, a cop pulled them over. Virgil kept quiet and didn't look up from his hands.

Remy apologized and somehow managed to flirt his way out of a ticket. He was incredibly confident and Virgil envied his ability to read people and say all the right things.

As soon as the cop left and they were alone, Remy set his head on the steering wheel and took a few shaky breaths.

Virgil slowly reached out and touched Remy’s shoulder. He couldn’t imagine the strain he was under. Between losing his nephew, keeping Virgil calm, and making his way across the country, he must have been barely holding it together.

Remy looked up and scraped his hands over his cheeks. “Sorry about that.”

“It’s okay.” Virgil pulled his hand back and forced himself to smile. “I’m sorry I don’t have a license, or I’d offer to take over.”

“Thank you, but I’ll be fine.”

He wasn’t fine. Remy was on the edge of a breakdown and he was liable to hurt somebody. Not Virgil. If he was alone, he would probably want to cover as much ground in as little time as possible. He wasn’t alone. Virgil was right next to him and he couldn’t risk anything happening to him. One nephew’s life being in danger was bad enough.

They stopped for the night halfway through Texas. 

Virgil couldn’t sleep, but he pretended to for Remy’s sake.

As soon as he thought Virgil was asleep, he let himself cry for real.

It was well past midnight before either of them got any sleep.

The next day wasn’t much different, except that now they were driving through empty desert. There was still the stress and the edge of danger in the air. Virgil still didn’t say anything and Remy still didn’t let a fraction of his terror show.

They had no idea where Roman and Remus were, or even if they were together. Roman could have been dead for all they knew. Virgil couldn’t think about anything else. Remus had probably shot him at the first sign of trouble or slit his throat after taking what he wanted.

Every scar on Virgil’s wrists burned. Janus was involved somehow. He couldn’t pin down how he knew, but it was clear to him that only one person could screw up his family this much. “I know where they are.”

Remy gripped the wheel tighter. “Really? How?”

Virgil almost laughed, if only to release some of the pressure in the car. “Long story short, our neighbor is helping Remus and he has a house in Oxnard.”

“I trust you.” He didn’t have much choice. It was something. He had been aimlessly racing across the country for almost two days and any destination was better than nothing.

The rest of the trip was a different silent. Remy was more focused, more directed.

Virgil was also more focused. His runaway imagination had enough fuel to take him all the way to the darkest parts of his time with Janus. Just the mention of the beach house sent him back to the day he lost Rachel.

_ She was crying. She didn’t even have the strength to push Janus away when he started to comb through her tangled, wild hair with his fingers. “Janus, he’s twelve.” _

_ “Rachel, he’s a nuisance. Honestly, woman, you can’t even take care of yourself. He has to go.” He looked at Virgil and nodded. He meant what he said. “Besides, he doesn’t love you. He doesn’t appreciate a thing you’ve done for him.” _

_ “I can’t abandon him.” _

_ “Then think of it as returning him to the life he’s used to. Change is good for a child.” _

_ She leaned into him for support and Virgil knew she was gone. She had swallowed every bit of Janus’s bullshit. “You’re right. I'm sorry I didn’t ask you sooner. Your opinion should matter more to me than that. He didn’t hurt you, did he?” _

_ “Not nearly as much as you have.” His voice was still sweet and he leaned down to kiss the top of her head. “You’ll pay for that in time. For now all I want is that pest out of my way.” _

He should have stepped in and done something. He should have fought. Not for himself, that only got him in more trouble. He should have fought for Rachel. He had no idea what had happened to her.

“We’re getting close. Do you have an address? A street name? Anything?”

Virgil nodded. He had only heard the address once, but he had lived that day too many times to not know it by heart.  


* * *

Patton tensed when he felt a familiar hand on his shoulder. He didn’t have to ask who it was. He set the last dish into the rack. “What is it, Logan? What do you want?”

“Where are the kids?”

He had no idea. It wasn’t unusual for Remus or Virgil to disappear for days on end. It had only been two. The only reason this was different was that Roman was gone, too. “I think Roman is staying with a friend.”

Logan gripped his shoulder tighter and sighed. “Patton, I’ve tried calling him. He’s not answering. I think something is wrong.”

“Why do you say that? They’re adults. They can take care of themselves.” Patton closed his eyes. He couldn’t imagine why all three of them would have run off like this.

“Listen to yourself. Patton, Remus has been tormenting Roman for weeks and Virgil doesn’t trust us anymore. I’m sick of you pretending that your infidelity is the only sin in this house. Wake up. Either do something about this mess or don’t, it doesn’t matter to me as long as you admit there is a mess.”

Patton turned to face his husband and shook his head. “You talk like Remus asked to be manipulated. Janus put the idea in his head, I know he did. Virgil never trusted us. Not really. You want me to admit there’s a problem? Fine! You’re never here! It would be fine if you worked regular hours, but you always have to help with some crisis when I need you most! I hate not knowing when I’ll wake up alone. It isn’t Remus’s fault you never taught him right from wrong!”

“I tried! He’s sick! He needs to be in a hospital and, honestly, Virgil does too! I wouldn’t be surprised if Roman killed himself when all this is over. He has been through hell and you’ve just sat there feeling sorry for yourself! I’m sorry too. Sorry you can’t say no to a pretty face.”

“Shut up! Logan, those are my  _ children _ you’re talking about!  _ Our _ children! How can you-?”

“You don’t  _ own _ them, damn it! Even if they were ‘our’ kids, they’re their own people! Virgil doesn’t even call you dad.”

Patton took a step back and found himself trapped against the counter. “We adopted them. We saved them from never having a home. If they don’t recognize that, that’s their problem.”

Logan caught Patton’s wrist and forced him to look up. “ _ That’s _ what this is about? Your savior complex? Patton, you fought me over the twins! You begged me to let you take them! You told me you felt called by a god you don’t believe in to give these boys a home! Why? So you could brag about how selfless you are? So you could ‘fix’ them and show them off? You never wanted kids, Patton! You just wanted a project!”

“I gave up everything for them!”

“There you go again!  _ ‘My _ sacrifice!’  _ ‘My  _ kids!’  _ ‘My _ time!’ You make me sick! If you were really as generous as you pretend to be, you would at least try to keep this family together! I should have left a long time ago. The only thing you ever ‘gave’ me out of the goodness of your heart was Virgil. I should have taken him and walked out when I realized that you only said we should help him when I mentioned he was neurodivergent. That’s not love. That’s pride.”

“Logan, I love Virgil more than-!”

“Not more than yourself, clearly. You’re so damn selfish you can’t even say no to a stranger who asks to get into your pants. I should have known you would never change when you hooked up with Remy not three days after I proposed. At least it wasn’t a complete surprise. He was your go-to. What are the numbers again? For every two times with me, you’d sneak off once with him? Or was it the other way around? No wonder you dropped out of school. You were failing and you didn’t want to give up your side bitch.”

Patton took a second to respond, and when he did he just took a breath and let his shoulders drop. “Remy was just a friend. He still is.”

“Just a friend with benefits you couldn’t refuse.” Logan took a step back. “He changed. If he was still the same man he was in college, I wouldn’t let him near Virgil and the twins. He’s a good person now. He isn’t perfect, but he’s a lot closer than you are.”

“I’m sorry.”

“For what? Cheating? Lying? Or just generally being an asshole.”

Patton closed his eyes. He wanted to be sorry for everything. “I shouldn’t have told you about Janus.”

Logan turned and walked away. He was far from finished, but he couldn’t stay another minute. This argument would go on forever if they let it.

* * *

Remus kicked the door shut and was on top of Janus before he even took off his jacket. He didn’t pause to think. All he wanted was that body on his. The craving was driving him nuts and he couldn’t speak or even think.

A second later, he was flat on his back and Janus was pulling his clothes off as slowly as possible. It hurt. He wanted to pull Janus down and lose himself to that madman, but for now the desperation was somewhat bearable. At least Janus was touching him.

He let himself be bound to the bed frame, one limb in each corner. Janus wouldn’t leave him here like this. He wasn’t cruel. Well, he was, but he wasn’t the sort of man to tease.

Remus opened his eyes and watched Janus open the drawer in the nightstand.

The black, flat metal of a pistol appeared in Janus’s hand and he inspected it for a minute. “You look nervous.”

His breath caught in his throat and he didn’t dare close his eyes.

Janus brushed the gun under Remus’s chin and skated the muzzle down his chest. He didn’t stop at his stomach.

Remus’s eyes widened. He strained against the leather straps holding him to the bed, trying to fold in on himself or at least keep the metal off his skin. His tongue was dry and his eyes wouldn’t focus. “You wouldn’t...”

Janus dug the weapon into Remus’s body as he leaned in and put a kiss on his collarbone. “Mmm... but I would. And you would love every second of it.”

He was terrified. This was the first time he had been held at gunpoint like this and he wasn’t sure he liked it. He wanted to cry or fight or ask Janus to put the damn gun down. “Please, sir... please stop.”

Janus’s tongue ran up Remus’s neck as he shifted the position of the gun to hold it at a more comfortable angle. He nipped the bottom of Remus’s ear. “No. What have I told you about begging?”

A tear slid down Remus’s temple and his throat was full of sharp, shaky gasps. He could feel Janus’s breath on his jaw and the cool metal of the gun against his pelvis. He couldn’t move and he was starting to feel sick. “I’m s-sorry... mmmh... hnuuu...” His noises dissolved into sobs and his hands clenched into fists. He wanted to leave. He wanted his clothes back.

The gun disappeared from Remus’s skin and Janus sat up. He kissed the barrel and smiled. As gently as he could, he tucked the muzzle between Remus’s teeth and slid it as deep as it would comfortably go, then a little deeper. “I know you’re sorry. Don’t say anything for a while. I like you when you’re quiet.”

He did as he was told. He didn’t like it. Even if the gun was full of blanks, it would kill him if Janus pulled the trigger. If it was empty, he would be safe, but that didn’t make it any better.

Janus didn’t move the gun from Remus’s mouth as he worked. He took what he wanted and gave nothing in return. It hurt.

When he was finished, Janus slid the gun out of Remus’s mouth and put his tongue in. The cold, wet metal brushed Remus’s side.

Remus kissed back as best he could and let out a whine when Janus pulled away. “Thank you.”

Janus smiled. “Are you happy?”

“Yes, sir.” Remus brushed his knee against Janus’s leg and tried to breathe. “Are you… are you going to kill me?”

“Maybe. I’d like to watch you and Roman first, but it depends on how quickly you piss me off. Shame I couldn’t be there the first time. I’m sure that was really something.”

Remus struggled against the bonds and forced a laugh. “So, that’s it? You just want to watch me rail Princey and if I do well enough, you’ll let me live?”

“No. If I feel like it, I’ll let you live. Watching you two is just a byproduct. Go downstairs and untie him. I’ll be down in a minute. Unless you’re not feeling up to it right now?”

He was exhausted. He hurt and his eyes wouldn’t focus. “Maybe tonight.”

* * *

This was it. This was the address Virgil had given. Remy didn’t doubt it for a minute. He had never met their mysterious neighbor, but it made sense that his second house would look like some kind of James-Bond villain’s hideout. From what Virgil had said, he was probably one of those eccentric assholes who wore shoes more expensive than Remy’s entire apartment and knew it.

He tapped his finger against the steering wheel and studied the house for a minute. There wasn’t a fence or a gate. He could just walk up to the front door. “Virgil?”

“Yeah?”

Remy looked at his favorite nephew— well, maybe not  _ favorite _ … no. Virgil was definitely his favorite nephew. Roman was his favorite little brother. Remus could burn in hell. “Listen very closely.”

Virgil’s eyes were full of something dark and fluid. Fear. Confusion. The chaos of hot and cold emotions crashing into each other and not knowing who to trust. He was listening. Remy was probably the only thing he could hold onto right now. That made what he was going to say next even more important.

“I need you to know that no matter what happens next, I love both of you equally. Virgil, I love you every bit as much I love Roman. And he loves you too.” Remus took a sharp, shaky breath and forced himself to finish his thought. “You need to know that if I have to choose between Roman’s life and yours… I’m going to pick Roman.”

“Okay.”

Remy took Virgil’s hand and tried to swallow the flood of anger and sadness pressing on his eyes. Remus had put them all in danger because of a selfish whim. Janus had crushed Virgil’s heart and beat him and told him he wasn’t worth a dime. Logan had let Virgil grow up alone. Patton hadn’t done jack shit. Roman… oh, lord. Remy had no idea how long Remus had been torturing him like this and he felt sick. He needed to do something about it. “Virgil, do you know why I said that?”

The hand in Remy’s squeezed back. “Because Roman hasn’t done half the things the world needs him to.”

“No.” Remy gripped Virgil’s fingers and held eye contact. He needed to say this now or risk losing Virgil to the inadequate, unlovable version of him that Janus had created. “Virgil, I would pick Roman in a heartbeat because I know that you don’t need to live with that kind of guilt. You have overcome so much and learned to love yourself despite what everyone told you. The last thing you need is to lose Roman and blame yourself. I would rather let you die than force you to walk that road.”

Virgil was crying. He didn’t say anything. He didn’t move. He didn’t make any sound. He just let the tears slide down his face.

Remy bit back a scream. He hated this. His throat was on fire and his arms were numb. If they were too late… they weren’t. Roman was fine. They had a chance. They would all make it home. “It isn’t going to come to that. I will see both of you turn at least thirty.”

“I know. Are we ready?”

No. “Yeah.”

He took a few minutes to compose himself and hide his dread under the rug. When he felt like he could speak without breaking down again, he opened his door. “Do you want to wait here, or…?”

“I can’t sit here and do nothing.”

“Should have guessed.” Remy shut the door behind himself and the two of them made their way up to the house.

Remy rang the bell and there was no going back. He had to do whatever he could to get Roman home safely.

An agonizing minute later, a voice asked for identification. Just a casual, “Who is it?”, but enough to make Remy glance at Virgil and force himself to swallow his panic. He hadn’t really… planned this part… He said the first thing that came to mind. A direct quote from the musical  _ Working _ . “UPS!”

The door opened after a second. The first thing Remy noticed was the waistcoat. It was perfectly fitted and bright yellow. The rest of the man’s ensemble was composed of muted grays. The top of his head came to about Remy’s chin. His eyes held an otherworldly charm. “Well? Who are you really?”

* * *

Janus poured the rest of the bottle into his glass and sat on the couch. He felt hollow, like a shell on the verge of cracking. Remus sat across from him, touching his brother and planting kisses up his neck. Roman’s arms were bound behind his back and his ankles were shackled together. Honestly, they fit together like puzzle pieces. They were made for each other. “You two look absolutely delicious. How long have you wanted him?”

Remus looked up for a moment and smiled. “As long as I can remember. My mama promised I could have him all to myself when I was eighteen. I haven’t seen her since we were kids…”

“Oh? She encouraged this behavior? This… familial intimacy?” Janus took a sip of wine, leaning back and tipping his head.

“She was the first woman I ever loved. Not the last, but certainly the most patient.” His fingers paused on the button of Roman’s jeans. “She never touched Princey. He’s always been mine. Remember when you used to love this?”

Roman had been still and silent until he was asked a direct question. He tried to squirm out of Remus’s reach. “I  _ never _ loved it. I hated you. I still hate you. When you stopped in high school, I thought I was free. I should have moved out when I had the chance.”

Janus chuckled. He almost couldn’t believe he hadn’t thought of twins before. And these two both had so much fire. Roman’s resistance only made it better. “When you’re done bickering, I’d like to see some real action. The rougher the better. I want to see blood.”

Remus’s mouth split into a grin and his eyes lit up like Vegas. “Anything for you, Daddy.”

“Don’t call me that.” Janus swirled his wine and took another sip. “I think I like ‘sir’.”

“Yes, sir.” Remus didn’t break eye contact as he dragged his fingers up Roman’s soft, milky skin. When he reached Princey’s chest, he used his nails to draw thin white lines that quickly turned red. He didn’t break the skin. Yet.

Janus settled back into the couch to watch the show. If nothing else, Remus was brutal. It was nice to watch from a distance. Of course, Janus adored the feeling of power that came with acts of violence and torment, but a step back let him really savor Roman’s wide eyes and pleas for mercy.

Remus would make a fine killer someday, if he ever grew enough of a spine to actually finish the job.

They didn’t get far before the doorbell rang. Janus set his wine down and stood. He reached into his pocket and tucked his switchblade into the palm of his hand. “You two stay here. Keep quiet.”

He walked through the empty house to the front door. His feet made no noise on the carpet, the wood, or the rug. Whoever was at the door had come at the wrong time. If they were with the law, he could easily buy his innocence with enough money. If they were anyone else, they had no reason to suspect him of anything. Unless… no. He wouldn’t. “Who is it!?”

“UPS!”

No. It wasn’t. His curiosity would be his undoing someday. He opened the door.

There were two men and Janus recognized Virgil as soon as he saw him. The other one… Janus had seen him once or twice in passing. He waited for the intruders to say something for a moment, then took the initiative himself. “Well? Who are you really?”

The stranger held eye contact and shifted his weight to one leg. “Are you Janus?”

No harm in a little truth every now and then. Besides, Virgil would expose him in a heartbeat and he wasn’t about to let that delinquent think he had won. “Yes.”

“Good. I’m sorry if this is a bad time, but it's important.”

Janus smiled in a soft, cold way that allowed no room for bargaining. “Oh?”

The stranger took a step closer and lowered his voice, despite the street being deserted. “I’d like a word with you. We can talk here, or somewhere private. Your choice.”

Alright. This could be interesting. Worst came to worst, he would have to kill him. “Come in. Make this good.”

The stranger pulled Virgil inside and Janus started for the living room. Whether this man knew about the twins or not, Janus was better safe than sorry. “Remus! I expect you to either behave or go to your room. We have company.”

When the three came to the living room, the boys looked perfectly happy and normal. If you ignored the fact that one of them was shirtless and bound in leather. Roman’s eyes flashed for a second and Remus’s expression soured. So, they recognised Virgil. Perhaps the man as well. Janus sat on the couch and picked up his wine. “Alright, start talking. What did you want to say?”

“Not much. Only that you’re an asshole and a bastard. I’m here for my nephew and I’m prepared to kill you if I have to.”

So that was his game. Honestly, Janus should have seen something so dull coming a mile away. “Then kill me. Your dear nephews go free and you can give my extensive list of victims to the police. I keep a written record in the safe behind my grandmother’s portrait. The passcode is the date and time she died. European order.”

The boys’ uncle shifted to place more of himself between Janus and Virgil. “I said, if I have to.”

“Which nephew did you say you wanted?” Janus rose and opened the drawer of the end table. He produced a compact, streamlined pistol and pointed it at Roman’s chest. “The precious favorite child?” He adjusted his aim and lined up his shot between Remus’s eyes. “The misguided rebel?” His hands moved a few inches and the gun’s line of fire landed on Virgil’s throat. “Or the dysfunctional jellyfish?”

He closed his eyes and waited a second before he opened them. His voice almost shook with some kind of emotion. It was hard to tell. “I’m here for Remus. You can keep Roman.”

Janus swung the pistol back to Remus and pulled the trigger. Blood spilled down the duke’s face and dripped off his chin. He didn’t have time to panic. Remus was dead before he knew he had been shot.

The man’s shoulders loosened. He was… relieved? He had  _ wanted  _ Janus to shoot the damn son of a whore. Maybe reverse-psychology was one of his few weaknesses. The other twin would have to go next.

Out of the corner of his eye, Janus lined up his shot and watched Roman freeze. He took a sip of wine and allowed himself to revel in his victory. “Tell me… will Patton miss the little shits? Will he even notice they’re gone? Or is he too busy scrambling to keep Logan in the dark to even care? Unless… oh, no… he wouldn’t. Has Patton already confessed everything to Logan?”

“Virgil, what is he talking about?”

“Nothing. It doesn’t matter.”

Janus chuckled, then turned his full attention to Roman. He took the three steps over to him and pressed the gun against his temple. “I’ve wanted to do this for a long-”

His shoulder exploded in pain and his arm went numb.  _ Damn it _ . The gun fell to the floor and he couldn't move his hand. This intruder was lucky he hadn’t pulled the trigger when he was hit. He reached up to touch the wound and try to stop the bleeding.

The boys’ uncle stood exactly where Janus had left him, a handgun still tucked between his hands. “Do you want me to call a doctor? Or should I just leave you to fend for yourself?”

Where did he get a gun? How had he…? What was…? When did…? Before Janus could even form a full question, he was reaching for the gun with his good hand. He looked up far too fast and his ears started ringing. He couldn’t see. He was falling through time and everything was dark.

* * *

Logan went to bed alone again. He was done waiting. Tomorrow, he would have time to actually look for the kids. It had been four days.

He was asleep by the time Patton opened the door.

He didn’t get any rest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aah, the end of an age. The war is won, but the battles are far from over. Please, dear reader, stay tuned.
> 
> The next chapter is complete now. Let me know if you would rather have it next week or tomorrow. It’s a short one.


	17. Your Weary Widow Marches On

The only reason Virgil had come was for closure. He didn’t care that Remus was dead and he wouldn’t have to see him ever again. He just wanted to know that it was true. He could let down his guard.

He stood alone by the dark patch of dirt for a long time, not moving. Remus didn’t deserve all this pageantry. He should be in a hand-dug mass grave in Janus’s back yard.

“He was a good man.”

“No, he wasn’t.” Virgil didn’t look up. He didn’t know who was standing next to him and he didn’t care. The world shouldn’t mourn the death of a monster. “He would have become a serial killer or a sex trafficker. I’m not saying goodbye. I’m saying good riddance.”

The woman sighed and shifted her feet. “I’m sorry to hear that. How did it happen?”

Virgil almost laughed, but it was too accurate to be funny. “He became a serial killer and a sex trafficker.”

She didn’t say anything else. She left a few moments later.

Virgil walked through the cemetery by himself, skimming the names on the headstones. He had done this a hundred times in the old graveyard where the birth years were around the revolutionary war, but he hadn’t been through here before. He didn’t recognize any of these names until he did.

_ Rachel Williams _

_ 1976 - 2012 _

_ “A little love goes a long way.” _

At least she got a proper burial.

* * *

Patton sat in the living room with a box of things he hadn’t seen in years. Paintings and sketches from when Remus was in high school lay on the floor around him. He held the last one in his hands and tried not to wonder what Remus’s works would have looked like in another year or two. He didn’t even know what they looked like a week ago. Patton had always said he was an incredible artist. He supposed it made sense that he would have died young.

A pale green figure sat alone in a landscape of greys and browns. Birds. The dark shapes were birds. Circling. Hunting? Protecting? Surrounding the figure for reasons beyond Patton’s understanding. He had never really understood art the way Logan did and Remus’s paintings didn’t follow any line of reasoning that he could see.

The figure was chained to the ground. Patton couldn’t tell where it came from, but he felt an angry kind of loneliness as he looked at the painting. He wanted to cry and hurt someone. He wanted to know why Remus had painted this and what it meant.

He wanted to kill himself.

* * *

Logan knocked on Virgil’s bedroom door and waited for an answer. He didn’t expect one.

“Come in.”

He opened the door. The light was off and Virgil sat curled up in the leather armchair by the window. Logan stepped into the room and shut it most of the way. Enough to block the light, but not enough to feel like a threat. “Can I talk to you?”

Virgil looked up from his laptop. The screen provided the only light on his face aside from the string of purple skull lights along the wall. It made him look like a ghost. “What about?”

Logan pressed his lips together. “I want to know if you’re okay.”

“I’m fine. Do you need anything else?”

He didn’t like to pry, but he also wanted Virgil to develop healthy ways of coping. “Do you want to tell me what you’re doing?”

“No. Go away.” Virgil pulled the screen of his laptop down and sent his face into shadow. “It’s not… it’s just… I’m writing.”

Logan nodded. “You don’t have to share if it makes you uncomfortable, I was just curious.”

Virgil looked back at his work. “Okay. It’s not, like… bad. It just sucks.”

“I’ll let you finish that. Unless you want to take a break?”

He shook his head and Logan slipped out into the hall.

* * *

Roman sat in the corner of a bar with Remy. He had wanted to enjoy his birthday. He wasn’t supposed to get wasted and cry over his dead brother.

Remy gently set a hand on Roman’s wrist and looked at his face. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“No.” Roman just wanted to have a good time. He wanted to pretend Remus had never existed for one night. Was that so much to ask? “Why do I feel like this?”

“Because you don’t know what you’re doing yet. You’re still getting used to-”

“I should be  _ glad _ he’s dead! Why do I feel like  _ shit!” _

Remy pulled the glass out of Roman’s hand and looked him in the eye. “I can’t answer that for you, but I’m going to stop you right here. I don’t want you to think this is an acceptable way to handle grief. You’re mourning. If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s don’t drink and cry. You’ll only hate yourself more.”

“You’re right. Thanks.”

“Hey, Roman.”

“Yeah?”

“If you ever want to go to New York… I’m always down to take you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The End.
> 
> I would be willing to write an epilogue or a sequel someday, but for now, we've wound things to a close. The sun is setting and our heroes can finally start picking up the pieces. Please note that I will happily give full bragging rights to whoever can name every song in the chapter titles. I guess it's finally over. But this is only a new beginning.
> 
> If/when I do write a sequel, I'd like to include some reader-fueled content from the get-go. Let me know what you'd like to see. I'm talking fantasy elements, supernatural occurrences, futuristic technology here. Give me any idea that definitely doesn't fit and I'll make it work. I could potentially write multiple universes that all stem from this event.

**Author's Note:**

> This honestly started out as a joke, but now I'm invested.  
> I have a few ideas for things I want to happen, but if anyone has something to add, please comment and let me know.
> 
> Requests can be as much as "Remus moves out of the state" or as little as "Patton calls Logan 'honey' once". I'm just looking for anything and everything right now. I already know the roles Deceit and Dr. Picani play in this universe, but I'm open to suggestions about Remmy and willing to include or invent other characters.
> 
> I reserve the right to turn down any request for any reason, so think more "suggestion" than "request". If I don't include an idea, I will try to let you know why so you don't think it's just because I don't love you.
> 
> Here are some hard rules just to avoid anything embarrassing.  
> \- Please, PLEASE read through the comments before making a request, because chances are you're not the first  
> \- Nothing that would qualify as "Explicit"  
> \- Remus doesn't make good on his threat to Patton  
> \- No major character death (I will accept suicidal/self-harm thoughts or language, but no drastic action)  
> \- I will not include any of your OCs, so don't ask  
> \- This list is not complete (I will probably add rules as I go)
> 
> Thank you for reading and enjoy the rest of the show.


End file.
